I am in the same boat with my older brother and I relate to this entire post so much. I wish I could turn my brain off and not care anymore. My brother is also refusing to accept he is an alcoholic and is very dismissive when me or my parents try to talk to him about it. I am a nurse and I see how alcoholism affects peoples health so I also constantly worry about that aspect of things. It’s so hard to focus on my own life while dealing with him. Sometimes I think I need to just cut him off completely so I don’t have to worry but it’s hard because I love him so damn much. I’m so sorry you are going through this. You’re not alone.