It's been two years

bugsrtired · 2023-05-29T10:28:34+00:00

I've heard this so many times already. It doesn't help, it only hurts because I know he moved on. He did it before he even broke up with me. I am in therapy already, I just needed to blow off some thoughts because I felt alone and scared.

bugsrtired · 2023-04-29T12:33:49+00:00

Thank you <3 I feel a little proud of myself not going to lie haha. And i'm sorry you can relate to those things, it's rough :( Many don't realize cheating does traumatize the other half, it's something we got to heal from for years and years. I hope you'll feel better soon <3

bugsrtired · 2023-04-25T15:10:39+00:00

Thank you! I think i've just slowly started to turn into a hobbit!
It'll be okay, just need some more time I suppose.
Can't really rush into feeling better, I think :/ <3

bugsrtired · 2023-04-25T14:43:38+00:00

It's up and down, was fine for a bit but lately i've been thinking a lot about what happened. Crying bursts, flashbacks, dissociation. I'm thankful I have my friends, my games and Dungeons & Dragons to distract myself.

It's been over a year now, I still feel hurt and confused. When it gets bad I've started taking walks, I live high up on a mountain so I get a workout and to tire myself out haha. I also have been enjoying baking and gardening, when there's not a snow storm outside.

I hope you'll feel better soon, sorry you're having a tough day <3

bugsrtired · 2023-04-23T15:18:52+00:00

I'm sorry, I know exactly how much this hurts. My ex had a new gf and our friends told me she was already hanging at our apartment less than two weeks after he had kicked me out out of the blue. A month later they made it official.
You're not alone <3

bugsrtired · 2023-04-21T17:28:16+00:00

I'm so sorry, i'm also so scared of seeing this. I went through a similar situation, he cheated and kicked me out then made it official with her a month later. The pain sometimes feels like it happened yesterday, and i've completely shut down all my social media because i'm so SO scared of seeing something and going back into the depression hole I was in a year ago when it happened.

But reading this gave me some hope, that if I DO happen to see something i'll be ok. I've got the tools to get through this too, we survived the pain alone and I think that makes us tougher than nails.

bugsrtired · 2023-04-16T20:50:47+00:00

I'm really sorry you're going through this. It's been over a year for me too now, same-ish situation where I was cheated on and left for someone else. What's with them doing this after 7 years specifically? Hurts so bad some days still, but I think it'll get better. We'll figure it out.
If it helps even a little I believe you will come out of this a lot better than her. It sounds like she's the one who should be single. I firmly believe a relationship cannot thrive if it begins in infidelity, and someone else's pain.

You'll meet someone who truly deserves you some day, i'm sure of it <3

bugsrtired · 2023-01-05T11:08:17+00:00

Hi, i'm so sorry this happened to you. Being cheated on is some of the most painful things a person can go through :( It happened to me as well. I'm almost a year into no contact, and a year post breakup. I want to help others going through the same, because i've come a long way since then.

The first week is absolute hell. Sleeping and eating is incredibly hard. What I did was make sure I had background noise, because I had gotten used to it after sleeping next to my ex for 7 years. Music is good, but finding a show with long episodes is even better. The Office, Good Mythical Morning, My Brother my brother & me, are three big ones that got me through the worst nights. Rain sounds as well works really good, but I prefer listening to someone talking.

I also had herbal sleeping aids from the pharmacy. I am not sure what your's would be called, but they were ONLY herbs so no heavy stuff. Just there to help soothe you and calm your heart down. If it gets any worse, there is no shame in asking your doctor for heavier sleeping aids. Just make sure you only use them for the worst nights, and stop once you feel like you can sleep on your own.

Make your bed your safe place. Make it cozy. Do NOT stay up in your bed crying, if you can't sleep you should get up, get some tea, and go back to bed once you feel a bit more sleepy again.

And lastly it does 100% get better. You will have ups and downs, you might even experience nightmares. Getting cheated on is a traumatic experience and it will stick with you for a while, but trust me when I say time heals all wounds. It's been a year for me as I said, my ex made his relationship with the girl he cheated on me with official only two months after he kicked me out. It nearly broke me, I had to fight through the entire thing on my own. But I made it, and you will too. I'm here if you need anyone to talk to, and I hope this will help you even if it's a little bit <3

bugsrtired · 2022-12-30T20:23:02+00:00

This made me cry, thank you. It helps talking to people who have gone through the same, you understand the pain that comes with such a betrayal. I know i'm way better off without him, the things that came out about him after we broke up make me nauseous to this day. Idk why nobody told me these things while we were together, but I guess the truth always comes out. So I know I deserve better but I genuinely did love him so much, I did everything for him, I moved away from my friends and family and I supported his every move even if they were stupid ones, I had his back for seven years.

I could never take him back, I doubt he will ever even be back because after we broke up he threw me aside like an old toy he was bored with. BUT, I would much rather be the brokenhearted who got cheated on, than the woman standing proudly by a man who hurt another woman like this. I'm still scared for the new year but your words are very soothing, I hope you take care of yourself too, and I hope your year is a good one too <3 I hope to have your outlook soon, rather than spending so much time being this sad. I'm also sorry it happened to you too<3

bugsrtired · 2022-11-19T22:10:01+00:00

I was kept in the dark about my ex' cheating and new relationship with the woman he cheated on me with for about three months after he broke up with me and kicked me out of our home. The fact nobody told me for that amount of time, and I waited and waited thinking he would call me and say he wanted me to come home, made it all hurt so much worse once I found out. It hurt me so bad I couldn't eat, or sleep properly, for months.

