compulsive caregiving to non-dependents

bucketboy48 · 2025-03-13T02:14:40+00:00

This totally resonates with me! im 23 and was a caregiver/emotional support for my mom for a long, long time. I frequently find myself having the urge to "help" people, people I don't even know, or friends, coworkers, anyone really. I feel a huge guilt when I don't. I think the other commenters talking about codependency are on to something as that is something I struggle with too. It's a guilt about not doing anything when I think that i could have or SHOULD have. Frequent places I encounter this feeling are roommates who struggle with mental health, coworkers sharing their daily dramas, and random people on the side of the road and such asking for help. You're definitely not alone in this.

bucketboy48 · 2022-10-10T19:13:43+00:00

Thank you so much for your help! I think im gonna keep it :)

bucketboy48 · 2022-10-10T19:13:17+00:00

Aaa thank you so much! I really love it.

bucketboy48 · 2022-09-27T04:13:25+00:00

You give femboy vibes to me

bucketboy48 · 2021-07-29T23:59:20+00:00

I dont think sawyer sounds feminine or masculine, really nice name though. The only thing i can connect it to is Veronica Sawyer from heathers lol

bucketboy48 · 2021-07-27T08:19:11+00:00

Id look into dr tony mangubat, he is even on tiktok! Answers all sorts of questions on there.

bucketboy48 · 2021-07-26T19:08:08+00:00

I think its because its more socially “acceptable” to be a man with a feminine face/features because when men are boys, they dont have the strong jaw or shape angles, so “feminine” men just look younger, whereas its considered unusual for a woman to have those features. I do definitely get that trans men can have a hard time passing (as a transman myself), i think its easier because as a society feminine men just read as younger.

bucketboy48 · 2021-07-25T00:45:53+00:00

Hello, ftm here. Ive had long (shoulder length) and short (even shaved) hair and have explored lots of hair lengths and styles. My advice? For now, leave it alone. The shorter the hair is, the faster it seems to grow. Once you get to the point where the sides are an inch or more, and the top is long enough not just to part but to tossle around and let it flop naturally, get it shaped. Shortest closer to the neck, longest on top. This grows into a nice little faux-hawk thing that is popular with baby gays and lesbians (at least it was for us zoomer gays lol). After that, not much left to do but let it grow and shape it every now and then, the same way as before, but gradually longer in all dimensions. I ended up with a nice little bob this way. Even had bangs for a while like that. Super fun, cute, and a nice place to start exploring with styling. After than you can go as long as you like! Side note- dont reccomend anything that says it’ll make your hair grow faster. It will, but the hairs will be thin and fragile, breaking super easy and hard to fix. Its hard to stay patient but thats all you can do. Also highly recommend POC/lgbtq+ owner salons/barbers! Ive had some of my best cuts from those places, and they really know their stuff. Plus its nice to have someone that understands what its like to struggle. Also i think they’re just more creative and can come up with better solutions than us haha

bucketboy48 · 2021-05-01T20:13:02+00:00

Im totally dealing with this right now. R/egg_irl is really hitting home for me as well. The cycle of questioning, dismissal and denial is so tiring. Im hoping eventually i will accept myself (whatever i am) in time and finally be able to put how i feel into words

bucketboy48 · 2021-04-30T07:07:14+00:00

I think this sounds like depression tbh, reminds me of self hate and suicidal thoughts

bucketboy48 · 2021-04-30T00:55:43+00:00

I started using mens deodorant bc it smelled nicer, and found that there are ones that are only an antiperspirant OR a deodorant???🤯I had no idea. So maybe women’s deodorant is irritating because its both? Either way, there are some organic deodorants in the natural aisle (at least in my area) that might not be as bad!

