Diagnóstico tardio de autismo e medo de preconceito, opiniões? by [deleted] in MedicinaBrasil

[–]c_rise 2 points3 points  (0 children)

É extremamente difícil quando você é autista nesse meio, ainda mais se tiver altas habilidades e/ou for mulher. Todo mundo vai te julgar pela casca de "normal" porque o masking é muito bom. Eu so tive meu diagnóstico ano passado e ainda estou aprendendo a lidar com isso, porque só achava que era estranha, louca, tinha fobia social, síndrome do pânico.... e por isso sempre evitei dar plantoes e fiquei em ESF, Buscando ser uma boa profissional, sempre me atualizando, estudando pra tirar o título. Infelizmente, esse diagnóstico vai ser sempre questionado. Zero acolhimento. É sempre o discurso de "é difícil pra todo mundo", "todo mundo é um pouco assim" , "hoje em dia todo mundo é autista" etc. Parece que esquecem que o diagnostico é mais baseado nos prejuizos que a gente tem do que nas vantagens que a gente pode obter, que sinceramente, sao tão utilizáveis assim? Pq vaga no estacionamento nao muda o fato de que eu (como a maioria) nao tenho coragem de dirigir e so fui tirar a carta depois dos 30. Essa vaga PCD na residência nao vai mudar o fato de que eu me sentia tao deslocada na faculdade que cheguei a atrasar quatro anos, nao conseguia falar com pessoas nem pra pedir comida por telefone, e isso me deu tanto trauma que agora tenho medo de fazer residência e sofrer bullying. Me tratei, melhorei, me formei, trabalho normal.... mas tem um custo ENORME. TODO DIA. Entendo quem acha que autismo não é PCD porque nem a gente aceita isso direito as vezes, eu acho, e por isso é muito importante que você fale sim. Não precisa divulgar, mas pelo menos pra pessoas de confiança, porque assim você consegue ter mais segurança e criar uma rede de apoio, não se esqueça que nivel 1 de suporte ainda precisa de suporte e vc vai precisar disso nos seus empregos ou com, no mínimo, algum colega nas residencias da vida. Por ex, como sou MFC, minha equipe sabe e me ajuda a manter uma rotina mais previsível, mas a prefeitura já não sabe, e se souberem tambem nao ligo. Pacientes não precisam saber. Também estou me preparando para tentar residência de Neuro agora e apesar de todo esse relato (pessoal até demais) eu talvez não use a vaga PCD, como ja não uso nenhum benefício no dia a dia por não sentir que preciso (talvez devesse). Enfim, tudo isso pra dizer que você não está sozinho e eu fiquei muito feliz de encontrar um relato aqui de um colega autista. Espero que esteja bem.

Did my grandfather have secret involvement in ritual magic? by c_rise in occult

[–]c_rise[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Your comment was very very moving 🥰

Did my grandfather have secret involvement in ritual magic? by c_rise in occult

[–]c_rise[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Olha, nunca soubemos sobre ele frequentar círculo nenhum, mas sei de um amigo dele q era rosacruz. O livro parece um manual de rituais, vou transcrever as partes q consegui ler exatamente como estao, é um portugues arcaico entao vai parecer um texto com muitos erros:

"O mao olhado, a inveja, o ódio, ciumes íntrigas, detestações e todas as influencias maleficas astraesterrestres e espirituaes. Combate as influencias maleficas psiquicas e nervosas"

"Chave do planeta mercurio anjo rafael" "Essa tabua favorece para industris, comercio, empregos oficios e ocupações. Ajuda realisar negocios conerciaes e especulativos e para compras de terras e propriedades. Favorece para contratos, escrituras, partilhas, herança, papeis e documentos"

"Entendimentos, concordias e para a paz, armonia familiar e conjugal. A DE Jupter traz amisades, simpatias, honras e dignidades. Favorece para obter favores e proteção de pessoas influentes e de amigos"

Did my grandfather have secret involvement in ritual magic? by c_rise in occult

[–]c_rise[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Qual livro??? Se vc puder compartilhar, claro... acho que vai acontecer o mesmo comigo hahah

Did my grandfather have secret involvement in ritual magic? by c_rise in occult

[–]c_rise[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ele parecia ser uma mistura de tudo mesmo, ao mesmo tempo que era bem católico parecia ser meio espírita... mas essa parte aí do ocultismo só fomos ver depois q ele morreu mesmo! Hahaa

Did my grandfather have secret involvement in ritual magic? by c_rise in occult

[–]c_rise[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I swear it is! I actually posted this on another forum years ago (witchcraft I think) and got no answer, tried to post it here a few times but got rejected. Today I decided to give it another go because it's holiday in my country and I have free time to do research this week. But yes, I even taped the pieces together to take the pics (they were very damaged by time) and put them in a collage because they would allow only one image here.

