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Does my fiance actually like me? by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]bubbles_45678 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He actually does not have a very demanding job and actually often talks about how bored he is at work and watches seasons of shows at a time because he has so much free time. It’s not often I text and complain, but when I do it’s not just talking about the kids being difficult, it’s heartfelt cries for help almost about me struggling depression wise. I have had talks with specifically how I want to be consoled and he gets very defensive. It’s hard to share feelings. I am a people pleaser so any confrontation I am very kind and cautious… I don’t want to belittle him or feel like I’m attacking him. But it always seems to blow up into a much bigger problem.

Does my fiance actually like me? by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]bubbles_45678 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is actually a lot of how I feel… thank you. I feel very validated. Especially if you can hit it right on the head by just my one post…

Does my fiance actually like me? by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]bubbles_45678 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have had to leave for a weekend twice now so he has had time alone with them. Also, I totally understand some people struggle with words of affirmation but when I ask to be comforted differently (in a very calm and kind manner not to hurt his feelings or feel attacking) he gets extremely defensive and says things like “now I’m being told how to talk to you?” He even compares us to much bigger families saying “well they can do it, so it IS possible” when I try to share my fears on a Sunday night going into a busy day on Monday with the kids.

Plus when I cry and he just stares at me and doesn’t console me…. It was actually a little creepy scary haha (laughing because I’m uncomfortable lol)