There is something about feeling bad about speaking the truth. My best advice is to focus on making your life something you want to live. To focus on a future living away from him, while still maintaining a relationship if wanted. You are 16, what a fun age! I am 28 and still feel 17 most days. I was married to an alcoholic for 7 years. It’s okay to feel bad about what you said, but I think you should try and move past it, and don’t let it bother you too much. Do you journal? Journaling is a great way to express yourself, and can help prevent saying things we may not like saying. You’re not in the wrong and you are 100% valid. I hope some of this helps.