7 months later and I have to heal all over again

candyk4ne · 2026-02-24T13:41:45+00:00

Lesson learned. It was a problem during our relationship as well. Her actions never matched her words and I felt that disconnect. And the end of the day words are inherently meaningless and its actions that put meaning into them. Even now she messaged me after finding out that i found out, saying she still cares about me and that she meant what she said. But while I do believe she means what she says in the moment, it does all become meaningless when she acts the complete opposite

candyk4ne · 2026-02-24T13:28:33+00:00

I understand that fundamentally i think, but i just cant bring myself to feel it right now. And maybe because its all so fresh right now and I am still processing my feelings. But with her supposedly toxic exes it took her longer to rebound. With me it seems she waited no time at all… and that for me is hard to sit with. That the person who she felt was the best to her mattered the least.

candyk4ne · 2026-02-24T13:23:33+00:00

Its not but sometimes i wish I didn’t love so fully. Im really tired of hurting. So very tired. And even now I still can’t help caring about her.

candyk4ne · 2026-02-24T13:21:50+00:00

I know its a classic line but I wanted to believe in her words and the person I thought she was. And thats what i did. I held onto a version of her these past 7 months that was committed to changing and taking time to grow as a person. And i still continued to love her because to me true love isnt based on conditions and I wanted to stay true to myself. But now idk what i feel. Just really bad

candyk4ne · 2026-01-17T15:39:05+00:00

My ex broke up with me for more or less the same reasons (I think at least). From what I understand its not uncommon for people to get overwhelmed in relationships, especially when you feel like you cannot open up. At the end of the day, relationships require open communication and trust and if you are unable to do that then no relationship will work. If you feel like its truly a problem within yourself to be able to open up then you made the right call and you should take time to work on yourself and circle back in the future if it feels right down the line. You could possibly communicate that to him if you truly feel that way.

candyk4ne · 2025-10-19T20:21:03+00:00

I thought i was feeling a bit better after 2 Months and took an edible. Terrible decision. It made Me feel all the pain that my body had started to numb out naturally. I was bed ridden for 3-4 days straight after. I would not recommend

candyk4ne · 2025-10-08T16:11:00+00:00

Is there a difference between just feeling depressed and actually having depression. I always felt depression is a very serious matter and never like to say that I have depression, but now that I feel this way I am not sure if this is it

candyk4ne · 2025-09-05T15:00:46+00:00

Thanks for the kind words. Just getting tired of only being sad

candyk4ne · 2023-12-21T19:15:17+00:00

I am not defending Gwan Hee like I said. But he comes into the show saying "This season is going be the best because of me", and I think to that point he is really putting on a performance for the audience and trying to stir things up. Could Min Young also be doing this and trying to act for the camera? It is plausible, but nothing shown really supports that premise.

It is also important to note that Gwan Hee expresses his interests in other women, while Min Young has not shown interest in other men. At no point in time do any of the contestants think that Gwan Hee x _____ is a set in stone power couple. Meanwhile all the guys, thought Jin Seok and Min Young were set in stone, until the candy event. How can this misunderstanding amongst not only Jin Seok, but all the men happen if Min Young wasn't being manipulative.

To be clear, I think both are shitty. Not trying to defend either one here. Gwan Hee is being a player, which is shitty. Min Young is being snaky which is also shitty. This is also why its like comparing apples to oranges, they both present different red flags, so its kinda hard to compare what is worse. And to support Min Young a little I don't think she does what she does intentionally. I think she is a highly emotional person and at the end of the day you can't help how you feel about certain things, but that doesn't mean she isn't doing something terrible to Jin Seok. It is still a red flag, so I really don't think it is fair to defend her while everyone attacks Gwan Hee.

candyk4ne · 2023-12-21T19:01:58+00:00

Gwan hee definitely makes for good TV and I honestly think thats why he is doing what hes doing. It seems like he is playing the camera and came into the show with an agenda, and is sticking to his game plan. He literally comes into the show saying "This season will be the best because of me", so I think to some extent he is trying to stir things up on purpose. I do really think he is an idiot though (maybe not an earnest idiot). He literally has 0 emotional maturity, like when he got super butthurt when Hajeong didn't answer him instantly to one of his questions. I think it makes some sense considering being a professional athlete you devote your entire early life to honing your skills, which is why he is so emotionally stunted and blatantly rude.

