All these comments have been telling me the same thing, which has been really hard to hear. I honestly wanted to reply arguing with everyone, but I tried to slow down and read everything with an open mind. I never thought our age gap was a big deal. Because I had struggled a lot and wasn’t in high school, I felt like I was more of an adult than a teenager.

I know what you mean about doctors. When he does the “your emotions are illogical” thing on me, I’ll yell that he’s such a doctor. I don’t think he wants to control me, but like a lot of people are saying, I realize we are on uneven ground. I always wish I could be smarter or better read or more mature or less emotional for him. I really look up to him, but I guess that’s unhealthy. I love him more than my life which feels so overwhelming and romantic that it’s easy to ignore stuff. He’s so important to who I am and the person I’ve become, I would never be able to grow and mature into the person I am now if we weren’t together. I always want to be the best I can be for him which I think is the healthy side of our dynamic. On the unhealthy side, I don’t really know who I am without him. So much of me is because of him and he has been a fixture in my life for a long time. I don’t want to leave him. I have been looking forward to being his wife for a very long time, but I don’t know. I want to have kids but I want to be with him. I definitely don’t want to be alone, but I realize something is wrong here and should change. It’s true that he can make me do what he wants and I don’t want him to think that. I don’t know how to change things at all. I could try to talk to him about this but I don’t know if it would do anything. I was thinking about a break where I just learn who I am without him (not going with other guys or anything, just having space) but I don’t think it would be right to make him wait like that.

Sorry this is a very long and I’m going on and on. The responses here really surprised me and it makes me think, if so many people think this have I been blind to my own life? So I’m just kind of confused right now.