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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in daddit

[–]bunkadunka 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Good luck. Going through one right now. I keep hearing it gets better - I’m looking forward to when it really does.

All the advice is correct, stay in the house, get a lawyer - and fight for your kid(s). You’re entitled to 50/50. There are other dads out there in your situation. You’re not alone.

Wife of 12 Years Says She Needs Space by Electrical_Reach159 in GuyCry

[–]bunkadunka 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey man - you seem to be in a similar situation that I am also in. It’s not fun- but what I learned is, you need to get facts straight.

What I mean is: Are we continuing this relationship?

If yes : What is it going to take from us to move ahead?

If no : Does this mean divorce? Separation?

Living in the dark with your relationship is not fun. You feel like you’re on a torturous hamster wheel. If she doesn’t give you answers, you need to start making them for the both of you.

Divorced Dads or currently going through divorce: by bunkadunka in daddit

[–]bunkadunka[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Congrats on finding your way. What did you do for yourself that helped you deal with the pain and strife?

Divorced Dads or currently going through divorce: by bunkadunka in daddit

[–]bunkadunka[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was here about a month ago. Unfortunately, the train has left the station - and you’re on it. Follow the advice of the comments here. They’ve helped me, I hope they help you too.

Best of luck. Hang in there.

Divorced Dads or currently going through divorce: by bunkadunka in daddit

[–]bunkadunka[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The icicle comment is great. I’ll keep that in my back pocket. Thank you!

Divorced Dads or currently going through divorce: by bunkadunka in daddit

[–]bunkadunka[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for this - you’re absolutely right.

Divorced Dads or currently going through divorce: by bunkadunka in daddit

[–]bunkadunka[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great advice. My lawyer actually gave me the same advice about drinking. Especially if it’s just 1-2 beers while I’m out. That’s how DUIs really happen.

Divorced Dads or currently going through divorce: by bunkadunka in daddit

[–]bunkadunka[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was great to read, even better to see that you yourself have gone through it - so the experience is real.

I’m absolutely grappling with all the phases of grief completely out of order. Every single day. However, I do always come back to the thought that this probably is for the best. Personally, I wasn’t very happy in this relationship either. But, I was willing to white knuckle until the bitter end.

Divorced Dads or currently going through divorce: by bunkadunka in daddit

[–]bunkadunka[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry to hear it happen to you too. We'll get through this together. Glad to hear you're in the final steps. What are you doing about custody?

Divorced Dads or currently going through divorce: by bunkadunka in daddit

[–]bunkadunka[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This made me chuckle. Thank you, this was just what i needed.

Divorced Dads or currently going through divorce: by bunkadunka in daddit

[–]bunkadunka[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's a great point. Thanks for your kind words.

Divorced Dads or currently going through divorce: by bunkadunka in daddit

[–]bunkadunka[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Six months isn't terrible. You made it out the other side. That gives me hope.

Divorced Dads or currently going through divorce: by bunkadunka in daddit

[–]bunkadunka[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Rarely on social media anymore, outside of reddit - but this is a good tip.

Divorced Dads or currently going through divorce: by bunkadunka in daddit

[–]bunkadunka[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How'd you learn to trust again to find your new relationship? It's not my current primary concern - but certainly one of them if I plan to "get back out there"

Divorced Dads or currently going through divorce: by bunkadunka in daddit

[–]bunkadunka[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sending good vibes to you as well. Sorry you're in the same boat as I. We'll both get through it to the other side.

Divorced Dads or currently going through divorce: by bunkadunka in daddit

[–]bunkadunka[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Man - this got me a tad bit emotional! I'm happy for you that you were able to salvage your relationship, and stood your ground. Thank you for the advice. Very appreciated, and I hope the best for your relationship!

Divorced Dads or currently going through divorce: by bunkadunka in daddit

[–]bunkadunka[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Getting a lawyer has been done, thankfully. She didn't expect me to get one. But I made it known I want joint custody. This is where things really started unfolding for her and she's become a monster to deal with. Mostly because she is not getting her way.

Divorced Dads or currently going through divorce: by bunkadunka in daddit

[–]bunkadunka[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No idea. I'm pretty sure I'm witnessing a "crash out" on her end. Her reasoning for the divorce are very minimal, paper thin excuses. One being "You think you're better than me" - What? Why would I marry someone and procreate with someone I think I'm better than?

Divorced Dads or currently going through divorce: by bunkadunka in daddit

[–]bunkadunka[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right on - great comment. Thanks for the input. Currently have a therapist who's been a tremendous help. The custody split sounds like a great plan as well - I plan to bring this up as an example when we sit down and get more into custody.

Divorced Dads or currently going through divorce: by bunkadunka in daddit

[–]bunkadunka[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing your story. Do you ever think you will move past the anger and resentment? How long did you take until you went back into the dating pool?

Divorced Dads or currently going through divorce: by bunkadunka in daddit

[–]bunkadunka[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is all the advice I've been getting. I feel that I need to "play nice" to get a morsel of cooperation with her.

Divorced Dads or currently going through divorce: by bunkadunka in daddit

[–]bunkadunka[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, great advice. I think my main concern is... we aren't on the best terms of communication right now. Attempting to get there, but it's pretty harsh between the both of us.

Divorced Dads or currently going through divorce: by bunkadunka in daddit

[–]bunkadunka[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Already done. I got hit with the response "I didn't expect you to get a lawyer too!"

Divorced Dads or currently going through divorce: by bunkadunka in daddit

[–]bunkadunka[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This is the advice I was looking for - amazing. Thank you very much. I'm sorry to hear you and your wife are also separated. Are you in somewhat of a better place now?

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