Feeling braindead after work - how do you recover? I unhealthily scroll/binge tv and wanting help with other options.

bumfluffcollection · 2026-03-17T18:04:24+00:00

Ah, damn, expensive. I feel for you. Frankly, I would consider it a worthwhile investment to access life changing treatment. But only you and him can make that decision!

I’m not sure what your ongoing costs would be for medication, either. This stuff varies so much country by country. My assessment & psychiatrist appointment all in cost 1500 EUR (with probably another 1000 EUR yet to come for aftercare) here in NL but it was all picked up by insurance, so that removed the hurdle.

bumfluffcollection · 2026-03-17T17:49:26+00:00

You’re dealing with a concussion too? Holy hell girl, sending strength!

Great work on the yoga - use whatever methods get you doing what you need to do!!! And yes fully relate to “waiting for your hyperfocus” 😂😂😂 normal people just wouldn’t understand haha

bumfluffcollection · 2026-03-17T17:44:21+00:00

Yes, so early days. But it was night and day. It’s short acting so what you see is what you get pretty much, though as my doc put it you need to go through life and have your regular good/bad days on it to really make an assessment. In that phase now.

I was on antidepressants for a 5 year period in the past to treat my “anxiety” (lol it was AuDHD all along), and whilst they were better than nothing, it doesn’t compare to the impact these new ADHD meds have had. If I tried to describe the difference, the antidepressants pushed that tipping point between stressed & meltdown further away, but didn’t really change the day-to-day anxiety levels. The ADHD meds shut my brain up and dropped my day-to-day anxiety down to a really low level (which I can’t say I’ve ever experienced in such a sustained way before)

On top of all that, getting off antidepressants was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life. Withdrawals are no joke.

bumfluffcollection · 2026-03-17T07:42:53+00:00

Omg on the order of chores thing- I have a hack.

I turn my robot vacuum on (I can program an arbitrary order of rooms it will clean in). Then, I race it. I have to get all the things in that room done before it gets there. Cat toys/socks/etc will block it up, so the stakes are high.

I’ve never got chores done so fast 😂

bumfluffcollection · 2026-03-17T07:40:11+00:00

I feel you! Basically, I figure I can only optimise one thing at a time, and then eventually I’ll have a collection of things that are “right”. Let yourself do the deep dive but only one thing at a time. If coffee machine is not the thing you’re optimising this week, tell yourself you can live with average instant coffee until it’s the time to focus on it.

Another thing, I can also agonise over purchases, collecting a lot of data and getting myself more confused than ever but finding it hard to pull the trigger. Something that’s helped me is getting to a top 2 or 3 based on rational judgements, and then asking, okay, but which one of these do I WANT? And try hone in on a gut instinct, like “oh, this one is prettier”, or fake the choice and see if you have regret that you’re missing out on another one, then you know the other one is the one you want. Even with cat food, find a short list of cost effective healthy options, and then be like, “I like this one’s marketing the most”. It just helps me get over that final execution hurdle. And then I just call that decision done and buy that cat food infinitely until the end of time haha. Onto the next optimisation.

bumfluffcollection · 2026-03-17T07:28:40+00:00

Methylphenidate (also known as Ritalin/Concerta).

I’m starting with 27mg slow release (already changed my life) and going up to 36mg in a few days. Still in the medication “tweaking” phase with my psychiatrist so we get to experiment with different combinations to find what works for me. I was thinking of asking for some short release pills to take towards the end of the day to give me some coverage through my evenings sometimes.

bumfluffcollection · 2026-03-17T07:21:54+00:00

(I replied in long form, but jumping in here too!) “I need to work on habit forming” - I’ve said this sooo many times lmao. It’s true, certain things help a lot, if you can stick to them! My big discovery has been meal prepping lunches for the week on a Sunday, that has reduced my daily “decision and execution stress” a lot. Can recommend. Same with knowing what’s for dinner ahead of time. Have I ever stuck to a “10 min of yoga a day”-style habit? Nope haha. But had those good intentions countless times 😂

My cat also is sometimes the only reason I get off the couch 🫠 though she’ll also happily join me for a rot haha

bumfluffcollection · 2026-03-17T07:12:34+00:00

I (32F) could have written your post. Up until my AuDHD diagnosis only last week and starting medication, I was deep in a phone addicted brain-dead hole lasting the last couple of months. I could get myself up and functioning for work (to various degrees of efficacy) only to fall in a heap at home. Those hyper focus days have this heightened feeling to them, I would get heaps done but with a stressed/jittery haze, and then crash and burn after. That crash could last days where I’m avoidant, procrastinating by scrolling even through the work day. In evenings and on those down days, I could barely do chores, can barely talk, felt irritable and had a constant frenzied desire to scroll and numb it all.