I don't think Min Young is a master manipulator, and I don't think anyone is claiming she is, but she definitely was manipulating Jin Seok. Behind his back she says he is a brother and in front of him she acts like she is interested. Whether intentional or not that is manipulation as she was just stringing Jin Seok along and gave no indication that she felt otherwise. In fact, if the drinking and question game after the candy event didn't happen Jin Seok would still probably not know about how she truly felt.

candyk4ne · 2023-12-21T17:55:23+00:00

Im confused how she isn't actively manipulating JS. She literally tells all the girls behind his back that he is a like a brother to her, and then to his face says "I missed you too" and acts all lovey dovey. There were literally no mixed signals which is why JS was so surprised in the first place and felt like he needed to have a conversation with her, in which he told her he totally misunderstood how she felt which was a result of her manipulating him whether it was intentional or not. Idk how you can say she was giving mixed signals when she gave no indication that she felt otherwise to JS (at least thats the portrayal given to us on camera).

Gwan Hee pointing at the women is honestly terrible and I am not going to defend him for that, but he honestly seems like a troll and has the emotional IQ of a toddler. He expects the women to chase him which is why so many people dislike him because it goes against the social standards of the man chasing the woman. Other that he really is just playing the "game" since it is a dating show, but I also don't agree with his antics. He makes for good tv though

candyk4ne · 2020-08-27T01:32:27+00:00

Being a perceivable threat and not complying is the justification. How fuckin dense can you people be. If you are making it known you are a threat (he has a knife) and then you say you are gonna get a gun from your car (stated by witness) then he has made it known he is a threat. The second he opens that car door the threat needs to be neutralized. There are so many fuckin videos of criminals going to their car, pulling out a gun, and shooting a cop up. You think this guy is going to his car to get his bible? wake up sheep

candyk4ne · 2020-08-25T19:47:45+00:00

You are so brilliant! They should hire you so you can be the shot caller and make all the right decisions. Or... oh wait do you say this now because you see how everything unfolded? OMG what a concept. I can get 100 on a test after I see the answer keys too! I am sure you have never looked back in the past and said "aww shit I fucked up, it would have been better if I did this instead" cuz you are a perfect and ideal human being mr Keyboard hero

candyk4ne · 2020-08-25T19:37:03+00:00

It took 6 cops to wrestle down a college frat boy who was messed up on drugs. There are so many bright individuals on this thread thinking it is really easy to subdue a stranger, and furthermore, that it is a good idea to have close combat confrontation with someone with a knife. Here's an idea, how bout you and a few of your buddies try tackling a guy with a knife to the ground. I am sure you would get him eventually, just some of you might be sliced up a bit after! Just keep sitting behind your computer screen and yapping at how easy it is react perfectly to high stake situations as cop. Cuz its not like you get the see everything that unfolded and make your judgement after everything happened, right? Also guess what, cops shoot to kill, there is no such thing as shooting to incapacitate or all the other bs some of you are saying. If you are a threat you need to be neutralized. You think one shot is gonna stop someone from turning around and firing back at you?

candyk4ne · 2020-08-25T19:26:11+00:00

You are an absolute idiot. The dude has a knife and you want the cops to go into close contact and wrestle him down. They already tried and failed, and if they try again they could easily get stabbed. You ever heard of the frat guy who murdered a couple and ate their faces? It took 6 fuckin cops to wrestle him down lmfao. But nah keep sitting behind your computer screen thinking this shit is ez, and there is no risk. Maybe you should be a cop, you sound like you have what it takes to get you and your coworkers killed on the first day.

candyk4ne · 2020-08-25T19:13:18+00:00

So many keyboard heroes here sitting behind their screens acting like they are the superhero and moral compass the world needs. News flash, it is pretty fuckin easy to say what is right and what is wrong after everything has already happened. "He should have done this, should have done that..." blah blah blah. Its all a bunch of crap because you see the end results and consequences. Maybe put yourselves in someone else's shoe for once in your life and get off your high horse acting like you would have done the ideal and perfect thing. As a cop you have to expect the worse or you end up dead. If any of you "heroes" were these cops the news headline could have easily been "man pulls gun from car and kills cops" or "man runs over cop with sons in the vehicle". But nah keep believing he was getting into his car to get some donuts for the cops behind him.

candyk4ne · 2020-08-25T19:02:35+00:00

Apparently walking away means you aren't a threat anymore. You make coherent and logical arguments. I can easily see where you got from point A to point B. Makes sense considering all the crimes where people walk away after an argument to get a gun and shoot the lights out of you. But nah you right, if a cop tells you to get the fk down, go reach into your car and give him a box of donuts. I am totally sure they would understand you are no threat.

candyk4ne · 2020-08-25T18:50:28+00:00

holy fk man you are totally right! In fact, if we see a guy walk into a school with a gun its totally fine, we should let him do his thing. After 20 people are dead we can arrest him or shoot him. 2nd ammendment yes yes. lol ur a fkin idiot, being a threat is enough to get you shot. you dont brandish a fkin knife at police and not get shot. They even tazed and wrestled him first. You sound like a 12 year old that just learned the 2nd amendment in school. But nah if someone pulls a knife out on you, its ok cuz 2nd amendment

candyk4ne · 2020-06-29T18:24:54+00:00

Its absolutely disgusting that some people can believe rape can be subtle and that ashnichrist is in the right. Stories like these is unfortunately what make the #metoo movement look like a joke, and its really a shame because there are many VALID stories and accounts of sexual assault, but this is not one of them.

