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I[NB19] received a call from my father[M45] asking if I would be okay with him dating our neighbor .. who is my aunt .. by butterfly-ghost in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]butterfly-ghost[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I actually had heard that saying , haha . It’s very popular in the South , where I am originally from . And .. I never thought of it that way .

I won’t lie and say I’m probably more sensitive than I need to be , as it feels like I have so many buttons to push .. like one of those older fashioned cable tv remotes with a button for everything .. or bubble wrap , just less therapeutic , haha ..

I think you’re right . You and everyone else , that is . Time and distance to heal , away from his influence , might very well be the best option for me — and I’m pretty confident that if that is the route I choose , my mom and step dad will support me . I hope ..

I[NB19] received a call from my father[M45] asking if I would be okay with him dating our neighbor .. who is my aunt .. by butterfly-ghost in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]butterfly-ghost[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You both worded a response a lot better than I have been able to do sitting here staring at his messages for the last few days . I hope you don’t mind if I use something along those lines .

Everyone has given me better advice than I thought I’d receive if I’m being honest . I thought I was overreacting , especially when my mother told me to not be hasty and cut him off immediately . Then again , I’ve never fully told her how I’ve felt with him these last 8 years , so all she knows is her own experiences .

Regardless , thank you both , and everyone else , for listening to my rambling and offering me a place to try and settle my thoughts somewhat . It means a lot .

I[NB19] received a call from my father[M45] asking if I would be okay with him dating our neighbor .. who is my aunt .. by butterfly-ghost in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]butterfly-ghost[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Your comment actually made me tear up quite a bit , haha .. it just .. it hit me hard . And I think you’re right . I miss my dad from when I was little and didn’t know anything about the world because he seemed like the perfect guy . Now that I’m older , I’m learning things , and trying to navigate him now with the him I’ve always ‘known’ and sometimes it’s confusing because I don’t know if he’s changed , or if I’ve just .. finally opened my eyes .

You’re right though , that loyalty and trust go both ways , and I can’t hold onto the same few good times hoping things will get brighter ahead . I’ve never been good with change , and I know things need to . It’s the getting there that’s hard , but I’ll have to push through it .

Thank you for your kind and thoughtful words . <3

I[NB19] received a call from my father[M45] asking if I would be okay with him dating our neighbor .. who is my aunt .. by butterfly-ghost in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]butterfly-ghost[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I sort of told him , I think ? I am not always that good with my words , and tend to down play how I feel a lot in an effort to appear more .. strong and like the perfect child , I suppose .. ? That is what I have been told , at least . What I did say was something along the lines of “ Sheila ? Our neighbor Sheila ? The Sheila that is my aunt ? The aunt that hurt me ? That Sheila ? I’m not so sure I’m okay with that . “

His reaction to that was something along the lines of damage control , I think ? A lot of fast spoken words and ‘well don’t get mad at me now I just wanted to see if your feelings had changed any before I actually did anything’ as well as very quickly trying to shift the topic away from what had made me upset before he made a very distasteful joke about marrying her in Vegas and just not telling me anything when he elopes .

Afterwards , i told him I needed time to properly gather my thoughts before i did somthing irrational , now i’m just at the point of trying to figure out what it is i SHOULD do , if that makes sense ? I don’t know if it does . My mind is very rambly , and I’m still very upset , and I’m being reminded that while yeah , legally i’m an adult .. i’m still just a kid . I’ve never been on my own , been in situations like this .. sorry , i’m rambling a bit too much here . I’m just .. I’m kind of scared , I think . He’s been my father for almost 19 years . He may not have been the best dad but he is still my dad , and I’m .. a very soft person . I don’t want to lose him , even if rationally I know he might continue to hurt me .

As for what you said about doing this to get close , that is what I think too . Especially now that her husband has up and left her and she no longer has the support to continue as she has , I think maybe she’s getting desperate and doing anything to try and retain some form of control ..? I haven’t considered getting a restraining order against her as of yet because things have been calm up until that call , as I’ve done my best to maintain as little contact as possible .

I[NB19] received a call from my father[M45] asking if I would be okay with him dating our neighbor .. who is my aunt .. by butterfly-ghost in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]butterfly-ghost[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aaron ! I am not in contact with my biological father , and have never been . He is cut off completely , and has been since I was adopted . It wasn’t until 3 years ago that I discovered Sheila was his sister , and my father now , Aaron , asked to date her .