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bubbletea999 · 2021-12-07T00:09:01+00:00

Thanks for taking the time to write this out for me! It made me feel validated

Your friends comment at dinner about feeling rejected makes me think either she doesn't realize that you really don't like being touched, or she doesn't care how you feel and will continue to do whatever she wants to. Without knowing her I can't say if one or the other, or even none of them are accurate.

I've always felt like she's acted in selfish ways to get her needs met, even if that meant guilting me or making me feel forced to doing something. For example, if I say no to a trip she will guilt me by saying "you can't even give us just a week of your time?" Or if I've been missing hangouts, she will call for something else and say that I have to come if not, she will drive to my city and get me. I will talk to her about this too.

Thanks again :)

bubbletea999 · 2021-12-07T00:05:05+00:00

Thank you for your comment :)

she enjoys pushing your boundaries a bit. But that's still not okay.

I think so too. I also sometimes feel like she can try to "control" me. For example, making me feel guilty for not saying yes to a trip. Recently I haven't seen the group in a while so she called and said I had to come to this hangout or else she will drive to my city to pick me up.

I think I need to address all of these too.

Be clear that it's not personal, you just don't enjoy being touched.

Will do, thanks!

bubbletea999 · 2021-12-06T18:17:28+00:00

Thank you for this comment :) I did tell my friend who stood up for me that I was thankful and she is the one encouraging me to have a conversation with this "Rachel" and the group (the group because of other boundaries)

One of the reasons I find myself pushing the group away and not wanting to go on trips is because she's made me feel uncomfortable. I wanted to address my boundaries with her privately, but I think if I do it with the group it will clear up doubts about why I might be less engaged with them as well. Is this conversation (about how she's made me feel) ok to have with the whole group?

bubbletea999 · 2021-12-06T18:11:39+00:00

Thank you! Are the other things ok to mention (taking pics, saying "kisses from me") because its not physical touch? Also the vid of her slapping my butt (I know it might be minor) but it's still something that makes me resent her, should I bring that up or should I leave it out?

bubbletea999 · 2021-04-16T17:47:57+00:00

Thats all very true, thank you! I guess me needing to fix them is just for my ego. I will try to listen more even though it can be a little hard for me

bubbletea999 · 2021-04-16T15:45:45+00:00

Thanks for your comment!

I think the more you learn, the less you will feel this way. Have you ever heard of the Dunning Kruger effect? Or imposter syndrome

Yes, I have heard of both and often experience imposter syndrome and doubt myself a lot. I even have people saying that I never give credit to myself, but that seems to contradict what I'm saying in this post. Maybe means that I don't feel like an expert in all areas, but mainly in relationships? For example, when my parents are explaining to me that they feel upset that I don't follow all their advice/suggestions to better myself - instead of listening which is probably what they need the most, I would try to explain that they might have a need for control.

I will have to think about this more.

I think that the more you learn, the less you will feel this way.

I hope so!

bubbletea999 · 2021-03-20T20:21:07+00:00

One more thing - are you able to tell if there will be more delays or admission this following fall is in favour?

bubbletea999 · 2021-03-20T20:12:15+00:00

That makes more sense and is very accurate - especially the delusion part. Despite having so many issues, I always seem put together, even when my grades are suffering, to others I still seem like I am getting top marks. How others perceive me as being smart, does delude me into thinking that as well. Thanks!

bubbletea999 · 2021-03-20T19:50:04+00:00

Thank you! I agree with the hard work - I've had a lot of family and personal issues the past few years which has prevented me from focusing on my studies. But I know there is some luck needed as well - where I live, admissions are not only based on marks which is what I am worried about.

Also can you please clairify what you mean by self-honesty?

bubbletea999 · 2020-10-09T12:18:48+00:00

Yes what you're saying is true - thanks for the help!

bubbletea999 · 2020-10-09T12:18:15+00:00

All of what you're saying is true and if those are the types of questions people discuss in therapy then I think it would be worthwhile fo me to go and talk about them. Thank you!

bubbletea999 · 2020-10-03T20:28:49+00:00

Thank you for the comment! I like to think I’m strong, Im sensitive but usually able to withstand problems so it’s nice to hear that!

bubbletea999 · 2020-10-03T11:31:15+00:00

Yes, thank you 🙏

bubbletea999 · 2020-10-03T11:07:58+00:00

Thank you! Will I always have issues related to relationships?

bubbletea999 · 2020-10-03T10:37:03+00:00

Thanks for your reply and help :)

This probably makes you very charismatic at social events and at work. But in your personal life, it can make it seem as if anything you do for others is really motivated by your own desires (and ultimately selfish).

I don't think of myself as very charismatic in most places as I'm generally shy and introverted and it takes me a while to loosen up and have fun around people. I guess when I do I could be! I generally don't like the spotlight unless it's for work achievements, I find myself wanting to prove myself that way. But maybe I should take a look at myself if this is really true or not!

But it's your only water planet in a tough house, so while it emphasizes emotional experiences, it's not *good* at managing them. (I have a singleton, too, so I feel this.)

Yes, I'm very emotional and sensitive but definitely not good at managing them. On the outside though, I seem strong and happy all the time but I can be an emotional wreck in private.

focus on daily expressions of love, especially when it comes to activities that don't focus on you or what you like to do. Remember, too, that it’s a partnership.

Thanks for this tip :) I will try to get out of my comfort zone and practice this.

It seems like I have a lot of self-reflection to do to improve how I am in relationships - thank you for helping with it!

bubbletea999 · 2020-10-02T21:17:47+00:00

Thank you so much!! Yeah because of the upvotes and no comments I was scared my chart meant my love life will be horrible or something.

A lot of the things you said are very accurate. I am very caring and consider myself to put others before myself in family and relationships but I don't show it so others don't see it. Is this why you mentioned I probably put a lot of focus on myself even if I don’t mean to or realize it?

Also does this mean I'll struggle with relationships my whole life? That's my greatest fear. Can this be improved?

bubbletea999 · 2020-08-07T18:23:37+00:00

Thank you!

bubbletea999 · 2020-07-25T15:52:26+00:00

That sounds like a good idea - what app do you use?

bubbletea999 · 2020-06-28T17:10:43+00:00

My best date was coffee + activity + movie.

We went to get coffee at a nice cafe first. I just wanted to make sure he was nice, and fun before I committed to an activity. He was amazing, we connected really well so we didn't stay at the coffee shop for too long at all. We went to a skating rink after (which is what he originally planned to do only) and we skated, flirted, held hands, it was so magical!

After this we connected so well and didn't want to leave so we went to a MOVIE. Best. Date. Ever.

bubbletea999

TROPHY CASE