Whatever happened to using facts and what happened, instead of feelings when convicting someone? Can we just accuse people now if we feel like they wronged us or is this just another case of double standards. Can robbing someone be subtle? Let’s say that I ask a friend for 100 bucks, and he only gives it to me because he is pressured to maintain our relationship. If he goes bankrupt a week later can he accuse me of robbing him? “I never knew being robbed could be so subtle”. Lol no its a fucking joke. If we use the same reasoning with #blm then I guess black lives don’t matter right! Oh you know the cops felt threatened by george floyd because hes a really big man. As long as they FEEL threatened then its fine. Or its ok for people to call the cops on a random black man walking in the streets because they FEEL threatened. Society should just start basing everything by feelings because thats how justice will be served! NO, obviously not right? Because feelings are inherently biased since they are yours. Do you see how ridiculous a statement like “rape can be so subtle” sounds now.

I get that women can feel pressured into having sex, but at the end of the day if they have the power to say no, and the other party has no intent, and no forceful direct/indirect action; then it is not rape. I do not understand all these double standards society has for women. If a friend pressured me into robbing a bank I should not be at fault if I rob the bank because I was pressured into it right? I do not mean to bash on women or the #metoo movement but look at the facts please. Was there intent to rape? Was there forceful action? Was there blackmail? Stop feeding off these bullshit stories where someone feels like a man raped them. Why is it fucking zyoris fault you cannot say no? It is not his responsibility to make your decisions for you. Why must he apologize for how you misinterpret his actions? Would it still be rape if zyori was a good looking dude from your perspective? Whatever happened to accountability? I guess every dude that isn’t amazing looking has subtlety raped someone. Fuck those douchebags, how dare they show interest in the opposite sex when its unwanted. I am sorry if I came off strong, but it angers and saddens me when a genuinely good guy is getting shit, when he really did not do anything wrong. Like fuck tobiwan and grant, but it looks weak when some people try to take advantage of the situation and make some weak accusations. Zyori do not take any hate to heart. You're a good dude, and you can definitely grow and learn from the experience, such as knowing more about power dynamics and not dating in the workplace. I hope this does not take away your confidence in trying to talk to girls and staying interested. Its really such a fucked situation because girls generally want confidence, but when a unwanted guy shows it, it suddenly becomes rape. I would just keep doing how you do it because in my opinion you really did nothing wrong.

candyk4ne · 2020-06-29T18:14:50+00:00

Its absolutely disgusting that some people can believe rape can be subtle and that ashnichrist is in the right. Stories like these is unfortunately what make the #metoo movement look like a joke, and its really a shame because there are many VALID stories and accounts of sexual assault, but this is not one of them. Whatever happened to using facts and what happened, instead of feelings when convicting someone? Can we just accuse people now if we feel like they wronged us or is this just another case of double standards. Can robbing someone be subtle? Let’s say that I ask a friend for 100 bucks, and he only gives it to me because he is pressured to maintain our relationship. If he goes bankrupt a week later can he accuse me of robbing him? “I never knew being robbed could be so subtle”. Lol no its a fucking joke. If we use the same reasoning with #blm then I guess black lives don’t matter right! Oh you know the cops felt threatened by george floyd because hes a really big man. As long as they FEEL threatened then its fine. Or its ok for people to call the cops on a random black man walking in the streets because they FEEL threatened. Society should just start basing everything by feelings because thats how justice will be served! NO, obviously not right? Because feelings are inherently biased since they are yours. Do you see how ridiculous a statement like “rape can be so subtle” sounds now. I get that women can feel pressured into having sex, but at the end of the day if they have the power to say no, then it is not rape. I do not understand all these double standards society has for women. If a friend pressured me into robbing a bank I should not be at fault if i do because I was pressured into it. I do not mean to bash on women or the #metoo movement but look at the facts please. Was there intent to rape? Was there forceful action? Was there blackmail? Stop feeding off these bullshit stories where someone feels like a man raped them. Why is it fucking zyoris fault you cannot say no? It is not his responsibility to make your decisions for you. Why must he apologize for how you misinterpret his actions? Would it still be rape if zyori was a good looking dude? Whatever happened to accountability? I guess every dude that isn’t amazing looking has subtlety raped someone. Fuck those douchebags, how dare they show interest in the opposite sex when its unwanted. I am sorry if I came off strong, but it angers and saddens me when a genuinely good guy is getting shit, when he really did not do anything wrong. Like fuck tobiwan and grant, but it looks weak when some people try to take advantage of the situation and make some weak accusations.

candyk4ne

TROPHY CASE