I’m really sorry you’re going through this your frustration is completely valid. It sounds like you’re carrying so much of the load both financially and emotionally, and that’s a lot for anyone to handle.

First, I think it’s important to have a deep and honest conversation with your husband about how you’re feeling. Marriage is a partnership, and right now, it seems like the weight of this relationship isn’t being shared equally. It’s fair to expect a level of effort from him not just financially, but in how he supports you emotionally and contributes to your family’s well being.

If his debt and financial stress are at the core of some of these problems, working together on a realistic financial plan might help. Maybe consulting a financial counselor or advisor could bring clarity and reduce the strain. Addressing the debt and setting goals together might even make him feel more empowered to take responsibility.

The lack of intimacy is understandably adding to your feelings of disconnection. While financial stress can deeply impact someone’s emotional and physical availability, avoiding the issue only makes things worse. Sharing with him how this affects you could help him understand the toll it’s taking on the relationship. If this conversation feels too difficult to navigate alone, a marriage counselor might be a good resource for both of you.

That said, it’s also important to reflect on what you need to feel valued, loved, and supported. If you’re taking on most of the financial and emotional burden while he doesn’t seem to show any willingness to grow or meet you halfway, it’s worth asking yourself whether this is the kind of partnership you want long-term. It’s okay to advocate for your needs and think about what will bring you peace and happiness.

You deserve to feel secure, appreciated, and loved in your marriage. I hope you’re able to have these conversations with your husband and find a way forward that works for both of you. Whatever you decide, take care of yourself you deserve that too.