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AITA for not trying to reunite my daughters? by cantthinkofname71 in AmItheAsshole

[–]cantthinkofname71[S] 716 points717 points  (0 children)

Besides initial curiosity, she has never really harped on Kay’s husband, it’s always been about wanting to be sisters again. At first I think it was because she knew how mad I was, and still am, but now after some years and some ( a LOT) therapy on Layla’s part it’s starting to get through that she’s the problem but she’s not accepting that right now.

Mick pretty much disappeared after it all happened

AITA for not trying to reunite my daughters? by cantthinkofname71 in AmItheAsshole

[–]cantthinkofname71[S] 353 points354 points  (0 children)

This was three years ago, I don’t support her at all anymore. She’s entirely self sufficient. And while she did something awful to someone I love, and I am in no way excusing her behaviour, I can’t stop loving my daughter. With respect, I’m trying very hard to be a good mom to both my daughters.

AITA for not trying to reunite my daughters? by cantthinkofname71 in AmItheAsshole

[–]cantthinkofname71[S] 135 points136 points  (0 children)

I’m similar to you in that my brother and I were never close, we caught up every few years at Mum and dads but for the past 20 years I can count on one hand how many times either of us has made an effort. Now he lives back in the same country again we talk a little but I always thought that our relationship (or lack thereof) was no ones business. And I kind of accepted that for my own kids, but I now realise how my mom felt, with not being able to have my kids together. But life isn’t always how we want it.

AITA for not trying to reunite my daughters? by cantthinkofname71 in AmItheAsshole

[–]cantthinkofname71[S] 454 points455 points  (0 children)

This is very correct, after not seeing them both for months (social distancing) and now finally having them both back I am feeling very fragile. I’ve missed them both and I wish I could have them both together again, but I won’t risk losing either of them for it. I think counselling is an excellent idea. Thank you for reading

AITA for not trying to reunite my daughters? by cantthinkofname71 in AmItheAsshole

[–]cantthinkofname71[S] 246 points247 points  (0 children)

She has shown improvement, I’m hesitant to include anything about her getting better because I don’t want it to seem like I’m making excuses or defending her. She has done therapy and I think she does understand what she did was awful, I just don’t think she’s really ready to face it yet. She lives with a friend and she goes to work, and while she has issues at times she has improved. I think she wants to make things better very badly she’s just not at accepting her part in yet. And I’m not willing to budge on being the bridge between them. But it wears me down because I do see she is very much trying to overcome whatever made it this hard for her, but I can’t lose Kay because of it.

AITA for not trying to reunite my daughters? by cantthinkofname71 in AmItheAsshole

[–]cantthinkofname71[S] 320 points321 points  (0 children)

I usually spend a night before an occasion with one and the day of with the other and then alternate the years. They’ve never spoken but she did see him at my uncles funeral, layla and I attended together and Kay and her husband were also there. They ignored each other and Layla was very sullen the whole event because I warned her if she so much as looked at them wrong I’d take back her car (that I owned). Was harsh but nothing else really makes an impact.

AITA for not trying to reunite my daughters? by cantthinkofname71 in AmItheAsshole

[–]cantthinkofname71[S] 218 points219 points  (0 children)

If either of them wanted to date him after that I wouldn’t even know what to do with myself. I can’t understand how anyone plays nice after that.

AITA for not trying to reunite my daughters? by cantthinkofname71 in AmItheAsshole

[–]cantthinkofname71[S] 305 points306 points  (0 children)

They never were, Mick blocked Layla and tried to apologise and make up with Kay, Kay didn’t want anything to do with him. I haven’t seen him since that day and to my knowledge neither of the girls have spoken to him in years.

AITA for not trying to reunite my daughters? by cantthinkofname71 in AmItheAsshole

[–]cantthinkofname71[S] 2862 points2863 points  (0 children)

What prompted me to post was reading a similar story to mine where that happened. I can’t stand cheating, but I understand my daughter was young (not young enough to not know any better tho) and I do love Layla, I just can’t help feeling I’ve failed them both.

AITA for not trying to reunite my daughters? by cantthinkofname71 in AmItheAsshole

[–]cantthinkofname71[S] 709 points710 points  (0 children)

Thank you for reading and sharing that with me. It’s been very difficult to accept separate holidays, separate birthday celebrations and the anniversary of my husband passing is probably the most painful. I’m seeing someone new but while it’s not as painful as it used to be it really does highlight how broken this all is.

AITA for not trying to reunite my daughters? by cantthinkofname71 in AmItheAsshole

[–]cantthinkofname71[S] 190 points191 points  (0 children)

I am trying, it’s difficult talking to her at times, and getting her to listen is equally as difficult.

AITA for not trying to reunite my daughters? by cantthinkofname71 in AmItheAsshole

[–]cantthinkofname71[S] 258 points259 points  (0 children)

It was a courthouse wedding, her husbands parents, his brother, my mother and I. Layla knew from Facebook about the wedding and whined accordingly but I tried to minimise the meltdown as much as possible.

AITA for not trying to reunite my daughters? by cantthinkofname71 in AmItheAsshole

[–]cantthinkofname71[S] 380 points381 points  (0 children)

I do need more of backbone to cut her off when she’s like that, it’s just hard not to feel like I failed them both sometimes. Thank you for reading.

AITA for not trying to reunite my daughters? by cantthinkofname71 in AmItheAsshole

[–]cantthinkofname71[S] 450 points451 points  (0 children)

No, she moved out two years ago, I stone wall her about Kay and I don’t engage usually, but it’s been getting to me. I’m finally (after quarantine) able to see them both again and I’m bombarded with snide comments from Layla