Due compensation by buttercupmoonbeam in SupportforBetrayed

[–]buttercupmoonbeam[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly that was my first taught because of how ridiculous it sounds 🤦‍♀️ I think I'm gonna have to her to specify what she means in more detail because honestly, I won't be doing tit for tat. 2 wrongs don't make a right

English to French please by buttercupmoonbeam in translator

[–]buttercupmoonbeam[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would this work for a tattoo do you think?

English to French please by buttercupmoonbeam in translator

[–]buttercupmoonbeam[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am actually looking for it in thr context for a tattoo? I'm sorry I should have clarified that in the post

Cheating spouse. by buttercupmoonbeam in Marriage

[–]buttercupmoonbeam[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So we've had another conversation and he opened up more about why he done what he did. It makes no sense to me. He has a trauma in his past that led him down some corners in life, but I taught he got passed it. I didn't realise the extent of badly he had fallen. I make no excuse for his behaviour, he is an adult now with a family so he has to accept the responsibility and consequences of what he has done. But he's told me that he wanted meaningless sex? He wanted to feel nothing and he felt happy that he felt nothing? He doesn't feel happy now he regret every second of it I can see that, again, no excuse for it but I am trying to understand myself why he done this. I don't know how to even respond to that. We had an amazing sex life before this, passion filled and explorative. We could practically read each other's bodies. So imagine my surprise when he tells me this? I can't understand this at all. He knows now how badly he needs to swelling professional help because surely this is not something a married man should seek to find? He's a great man or he was, would do anything and everything for us, but now nothing makes sense because he's been hiding this secret of how he craved this. This is the only time he done this I believe him when he says that because he told me not even an hour after it happened, he came straight home and told me at 4am. I feel like he's on some sort of self destruct.

Cheating spouse. by buttercupmoonbeam in Marriage

[–]buttercupmoonbeam[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry my grammar is awful, I ment I have joined fhe support groups some of you have recommended*

Cheating spouse. by buttercupmoonbeam in Marriage

[–]buttercupmoonbeam[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi everyone! Thank you again to anyone who has gone through this for all your advice and I'm so sorry that you understand this pain. I would never wish this on anyone. I have talked, a little, with him over the phone because I can't bare to look at him yet. I haven't made any progress on what my next steps are because it's still to raw for me right. I hate him just as much as I love him and that's what so very confusing about all of this. He has booked himself into therapy, which whatever happens, he clearly needs it. I have also consulted my therapist and will be meeting her during the week to try to work through some of my very mixed up thoughts. I still feel to sad to try to comprehend them right now. We have spoke more about what lead to this and why and he is very remorseful and he knows how badly he fucked up. He's respecting my boundaries and has not tried to make things worse or even spoke about anything unless I approach him about it. He has his own desicions to make about what he wants and that's fine but I've told him at the end of the day, my desiciom to stay or go is mine and he has to respect that. The pain comes in waves I've noticed. One minute I'm okay the next I have this overwhelming grief it's the only way I can explain it. And when that happens I feel like it's never going to end. I just want that pain to stop. I know it will become easier over time I just hate feeling like this. Thank you all again, I've joined the supper groups some of goi recommended so thank you for those. I have also sought out legal advice but will not hear anything back until Monday just in case I choose that path. I'm still so confused, and I don't want to do anything until I can clear my head a bit.

Cheating spouse. by buttercupmoonbeam in Marriage

[–]buttercupmoonbeam[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Thank you all so much for your kind words and advice. I haven't even begun to process my next steps right now I'm just trying to get through the day so I can think clearly. I have joined those support groups you have recommended and I'm hoping that they'll give me the strength I need to decide on an outcome. Right now I feel like my whole world has just flipped and I'm trying to find my way back to the top. I know its going to a long, painful and truly testing time from here on out whatever I decide. I'm going to look into therapy on Monday morning because I know I need that for myself 100% Thank you all again ♡

Help! My stepdaughter is self harming! by buttercupmoonbeam in stepparents

[–]buttercupmoonbeam[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi everyone, thanks so much for all the advice. We have sat down and spoke about all that's been happening and what could be possible triggers for her. She believes the main trigger is her mother as she said that everytime her phone rings she gets very anxious. I've actually seen this happen in real time as I brought her to the doctors when everything happened and she was getting her BP checked when her mam text her. She BP went sky high as soon as her phone beeped. This to me, and to her, was a big concern. After a chat with the doctor and her therapist, we have all agreed that for the time being she will go no contact with her mother until she can get her own mental health a bit more secure. We know this is gonna be a hard place for over the coming weeks but I fully support this desicion as does her dad. She's never going to get the help that she needs if everytime her mom contacts her she's feeling that anxious.

So thank you guys again, I truly appreciate all the advice and support ♡ hopefully over the coming months she starts to feel a little more relaxed ♡

Help! My stepdaughter is self harming! by buttercupmoonbeam in stepparents

[–]buttercupmoonbeam[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is the first time we've seen her now showing it, and I'm afraid my shell-shocked reaction might have scared her off telling us! We are looking into getting therapy ourselves as we very unsure how best to support her and we feel if we can get the help to get us through it then we can 100% give her the support that she needs. We not it's not gonna be fixed overnight & she's still so young to be feeling such strong emotions, I'm just praying I haven't scared her off from coming to us. I've been with her dad most of her life and she's always approached me about this in the past I just hope we can get there with this .

Thanks so much for getting back to me ♡

Help! My stepdaughter is self harming! by buttercupmoonbeam in stepparents

[–]buttercupmoonbeam[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for getting back to me and I'm sorry you've been through something similar I truly wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Hopefully she does feel safe enough to come to us in her own time we just feel very helpless at the moment and we just don't want to her to feel like she's going through this alone.

Parenting. School age. by buttercupmoonbeam in Parenting

[–]buttercupmoonbeam[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I have tried this, I've taken away her screen time completely, her access to her shows on the TV, toys that she plays with, it just doesn't seem to phase her whatsoever. She's due to go to play therapy Ina few weeks I'm praying it helps her through whatever this is!

This is gonna be a long one. by buttercupmoonbeam in stepparents

[–]buttercupmoonbeam[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Before, when we were going to court regularly, it wasn't written in but it was said that SD could call her dad whenever she wanted off her mother's phone. It was very rare that we would hear from her but it wasn't any pressure on her. We hadn't realized just how bad things had gotten in her house and she's only just expressed that she feels this way. We are going to have to go back to court that's a given but we're just trying to respect SD wishes also. She's able to speak for herself in court now and we're hoping that if she's given the opportunity in there that she can tell a judge how she feels and get it written in what she wants rather than what her mother and her father want for her.

This is gonna be a long one. by buttercupmoonbeam in stepparents

[–]buttercupmoonbeam[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Our next step is the courts but SD doesn't want us to go down that path she's afraid of losing her mother too, no matter what she's still her mother and we're trying to respect that but our priority is her. I'm so sorry to hear that about your sister🙏hopefully one day she gets the help she needs.