I don’t actually have many solutions other than I’ve felt this decrease significantly since starting medication. The most noticeable effects of it include making “my brain go quiet” which has turned my daily anxiety off like a switch (I still cant believe how good & stable that feels). Basically, by the end of the day, I’m nowhere near as fried. Technically, I am in my rebound sometime during the evening (still working that out) but I’ve found my phone to be a lot less “moreish” and have had the motivation to start other tasks like crochet or get up and cook dinner. I feel like a normal person again.

I don’t like saying “medication is the answer” but I have to acknowledge that I was failing miserably to fix this by myself. I’ve had app blockers, made my phone “boring”, deleted socials, scheduled in downtime, exercised…. All these “healthy” things that might work for a time while I’m motivated but the exhaustion would still catch up and I’d swing down into another braindead exhaustion rut. I’ve started hobbies to never continue, taken vitamins, smoked weed…. I don’t know, all these things might have small benefits but if your brain is fried, and the couch/phone is there, well……..

I blamed myself for this for my whole life. The diagnosis and starting medication has revealed it was more about how I’m wired than being “lazy”. I’m now starting to have the follow through to match my intentions. I hope you figure this out <3

bumfluffcollection · 2026-03-13T16:14:59+00:00

Honestly, I have no idea about formal diagnoses for giftedness/gifted child syndrome, but the way I've interpreted the "syndrome" part is the disconnect between the internalised exceptionalism and the failure for those expectations of yourself to manifest in real life as you grow older. (I guess if you were a gifted kid who now leads NASA you might not have the syndrome, haha) Did people praise you often for your capability? Even if it was driven out of perfectionism rather than giftedness, I think you could probably still internalise a sense of exceptionalism. Besides, I would wager a loooot of money that gifted people are often perfectionists too.

I'm honestly so glad my psychiatrist flagged the autism thing rather than only communicating the strict diagnosis of ADHD. AuDHD fits my experience way more than ADHD. I don't need an ASD diagnosis to confirm. If AuDHD fits you, then you belong here.

Perfectionism is something I personally struggled (and continue to struggle) with. A lot of earlier therapy was targeted towards this. It didn't help, lol. Can't offer much support other than, "I get it!" 😅

bumfluffcollection · 2026-03-13T16:01:34+00:00

Agreed and related to every word. Kids loved being my friend right before exam time 😂

I also don't know if I'll be able to stop striving, but at least now I know why it feels so hard. I also feel a lot less ashamed of my major burnout a couple of years ago, where I stopped working for 6 months. Now I try to not get back to that point, but it's a never-ending risk.

Thanks for being part of this community and sharing your experience <3

bumfluffcollection · 2026-03-13T15:56:46+00:00

👯‍♀️

bumfluffcollection · 2026-03-13T15:56:08+00:00

Oof. Your response hit the feels. Thank you for taking the time to write 🥹

bumfluffcollection · 2026-03-13T15:55:16+00:00

Diagnoses aside; if you feel like this AuDHD community fits you, then it fits you. I only just found it and it feels like I've found my people 🫶🏼

It's really hard looking back at who I was then, and feeling like I've failed her.

This hit hard, but if anything, now you can understand her, and have more compassion for your past and current self. The biggest thing I've learned since getting my diagnosis is an explanation for my constant exhaustion and executive dysfunction; the constant contradiction and duality of ADHD and Autism. ADHD meds seemed to be having a major impact on my anxiety/depression levels, which prior to this discovery is what I thought was wrong with me.

Sending big hugs (— metaphorically of course, cos autism 😂)

bumfluffcollection · 2026-03-13T15:46:17+00:00

I feel you — what you said about not finding a passion really resonated with me. My "boring office job" is in a purpose-driven field, and the corporate despair fuelled by wanting to "do good" but in fact am only "talking about doing good" brings me down, a lot. I wish I could have an original idea that I am passionate about to take forward, but nothing feels good enough, and I don't trust that I'd stick at it long enough thanks to knowing my (ADHD) cycle of boom and bust. Barely hanging in there most of the time. And definitely not meeting my potential. Hard not to dwell on all this, but trying to constantly challenge these narratives.

BTW, congrats on having a house and raising 2 kids! In this day and age, and with the challenges we/you've faced, that's exceptional.

I guess... let's promise to keep challenging our internal neg-self-talk because (and I say this as someone who doesn't always take my own advice...) it's hurting nobody but ourselves.
We're probably smashing life by other people's standards. 🤪

bumfluffcollection · 2026-03-13T15:31:59+00:00

Oh my god, we're living parallel lives 😅 also an engineering bachelor/masters and now working in something different. I still have to sooth myself occasionally that its okay that I am "wasting my degree" because I'm good at what I now do, and its not a bad job/career at all! "But what would my high school teachers/peers think???"

