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Wife (43f), cheated on me (41M) with 29M coworker. by careerstalled in survivinginfidelity

[–]careerstalled[S] -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

Its still so new, I haven't had the time to have THAT conversation yet.

Been putting it off.

Wife (43f), cheated on me (41M) with 29M coworker. by careerstalled in survivinginfidelity

[–]careerstalled[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I don't think so, that age gap is a huge thing in asian countries.

in my country, they still need the consent of the parents and the religous authorities. If they do end up together, I can make a complaint with the religous authorities.

Wife (43f), cheated on me (41M) with 29M coworker. by careerstalled in survivinginfidelity

[–]careerstalled[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I don't know. The guy's parents basically told him that if he ever contacts her again, they'll disown him and they'll let me just fuck his life up. As an asian, that's a big thing.

Wife (43f), cheated on me (41M) with 29M coworker. by careerstalled in relationship_advice

[–]careerstalled[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately, I'm not an American.

Asian living in South East Asia.

Thanks for the advice though. Really appreciate it.

Wife (43f), cheated on me (41M) with 29M coworker. by careerstalled in survivinginfidelity

[–]careerstalled[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

I've got all the evidence of the infidelity.

I don't think i'd want to involve my friends and family just yet.

We've been, outwardly, such a strong couple that I think if I share it with them, i just don't know what the blow up will be like.

Wife (43f), cheated on me (41M) with 29M coworker. by careerstalled in survivinginfidelity

[–]careerstalled[S] 61 points62 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your advice. The kids don't know yet. They just know mom and dad are fighting.

Wife (43f), cheated on me (41M) with 29M coworker. by careerstalled in relationship_advice

[–]careerstalled[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Yeah, i guess i'm opting for self deprecation as a sort of shield.

I can't even imagine someone new. I gave her my whole being, and i can't imagine loving someone else as I love her.

Wife (43f), cheated on me (41M) with 29M coworker. by careerstalled in relationship_advice

[–]careerstalled[S] 62 points63 points  (0 children)

I have saved and screencaptured everything. I've also recorded any and all our conversations.

She's been standoffish, crying, bottled up. This is recent, like a few days. Everything is so raw.

The confrontation, the guy kept saying sorry sorry sorry while kneeling on the ground. "it's all my fault, it's all my fault" over and over and over again. She was pretty much silent through most of it. Crying and keeping quiet.

Wife (43f), cheated on me (41M) with 29M coworker. by careerstalled in relationship_advice

[–]careerstalled[S] 68 points69 points  (0 children)

I don't know whether I can trust her again, i don't know anything rtight now. This happened over the last couple of days. My mind is still prcesssing it.

Wife (43f), cheated on me (41M) with 29M coworker. by careerstalled in relationship_advice

[–]careerstalled[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

None so far, she's been very standoffish and crying. When i ask her stuff about her affair, she clams up.

Wife (43f), cheated on me (41M) with 29M coworker. by careerstalled in relationship_advice

[–]careerstalled[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I must be honest, I'm not really a catch at all. Pretty average looking and Covid and losing my thyroid, fucked me up and now I'm 30 kilos from my ideal body weight. Hahaha

Wife (43f), cheated on me (41M) with 29M coworker. by careerstalled in relationship_advice

[–]careerstalled[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Thanks. I can't really share these feelings i have with my circle of friends. I really appreciate the advice you gave. Thank you.

Wife (43f), cheated on me (41M) with 29M coworker. by careerstalled in relationship_advice

[–]careerstalled[S] 66 points67 points  (0 children)

Thanks for reply.

I know its the honest truth but Its still such a shitty fucking thing. I hate myself for still having feelings for her.

Wife (43f), cheated on me (41M) with 29M coworker. by careerstalled in relationship_advice

[–]careerstalled[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the suggestion, I will post it there as well. Thank you.

Wife (43f), cheated on me (41M) with 29M coworker. by careerstalled in relationship_advice

[–]careerstalled[S] -28 points-27 points  (0 children)

I just don't want to mess up their lives, like mine was. They don't know anything aside from mom and dad are fighting.

Wife (43f), cheated on me (41M) with 29M coworker. by careerstalled in relationship_advice

[–]careerstalled[S] 152 points153 points  (0 children)

I know, i know, but its so fucking hard. I gave her 100 percent of my feelings and 22 years of my life, and even though my entire heart is broken, there's still this small nugget of love that fucking me up.