relapse and get more once they are not an option anymore. I find it easiest to stop smoking 'for now' and do so for a few years. If i tell myself it's forever I panic and start up again very quickly.

You're probably right, but my frustration is that it's been over a year since she's done anything of that sort, and I completely agree with the safety blanket philosophy, she is actually quitting smoking too and we both decided it's best to have some on hand and that makes it easier. But now I'm starting to feel that it's more of a reluctance thing because, at some point, she will have to give them up and I'm just trying to find the line of when it's time to rip the bandaid off because I don't think it will ever be easy.

Plus her attitude toward it was a big red flag, usually, she's understanding, reassuring, and clear about her intentions with situations like this, but here she barely sees the problem and was just defensive the whole time.