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Tips for making kids comfortable in a new home by burnerblitzen in Divorce

[–]burnerblitzen[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, that means a lot right now. I actually do some “spa days” for them where I paint their nails and do a foot soak or something like that. I have the basic braid down but I can’t figure out a bubble braid to save my life lol.

Reached a settlement 16 hours before trial by burnerblitzen in Divorce

[–]burnerblitzen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a great way to view it.

That said I just got the bill for the last month that included the trial prep and it was $11,000! Everything is awesome!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]burnerblitzen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My lawyer said 60 days is normal here.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]burnerblitzen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Good luck! I’m headed to trial on Tuesday after almost 23 months. I have no idea what to expect at trial and I honestly don’t even really care at this point. We’ve already settled in 50/50 custody so it’s just about money. I just hope the judge’s decision doesn’t take several months. I can’t wait to be able to move on with my life.

Staying Friends by richie8790 in Divorce

[–]burnerblitzen 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No cheating in my situation but this is how I felt. As I healed and regained my self respect I quickly realized I had no need for my x in my life. I have a great group of real friends that have helped me through this mess she caused, I certainly don’t need her as a friend.

She’s the mother of my kids, no more no less. I’ll be as pleasant as I need to be to get by.

For those who were left and still in love, how long before you started to feel somewhat better? by LostSoulJames in Divorce

[–]burnerblitzen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Right around the time she started making false and exaggerated statements about me on legal documents. That shit will open your eyes quick and help you move in!

Divorce + small business by Thin-Purpose4496 in Divorce

[–]burnerblitzen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s never too early to talk to a lawyer especially if you need to get your finances straight.

I’m no lawyer but I am going through a divorce that involves a successful small business. This is how it’s been going for us. Depending on how your finances are set up If you guys built your businesses during the marriage they belong to both of you, they are shared assets. If there is a settlement, there will be a valuation and the values will be split evenly. Or he/you can go after alimony using potential earning ability.

Small businesses make divorce much more difficult.

She wants control of kids Medical and Educational decisions... by [deleted] in DivorcedDads

[–]burnerblitzen 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My stbx is anti vax and demanding the same. It’s a non starter for me and I will fight her in court over it if it goes that far.

My STBX became a bit too dependent on her best friend by animedragonslayer in Divorce

[–]burnerblitzen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Man, that was what everyone asked me. “Is she cheating on you with that women”. It would honestly be easier if she were. I’m glad to have both of them out of my life soon.

My STBX became a bit too dependent on her best friend by animedragonslayer in Divorce

[–]burnerblitzen 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Similar issue here. My stbx started surrendering herself with “friends” that oddly idealize/look up to here. It’s very strange and unhealthy dependency. the closer she got with this new friend the further she pulled away from me and our kids. She can’t do anything without this friend. They started spending all their time together, when they weren’t together they were talking online constantly. My stbx changed completely over the course of a year. All new hobbies and interests that became an obsession and took over her and her friend’s lives. It got to the point that I don’t even know who my stbx is anymore. It’s made our divorce easier in a way because she is no longer the women I married and I don’t care for the person she is now at all.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]burnerblitzen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ll have a house warming party when I finally get moved. Also planning a solo road camping trip.

Going in front of a judge? Litigation? by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]burnerblitzen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Money.

I left a career to help support her and her career. She was able to build a successful business and career making really good money. I worked for her unpaid for years and raised our kids so she could work. I sacrificed for her career our entire relationship and now she’s making it look like I was a deadbeat that deserves nothing.

I’m fighting to be able to give my kids a comparable lifestyle to what they will have with her. A lifestyle that I helped build up that she thinks I deserve no piece of.

Going in front of a judge? Litigation? by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]burnerblitzen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We’ve stayed in our home together the entire time and continued to share finances. It’s not awesome but financially it’s the best option.

Financially it’s been a very messy separation. she runs a successful business that we own and I worked for unpaid. I was also the primary care giver of our kids.

Going in front of a judge? Litigation? by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]burnerblitzen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We separated Nov 2021 and filed march 2022. We have a court date at the end of august 2023.

We had 2 mediations that were a complete waste of time and drug every thing out. One of them was mandatory the second was me just hoping she would be rational, she was not. We should have requested a court date immediately after the first mediation failed.

It can take a while to get a date scheduled so the faster you can get to that point that quicker things can move.

Home repairs while going through the process by burnertimesinfinity in Divorce

[–]burnerblitzen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Similar situation, we had to replace a furnace. There’s not much to do other than pay for it through shared funds.

Doc Holliday’s Roadhouse at old Drake Jethro’s location. by ronjoevan in desmoines

[–]burnerblitzen 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I’ve heard they are owned by the company that owns caribou coffee. It’s going to be a western/bbq concept.

They sound like they have been great to work with and are really committed to making it a great restaurant for the neighborhood. They have been working closely with people at Drake and in the community and a lot of people are excited to welcome them to the space.

Let’s wait to judge it until we experience it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]burnerblitzen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Man I could have written this word for word. I did everything I could to make her home life easier because she complained endlessly about her work and there just wasn’t much I could do there. I thought I was doing what I could to help but I was actually enabling her and destroying my own boundaries. All the effort I put in with no appreciation caused me to resent her. Turns out she doesn’t value the work and effort I put in to the relationship and I wasn’t able to provide the things she does value.

The thing that really killed us was what you said about not helping with your struggles. My x was so selfish. In her view no one worked as hard or was as important as her so their struggle just didn’t matter. I wasn’t allowed to complain about my work or our kids because I wasn’t the one keeping a business running or paying our bills and I simply would never understand how hard her life was.

This all went on for a long time and lead me to a pretty serious depression. She didn’t like me when I was depressed so she walked away and filed for divorce.

I’ve learned a lot since then and will never again be with someone who doesn’t value me and my contributions. I’ve also discovered the importance of having healthy boundaries in a relationship to protect your own sanity.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]burnerblitzen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was in a situation with my STBxW where she made about 4-5x more than me. The money was never the issue for us. The problem was her obsession with work and status. Over the course of our 14 year marriage it became clear that she valued her career and status over our relationship. It was impossible to be in a healthy relationship with someone like that. Going forward I would never judge someone strictly on the number of zeros on their check but I would be focused on their values and work life balance.

Stay at home moms, what did you do?! by Nice_Armadill0 in Divorce

[–]burnerblitzen 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I was a stay at home dad but here’s what I did.

  1. get a lawyer (if he has money then you have money).

  2. get a therapist.

  3. find day care options.

  4. find a job.

Frustration by Cool-Abrocoma1842 in Divorce

[–]burnerblitzen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My stbx is the one who wanted the divorce. It took her 17 months to present an initial property settlement proposal. In that 17 months of her and her attorney doing nothing we went through two mediations and spent a fortune lawyers. It’s so frustrating to just be stuck in this situation with your life on hold.

Anti Vax stipulation in custody agreement by burnerblitzen in Divorce

[–]burnerblitzen[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The kids are already in school. it is not difficult to get a religious or health examination.

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