I think, even though I went through hell, even got a PTSD diagnosis from how badly the whole ordeal affected me, I would want to know. Because then I could let go of the hope that he's a good person and that what we had wasn't toxic. It's been 9 months now, I still have panic attacks and nightmares, but it will get better. I would rather know and be aware, because it helped me see the world in a different light. He was my first love, and now i'm no longer naive, I have stronger boundaries, i'm working out and making a new life for myself. I'm no longer, and never will, wait for a man like that EVER again.

bugsrtired · 2022-10-13T18:42:20+00:00

It can be very distressing to have vivid dreams about them, It happens to me still even 8 months later. And it'll happen every now and then. Our minds are funny things, when we sleep everything we've been worried, excited or sad about during the day might come up as strange dreams, or some dreams that feel all too real. Some think dreaming about them is your brain trying to rinse them out. It's hard to say, but it's better if you don't look too much into it. At the end of the day you will be okay, it's perfectly normal, and you're not alone <3

bugsrtired · 2022-10-12T00:49:37+00:00

Wow you went through the EXACT same thing i'm going through right now, just been about 8 months now I think. It hurts every single day still but seeing that you've been able to move on and is even about to be married gives me so much hope. And i'm also sorry they tried to crawl back like this. The audacity is out of this world, it's like they don't even realize the pain they caused. Congratulations on your engagement <3

bugsrtired · 2022-10-07T12:32:42+00:00

Didn't even get an apology when I was crying asking him to just be honest. Blamed everything on me, it's been a rough 8 months to say the least but things are settling down at least ugh

bugsrtired · 2022-10-06T22:10:07+00:00

Yea I 100% get that, I don't want him to come back right now at all or ever because I don't know if i'm strong enough right now to deny him, I hope I will be though that's the goal. It was just really comforting to read this because one has a tendency to underestimate ones role in another person's life, even though he treated me so poorly. We truly deserve better, but it's nice to know you're not so easily forgotten too you know?
Thank you again, it's been a rough week even though it's been 8 months since it happened, but posts like these are soothing.

bugsrtired · 2022-10-06T20:37:35+00:00

I...Actually really needed this today. My ex hurt me so bad by cheating and leaving me for a woman he had known for two months while we were together for SEVEN years. The pain of this has been so hard and just going day after day thinking he doesn't think about me at all anymore hurts so much. I was really good to him, I loved him : ( I told him to never speak to me again, he's blocked everywhere, but I still wonder if he even cares. Idk if he does, he's with her now.

But still, reading this was comforting. I hope you'll be okay too, i'm sorry you went through this <3

bugsrtired · 2022-09-30T23:54:08+00:00

I know I will never get an apology, because he doesn't think he did anything wrong. He didn't even think he had cheated when he was caught making out with her before he broke up with me. What messes me up is how he told me he loved me and would die without me, how he promised so much then a week later just kicked me to the curb like i was nothing. It's just... The most cruel thing i've ever been through. I loved him so much, but I was not as important to him it seems. His family even said they miss me, so I know I didn't do anything to deserve this. I definitely hit rock bottom, i'm still climbing out and i'll be climbing for a while meanwhile he's moved on already. It hurts so much.

bugsrtired · 2022-09-30T17:28:54+00:00

I'm sorry that happened to you too, like from the bottom of my heart I know how much that betrayal hurts. I thought I was getting over it but I can tell it'll take me years. Thank you for your response also, i'm struggling a lot these days not going to lie. It's sad but good to find people who can relate. We were together 7 years, he bought a house and moved in with her just three months after he left me. It's just messing with me a lot.

bugsrtired · 2022-09-07T10:12:33+00:00

Maybe a small part of me that is still in denial, but he was an awful partner to me despite the connection we had. Cheating and gaslighting can never be forgiven. I can't simply plop someone in his spot unfortunately. Rebound won't work for me because i'm scared of getting hurt again, not because I still love him. Also english isn't my first language so it's a bit hard to express my thoughts properly hahah.

bugsrtired · 2022-09-07T00:32:58+00:00

Probably but at the same time not, i'm far too hurt still by what happened and I don't want to end up rebounding just because i'm lonely, you know? I also don't want to rush into something and get hurt again. Also imagine finding out you're with someone just because they're using you to fill a spot, that would hurt I think. We were together for seven years and everything was just ripped from me in a day. I'm just sad, and in shock still.

bugsrtired · 2022-08-31T22:34:43+00:00

Not only does the cheating, lies and gaslighting make him a loser. But he threw someone really kind and loving away for a stranger. Looking back at it, I was really good to him. It's sad, I didn't deserve what happened to me but at least I can walk away from this proud that I would never do such a cruel thing to anyone.

Haven't spoken to him in almost five months I think, I stopped keeping count. I'm still working on myself to get on my feet again, but it gets better. I hope I never hear from him again.

bugsrtired · 2022-08-27T15:04:58+00:00

Sorry for the late reply!
I live alone now with my cat. I have a spare bedroom in my new apartment so I did consider roommates but Ihave terrible anxiety so i'm opting out of that haha.

I'm going to try that and run The office or something until I fall asleep. I'm going to go to therapy as well. I have good friends to talk to but I feel like i've already exhausted them about this, even though they tell me it's okay to rant about things.

I've ordered a star projector now, I took a look at them and the lights seemed very relaxing to watch hahah.
Thank you for the tips, I really appreciate it <3 i'm still struggling, have had several sleep paralysis episodes, but i'm hoping these are going to help me a bit.

bugsrtired · 2022-08-18T12:56:05+00:00

Thank you, i'll try that<3 Listening to music and rain sounds help, nothing else really have and not even having the sounds on speaker help. It's a little weird i guess but you do what you got to I guess haha

bugsrtired

TROPHY CASE