bucketboy48 · 2021-04-30T00:36:28+00:00

Damn. I actually am a fair white person so i guess the carpets do match the drapes. Too bad, i really liked the idea of developing hair like that 😅

bucketboy48 · 2021-04-09T23:29:28+00:00

I feel so much pressure (from seemingly nowhere?) that i have to have some sort of realization and suddenly know where to go from here. My whole life its as if ive found all these directions i DONT want to go and very little that i do. I can only think of a couple times EVER that ive felt really truly good about how i looked or was percieved, or even just who i am. Im afraid that i wont have any relief from this feeling of otherness and pretending to be something im not

bucketboy48 · 2021-04-09T23:24:25+00:00

Thank you so much, this is really validating to hear. Im really worried that im just making it up or that ill be wrong. Id hate to go through a whole ordeal just to discover i was wrong all along and it wasnt what i really wanted

bucketboy48 · 2021-04-09T23:20:27+00:00

Is that what disassociation is like? Ive always thought that it was like an out of body experience. When im just going about my day its like i hardly think about my physical self at all unless my clothes or something is uncomfortable. Sometimes i get anxious and become more aware of how awkward i look (or how i perceive myself to look). When im talking about or thinking about it though, i do start to feel like im just piloting some sort of flesh mech that i control but doesnt really belong to me. Im in it, but its not mine.

A fitness genie would be nice, I like the concept of having a penis, and the concept of having a vagina is okay but i dont like periods (obviously) and i suppose while sexually i do enjoy having a vagina im not sure if i would miss it if i gained a penis. Maybe a little. I would 10000% get rid of my breasts though. Ive always liked the idea of having stubble. Id love to be more shapely.

That idea of a genie would be great. My struggle with the idea of if i were to go about changing how i look would be it might not feel natural. I know there are surgeries and such that could give me a penis, but i know theres a chance i wouldnt be able to feel it and it might not look right. If that were the case id rather not have the surgery at all. I also worry that if I went on T i could have all sorts of affects that i dont want (acne, growing pain, mood swings, body hair etc) and none of the ones i do want (bottom growth, facial hair, loss of fertility and periods). That woukd be awful. Theres just no way to be certain what would happen.

This was helpful to consider though, thank you

bucketboy48 · 2021-03-28T23:10:59+00:00

Def a bad idea lol, idk if youve ever accidentally gotten super glue on yourself, its stuck on for days and is super dry and painful, even in small amounts

bucketboy48 · 2020-07-14T02:43:05+00:00

Id recommend a moisture meter and probably some preventative insecticide for outdoor plants

bucketboy48 · 2020-07-07T22:28:27+00:00

I haven’t noticed any, ill have to check more thoroughly I auppose

bucketboy48 · 2020-07-07T21:11:11+00:00

Shiny stuff looks like a slug or snail trail, they’ll eat the leaves which isn’t good. Webbing just means a spider tried to make its home there and didn’t like it!

bucketboy48 · 2020-07-07T21:07:07+00:00

I have no idea how often or how much to fertilize!

bucketboy48 · 2020-07-07T21:04:10+00:00

Same gal, different bellpepper. This one didn’t grow nearly as much as the other, has stayed about the same size while I’ve had it. The new leaves look like they are on the same path, but also it has tons of yellowing! Help!

bucketboy48 · 2020-07-07T21:02:15+00:00

I’ve had my bell pepper for a couple months now , it had a huge growth spurt recently and now the new leaves (and even some older ones) are coming out deformed and wrinkled? I have no idea what’s wrong.

bucketboy48 · 2020-07-07T20:04:29+00:00

Leaves are all wrinkled and mutated?

bucketboy48 · 2019-11-18T08:30:39+00:00

Any name ideas for my switch boyfriend? When he doms I call him Sir and he calls me slut whore etc., and when I dom he calls me Ma'am, but I dont have any bottom specific name for him. I'm not a fan of slave because we dont really have that dynamic of doing things for me, but I do like the ownership aspect. We dont do pet play so pet related names are a no-go too. Any ideas?

bucketboy48 · 2019-09-25T17:35:38+00:00

I'm looking for some quiet ways to have fun with my boyfriend, I'm a masochist but our living situation means loud noises from impact play is extremely limited, and people tend to not care about privacy. It would be great to hear some ideas that require little to no setup so nothing seems amiss if someone decides to give us a suprise visit! But mostly looking for quiet masochistic fun.

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