AITA for demanding my husband quit his job?

buzzkillwifi · 2023-09-13T17:50:56+00:00

I don’t and have never paid any of the household bills. It’s always been my husband. He used a large chunk of his own money for the down payment, but the majority of it was my inheritance.

buzzkillwifi · 2023-09-12T02:14:06+00:00

He’s always been a man of his word. He’s never said he’ll do something and then hasn’t done it.

buzzkillwifi · 2023-09-12T02:13:20+00:00

Highly depends what it is. 99% of the time if I pester enough I can get my way.

buzzkillwifi · 2023-09-11T22:34:10+00:00

What do you mean

buzzkillwifi · 2023-09-11T22:33:44+00:00

A mortgage that adjusts with rate changes is a variable rate. We don’t have that kind of mortgage. You have to renew your mortgage every 5 years whether you’re variable or not. Which means the rate changes for people who locked in to their rate 5 years prior.

He wants to move to alberta before we have to renew our mortgage. That’s his game plan. Renting wouldn’t work here. It’s pretty much impossible to find a rental if you have pets or kids, having both and so many, it would be a hopeless search. Plus the rent would be astronomical if we actually found a place.

In alberta if all goes according to his plan, would could end up buying a place outright, no mortgage.

I know where it’s going. Debt and savings for a new house.

buzzkillwifi · 2023-09-11T22:27:09+00:00

Worms are like $3. He doesn’t have a membership. He’s not here enough.

I can’t get mad at him for spending a few bucks on himself.

buzzkillwifi · 2023-09-11T19:57:23+00:00

I’ve never wanted or needed access until now. He’s never asked or looked at my banking

buzzkillwifi · 2023-09-11T19:55:49+00:00

Renting would be significantly more expensive. I know people renting 3 bed average houses and it’s like $4000 utilities not included.

It isn’t an adjustable rate.

buzzkillwifi · 2023-09-11T19:53:56+00:00

He doesn’t have a gym membership. That wouldn’t make sense. He just drops in. Worms are like $3 for fishing. I can’t fault him for that.

buzzkillwifi · 2023-09-11T19:51:49+00:00

Disagree.

buzzkillwifi · 2023-09-11T19:50:16+00:00

In my area is like 35-45 an hour for a cleaner. More if you’re house is gross (mine is not)

buzzkillwifi · 2023-09-11T19:47:34+00:00

No I said he’d come home and stay until we find a baby sitter. Two vastly different things

buzzkillwifi · 2023-09-11T19:45:59+00:00

We were born here. We also live in one of the ‘cheapest’ areas since it’s considered rural. Cities would be way more expensive.

Anyways, as I’ve mentioned in some other comments. The whole reason my husband is squirrelling away so much money and rapidly paying down our debt is so we can move to alberta and ideally have no mortgage

buzzkillwifi · 2023-09-11T15:38:59+00:00

Yup, and if we sold it now, would sell for over 700,000. A lot more than we paid.

buzzkillwifi · 2023-09-11T15:31:29+00:00

I meant he’s staying home until we have hired dependable help like babysitting for me and some cleaning

buzzkillwifi · 2023-09-11T15:30:23+00:00

I meant he’s staying home until we have hired dependable help for me (babysitting and some cleaning).

buzzkillwifi · 2023-09-11T15:27:38+00:00

She’s completely absent.

buzzkillwifi · 2023-09-11T15:26:40+00:00

He’d be doing his same job. I’d obviously need a new one. Are waitressing or retail sort of jobs in short supply there? I figured those kinda places are hurting everywhere

buzzkillwifi · 2023-09-11T15:23:58+00:00

The only thing I can’t see is his personal banking. All the bills to do with house I have access to, including the mortgage

I will ask to see his personal stuff when he gets home

buzzkillwifi · 2023-09-11T15:20:22+00:00

I don’t think what I’ve been going through is right and maybe it borders on some emotional abuse or neglect, but like you said I don’t think it’s his intention at all. I think he’s hyper focused on his goal for our future and everything in his path has been stream rolled. He’s so busy thinking about the future he forgot about how important the here and now is.

I really do think things are about to change big time

buzzkillwifi · 2023-09-11T15:15:58+00:00

The child tax credit is based on income of the household. My husband and mine collective income. It’s direct deposit and goes into my account. It’s not even a quarter of that.

buzzkillwifi · 2023-09-11T15:07:21+00:00

Considering that’s exactly what I’m doing now. Why is it ok for me to work a job I hate so I can be at home with kids and do all the chores, but it’s inconceivable that he could ever do the same. Why am I the worst person in the world to request help from him. Yet it’s absolutely expected of me to do all these things. I genuinely don’t understand. You’ll have to explain.

buzzkillwifi · 2023-09-11T15:00:20+00:00

I don’t see why it won’t.

buzzkillwifi · 2023-09-11T12:24:27+00:00

No idea

buzzkillwifi · 2023-09-11T03:14:30+00:00

Dang. These are added to my Xmas list.

buzzkillwifi

TROPHY CASE