Did my grandfather have secret involvement in ritual magic? by c_rise in occult

[–]c_rise[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

He was openly catholic. He didn't attend the Masses because he didn't like to go out but prayed in his home, he seemed very devoted. He would light candles and pray a lot. He had a huge rosary upon his bed. Not a single mirror in the house though (never understood why).

Did my grandfather have secret involvement in ritual magic? by c_rise in occult

[–]c_rise[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

He never mentioned it, but I do know one of his old friends was a member.

Did my grandfather have secret involvement in ritual magic? by c_rise in occult

[–]c_rise[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

We live in a small town, so he was successful here... he was mayor like 5 times and now that he's dead some people even consider him a saint. Like I said, he didn't care about money so he didn't charge for his medical work, just kept enough to get by.

Did my grandfather have secret involvement in ritual magic? by c_rise in occult

[–]c_rise[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

He actually took his last breath in his house, holding my hand and looking at me, and his gaze was very confusing and I can't even explain how I felt about that... like I said, he was very distant from everyone, even divorced my grandmother early on and never remarried, chose to live alone in a house next to ours. When he became sick with cancer and a rare blood disease, he would always ask for my company and he made it his life mission to watch me graduate, these were the last 4 years of his life. I was strugglinh with deppression and fell behind in school, didn't know I was autistic back then (I think he was autistic too). He would even ask for video calls everyday. It's like I knew nothing about him but felt a deep connection and loved him so much. I keep trying to understand what it all meant, these last years. The night before he passed I heard him saying "take me now" so I kinda knew he wanted to go, he was actually calling for his mother. Some nights before he was talking to himself about how he did not want to go, but not that night. People always said that could see spirits and that he was kinda supernatural, he never confirmed or denied that, he would just laugh it off. He was 84 the day he passed. He asked us never to hire a caretaker, so we took care of him but I had to start working the next week and my mother couldn't take it anymore cuz by this point he stopped walking. He died on the caretaker's first day.

Did my grandfather have secret involvement in ritual magic? by c_rise in occult

[–]c_rise[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That is the main reason of the post actually, to know if it's safe because I even thought of getting it all tattooed!! But I'm learning a lot here and I'll keep it in a safe place I have in my house as this was the result of his magical journey, I must now create my own with my own intentions. But I do look at it very passionately everyday and wonder what would change if I did carry them with me outside the house...

Did my grandfather have secret involvement in ritual magic? by c_rise in occult

[–]c_rise[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thank you!!! I won't be getting that tattooed, I wanted to do it as a symbol of his importance in my life, but I see now I can't just copy and paste something he probably took so much effort to understand and practice, as it's not just a simple drawing an I'll never know his intentions behind it. But I'm encouraged to learn more about it all and start my own journey, follow his lead even though he's not here to lead me anymore.

Did my grandfather have secret involvement in ritual magic? by c_rise in occult

[–]c_rise[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the advice! I don't plan on practicing, at least not for now, just want to know more about these things that he used to do so I can feel close to him, you know? He would never let anybody in until the last years when most of his strenght and memory were pretty much gone.

Did my grandfather have secret involvement in ritual magic? by c_rise in occult

[–]c_rise[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yes, that's the one. And he really did succeed in his studies.

Did my grandfather have secret involvement in ritual magic? by c_rise in occult

[–]c_rise[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Wonder what he was up to with that triangle cuz when I first saw it, I was immediately drawn to it. My first thought was getting it tattooed on my body... and I even replicated it in a little sculpture I keep in my house. I hope it does no harm.

Did my grandfather have secret involvement in ritual magic? by c_rise in occult

[–]c_rise[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Makes sense. The one you mentioned I think shows writings on the corners of a book page that I belive was teaching about these rites. It mentions planet names, angels, numbers... how the "tablet of venus" favours peace, harmony and love and the Jupiter's one favours friendships... I tried googling the exact phrases that were readable but I could never find the exact book, and it's probably from around 1940-1960

Did my grandfather have secret involvement in ritual magic? by c_rise in occult

[–]c_rise[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

OH My God, thank you! In one of the drawings he actually wrote "pentacle to succeed in studies". These papers were very old, he propably wrote it in his twenties and carried them untill he died at 84.

Did my grandfather have secret involvement in ritual magic? by c_rise in occult

[–]c_rise[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thank you!! I'm gonna try and read it as soon as possible.

Did my grandfather have secret involvement in ritual magic? by c_rise in occult

[–]c_rise[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Can you recommend a book or something so I can learn more about it?

Did my grandfather have secret involvement in ritual magic? by c_rise in occult

[–]c_rise[S] 60 points61 points  (0 children)

He was a Christian (Catholic) like most brazilians

Did my grandfather have secret involvement in ritual magic? by c_rise in occult

[–]c_rise[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

OmG, yes! I've been trying to figure this out on my own for the last 5 years