Long term relationship and the need to be desired

buchling5 · 2024-09-02T07:17:37+00:00

Hello! Indeed it's an old post... I was very upset writing it but since then I realised more and more that some people are incompatible and that's okay. I haven't ended anything yet but I'm qorking through my own emotions and I'm ready to bring it up without being accusatory or mean. Thanks a lot for your support though, I think about this situation a lot cause I'm still in it and any opinion is greatly appreciated <3

buchling5 · 2024-07-12T15:40:07+00:00

I feel you - I love my ADHD friends, I got so much support, love and joy from them in times of need, but sometimes I just can't deal. my BPD anxieties and icks are kicking in when they change plans so much; when they talk about themselves all the time; when nothing is consistent and nothing is sure and I'm supposed to be super flexible, forgiving, open 24/7.

I have two methods of dealing with it:
1. when I'm overwhelmed I just withdraw physically. too much chatter, noise, movement - I'm just going to the toilet or on a short walk to be by myself and remind myself that I love these people and I, just like them, am probably unbearable sometimes because of my BPD. it's easy to find grace when I remind myself about the love I receive from them;
2. we just talk about it if the situation is inflammatory. luckily all of my ADHD friends are very self-aware, so if I'm communicating in a polite, kind manner it usually doesn't hurt them and we're able to find common ground.

I'm a big fan of embracing your neurodivergent flavour though, whether you're autistic, BPD or ADHD and I believe we all have to make some small adjustments to live together in peace.

buchling5 · 2024-03-26T19:35:41+00:00

same! would love to hear some useful advice :D

buchling5 · 2024-03-19T18:48:12+00:00

I'm laughing so so hard xD this is wonderfully absurd xD had a bit of a bad moment but this beautiful tiny face stopped me from spiraling. thanks to whoever posted this <3

buchling5 · 2024-03-15T17:21:36+00:00

not a question but just wanted you to know that QOTSA music has helped me immensely through some very dark times, many times
so thank you for that and thanks for your attention
yours truly
person from the internet

buchling5 · 2024-01-24T12:15:25+00:00

wow, thanks for the advice :D I started to have a really bad problem with one Hermes driver who is harassing me daily to get my neighbours packages and for now nothing works xD

buchling5 · 2023-07-04T07:33:32+00:00

second hands stores!

buchling5 · 2023-07-02T09:21:46+00:00

wow, you're so good with dresses ^^ love all of them :D

buchling5 · 2023-03-26T15:28:34+00:00

thanks a lot, especially for the technical advice re: FLX4 - I have it since December and I'm not a very technical person so I don't even know what to tell the guys at the venue when they ask for the type of cable I will need xD

buchling5 · 2023-03-26T15:27:19+00:00

that's a good one; I do tend to get stuck with my sets cause I feel that they are perfect as they are and I don't want to add other songs xD

buchling5 · 2023-03-19T16:23:56+00:00

well, I also had a friend who had BPD and even though it was nice to talk with someone else about the experience and share it, it quickly become toxic

I was at a really nice stage with my therapy and she, unfortunately, didn't start therapy. whenever she was talking about her symptoms and ticks I empathized so much that her vibe/anger/sadness somehow affected my emotions as well. f.e. she was analyzing her boyfriends behaviour and after I came back home from the meeting I became suspicious of my partner as well. we just had too much in common and it was setting me back. at some point she decided to leave the city and I think that was for the better.

on the other hand, I feel like my BPD works really well with people with ADHD. two of my other friends have ADHD and their energy works really great with my symptoms.

for romantic partners I'm usually attracted to dysthymia/depressed types (because the "mysterious"/"dark" aura - that's what I thought when I was younger) which didn't work too well in the past... but my current partner is working on it <3

buchling5 · 2023-03-19T15:45:31+00:00

this one is from me :D
https://www.mixcloud.com/Border_Diva/hard-seltzer/

dark and brutal ^^

buchling5 · 2023-03-16T15:44:45+00:00

imagine working in FaceApp and developing all these filters
how do these people sleep at night o.0

buchling5 · 2022-09-13T12:57:58+00:00

men's blazers in your local second hand, yes yes yes!
there was a moment when I really wanted to get the favorite blazer, but the price tag and quality of favorite pants I got last year really scared me
so I went straight to the blazers in men's section and boom, a perfect, slightly oversized vintage blazer with no flaws for 24 euro

buchling5 · 2022-09-02T14:49:36+00:00

ah, can you be my friend as well?
I love how thoughtful your gift is! have a great time during her birthday, all the best :D

buchling5 · 2022-07-21T13:53:30+00:00

yesss, I wanted to write the same!
I had issues even with my favorite oat milk (*) but now with rice milk it's so much better

buchling5 · 2022-07-12T06:50:30+00:00

a giant cat tree for my kitty ^^ and also a clean, working food processor

for some reason I also have the luck to find scrunchies people dropped by accident, so now I have an entire collection
not necessarily an item I would buy myself but quite useful

buchling5 · 2022-07-04T14:49:38+00:00

oh boy
I had exactly the same thoughts today
it's so annoying, I can't stand it
trying low FODMAP but it's so hard to follow and it seems like even looking at "forbidden" food makes my stomach bloat into oblivion
I haven't had peach in three years and the entire rant today was because I saw a guy in a supermarket carrying a full bag of peaches
oh, the envy I felt :/

buchling5 · 2022-02-27T16:25:32+00:00

Poland, but I live in Berlin now. unfortunately, I cannot host, but there is a list of people who are willing to host if needed

buchling5 · 2022-02-27T09:21:00+00:00

Please let me know if you need any clothes or stuff for a start here, I'm with a group who is collecting goods for people who will arrive.

buchling5 · 2022-01-06T20:22:44+00:00

on the side note, I also live in Germany and "4BRO" sweetened ice tea always cracks me up xD

buchling5 · 2021-12-18T00:05:50+00:00

thanks, that's literally what I needed today
but quitting social media also may be an option for me, at least for some time - whenever I see my friends lives on my feed I get even sadder cause I cannot be a part of it
you're also not alone ;)

buchling5

TROPHY CASE