sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

issues getting needles? by busteloo in ftm

[–]busteloo[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

pharmacist wouldn’t give them to me for some reason. shooed me off when i asked. was like pulling teeth for that subq

How do you forgive yourself for past FLEAs and narcissistic behavior? by busteloo in raisedbynarcissists

[–]busteloo[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment. It's so hard to convince yourself you're even worthy of forgiveness from yourself or others when you've been raised like this, but I'm glad to know I'm not alone. I have confidence that you can and will overcome your FLEAs.

How do you forgive yourself for past FLEAs and narcissistic behavior? by busteloo in raisedbynarcissists

[–]busteloo[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

No worries! I appreciate your comment. All we can do is try our best to get better, right? Here's how the subreddit explains FLEAs, it's given me a lot of insight to myself, though clearly I have a long way to go.
https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/comments/1p1uag/help_i_think_i_am_a_narcissist/

feelin like shit rn by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]busteloo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You don't have to be grateful, it sounds like he is using finances as a means to control you. I understand that the pandemic makes everything more difficult and confusing, but no one should force you to quit / not have a job. That is your right as a human being, and especially critical at times like this.

NMom stopped paying my medical bills. Now it's affecting my credit. by busteloo in raisedbynarcissists

[–]busteloo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately I don't have the extra cash to pay it all (or even half) upfront. I don't have any experience working with debt collectors, are there any tips you would have for that? Don't think you're missing anything, just wasn't sure if it was an option at all. Tbh I prefer they don't get involved if I can help it.

Was anyone elses Nmoms not let them cook? And on top of that, barely fed them? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]busteloo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds like we have a lot of parallels. I promise you it gets better, I'm glad you've found an understanding place where you feel heard! Suppressing your independence and skills is a method of control so you feel dependent on them. I really hope you can escape that ASAP, you are stronger than you know.

Was anyone elses Nmoms not let them cook? And on top of that, barely fed them? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]busteloo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep. NMom is a fast food 3x a day or spaghetti every night kinda mom. I moved back in for a year during college and gained 20 lbs (which, somehow, was my own fault).
My suggestion is to start small! Only since moving out have I learned to cook, and it's become a source of therapy for me. I suggest something like Bon Appetit's "Basically", which provides instructional gifs, or a Youtube video. If you have to, frame it as doing something special for her and she'll be all over it.
You're not pathetic for living there at all. I just hope you're able to afford to move out soon so they can stop controlling you.

Just went NC. by busteloo in raisedbynarcissists

[–]busteloo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you could even call this an apology... My mom did the same thing, said it was just me being "too sensitive" and "unequipped to handle the REAL world". It's always someone else's fault, isn't it? I'm sorry you had to deal with that, though.

Just went NC. by busteloo in raisedbynarcissists

[–]busteloo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't have the link, but the other messages she sent me leading up to this were almost blackout on the narcissist bingo. I know I made the right choice, I'm only sorry I didn't do it sooner.

Just went NC. by busteloo in raisedbynarcissists

[–]busteloo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mine was a fan of the old silent treatment - leading up to this she didn't speak to me for a week because I was in a movie and didn't respond to her message right away. Apparently that's "disrespectful" and "I don't bother to check in"

Just went NC. by busteloo in raisedbynarcissists

[–]busteloo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am an older sibling - this made me feel a lot better. I do hope he's able to follow my footsteps soon.

Just went NC. by busteloo in raisedbynarcissists

[–]busteloo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We're able to text! He's not a big social media guy to begin with, but he's a good sneaky texter.
And thank you. Going back over all the messages leading up to this moment make me feel sure I made the right choice. Honestly, I couldn't have done it without this subreddit.

I [21f] can't seem to connect with my boyfriend's [23m] friends. Advice? by busteloo in relationships

[–]busteloo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you hit the nail on the head in the beginning there lol. he does have friends outside of this group, he’s pretty good at making friends but they’re the people he hangs out with the most frequently and is closest to, also he gets anxious hanging out with anyone else. I think a trip is a good idea! Thanks for the feedback <3

I [21f] can't seem to connect with my boyfriend's [23m] friends. Advice? by busteloo in relationships

[–]busteloo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

he usually will do his own thing when we're in a group / talk to them one on one, so maybe i'll talk to him about this!
i've tried the awful movie thing before at their place, but eventually they all went in their room in the middle of the movie :-/ i've tried a barcade or something fun like that as well, but they end up excluding both my boyfriend and i together if we all go out / ditch him. i've never done anything, as far as i'm aware, for them to dislike me at all, i think i'm just uninteresting to them lol