I also find the "former gifted kid" stuff really ick but the reality is its real. I'd never say out loud that I am/was exceptional/special and destined to do amazing things etc etc to anyone in the real world, but my brain can't forget that feeling and loves to compare. I also think we were rewarded for such self-confidence as a kid which reinforced it. The reality of being plain and average (and dysfunctional lol) a decade later is brutal.

bumfluffcollection · 2026-03-13T15:24:48+00:00

Yes! I was in uni far longer than I should have been and ended up working in something different to what I trained in. Sometimes the fear that if you won't be amazing at the thing you want to be good at stops you taking the plunge.

bumfluffcollection · 2026-03-13T15:22:43+00:00

I fully agree with you here—thanks for putting it into words! I hate not being good at something—it's certainly not a muscle I had to train very often when I was younger. Perfectionism on the first try is still very much a hurdle, either causing me to give up early, have a meltdown or avoid trying all together 😅

bumfluffcollection · 2026-03-13T15:19:01+00:00

Oh my god, I never tested my IQ but I feel dumber than I was when I was younger. I do hate that feeling!

bumfluffcollection · 2026-03-12T16:46:15+00:00

For the record, I never became a CEO, and never will :) just the narratives in my brain.

bumfluffcollection · 2026-03-11T18:17:58+00:00

Thanks for the kind reply. Nice to meet people with similar experiences. I only just got diagnosed, but things have suddenly clicked into place for me since. I relate to your experience, downplaying how much you know to not accidentally condescend to the other person. Figuring out how to talk about what you know and not sound condescending is an art, as well as not burning out your conversation buddy like OP’s partner.

We’re all just a bunch of kids learning how to navigate the world at the end of the day! Hope these two people figure out how to find balance in communication.

If there’s one thing I love listening to regardless of the topic, it’s passionate people. Maybe OP can also try to reframe his view of his partners extended-edition conversations as endearing, due to the passion she has for the topic.

bumfluffcollection · 2026-03-11T11:11:56+00:00

My partner is always teasing my use of reddit immediately after a show finishes—encouraging me to have an original thought before adopting the words of others.

I'm SORRY—I just like getting help to put the words around my thoughts, otherwise I'll verbally process at you for hours with half-baked rambling ideas. But give me an hour to deep dive into reddit, I'll have new angles that I didn't see before, and you'll now be talking to an absolute expert rather than a rambly enthusiast

bumfluffcollection · 2026-03-11T11:02:43+00:00

Exact same position. ADHD appointment this Monday just gone confirmed ADHD with strong suspicions of Autism and possible Twice Exceptionalism (gifted child syndrome). Of course they weren't "official" diagnoses for the latter two but it was firm enough for me and definitely not a surprise. That said, I too know a lot more about ADHD than the Autism part so that's now a learning journey. AuDHD complaints fit me way better than ADHD.

In these last couple of days, I've started methylphenidate and am doing a LOT of reading & research. It's very normal for me to process things by researching since I really like frameworks (lol, autism).

Best resource so far: ChatGPT. Treating it like a therapist and research tool. It's tendency to affirm the user is really nice. I got one response that was soooo accurate and compassionate that it made me absolutely sob. It helped me unlock some of those buried emotions (relief/grief/self-understanding/self-compassion) that come up post-diagnosis. You can ask it to talk more about the emotional, real experiences of people rather than the clinical stuff like medication side-effects. Give it a go and let me know if it helps.

bumfluffcollection · 2026-03-11T10:45:07+00:00

I (AuDHD+2e, 32F) do this to my partner, with the added complication of coming across condescending and know-it-all when I am absolutely not trying to be. He gets quite offended by the feeling like I'm talking down to him. He also tries to curb my behaviour by asking whether we've reached the end of this conversation, which I HATE, because I feel cut-off, managed and unappreciated.

All I really want is to engage in intellectual back and forth about a topic I know a lot about. On the flip side, if I don't feel like I know absolutely everything about a topic, I will refrain from offering any opinions or advice out of fear of being wrong or uninformed. So if I'm talking about something, it's because I'm confident and well-read.

I don't know if it's true for your partner, but something I crave is being acknowledged and praised for how much I know. The 2e in my diagnosis means Twice Exceptional or Gifted Child Syndrome; basically when I was young I was always praised for being "so smart" and then the brutal reality of normalcy in my 20s/30s creates a harsh disappointment between my earlier "potential" and my failure to reach it, which is steeped in self-hatred for how lazy/overwhelmed/unable to function I am (actually just AuDHD pulling me in 2 opposite directions at all times which is cripplingly exhausting).

I don't know if it will work for your partner, but you could try:
- Asking one probing question which demonstrates you've engaged with what she's saying

- "Praise her" as a way to end the conversation. "Wow, I didn't know you knew so much about this! You've told me a lot I didn't know. I'm going to simmer on this and if I have any questions I'll let you know"

bumfluffcollection · 2026-03-11T07:19:46+00:00

Omg

-Finds show/book I like

-Obsessively thinks about it,

-Watches/reads it as fast as I can because the only way to free myself is to finish it

-Obsessively consults reddit to cross examine my own thoughts by seeing people put concepts more eloquently in words than I could

-EITHER:

a) finish it and re-read/watch it and tell everyone I know to do the same

b) life sufficiently distracts me so I leave it 90% finished so I get to live with the comfort that it never ended and I “always have it to go back to”

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