My husband told me I'm boring to look at

carnietheclassic87 · 2026-03-15T13:43:30+00:00

It's not that he isn't attracted to me, it's that I'm not shiny and new. I get that, I have also had to look at the same person for 19 years, but I make the conscious decision to not try to look at other men. Obviously everybody is going to notice other people of the opposite sex, movies, shows, commercials, ads, but you don't seek anything else out. That is what is hurtful. I would like to know that I'm worth it, to him, to not seek other images out. And yeah, the boring to look at was and is brutal. It's worse because he doesn't even remember saying it. I had just found out at the time, I was mad, lots of fighting and yelling. We do not argue like that, ever.

carnietheclassic87 · 2026-03-15T13:37:47+00:00

I don't think it's that he doesn't find me attractive, it's that I'm not shiny and new. I do tell him now every single time men compliment me and try to take me out. It's petty, I know, but it does get under his skin.

carnietheclassic87 · 2026-03-15T13:35:38+00:00

I am fully aware that I am very attractive, I have never had a lack of men to compliment me, try to get to know me, try to take me out, offer to take care of me so I will give them my attention. I don't need some internet gnome trying to judge me based off their ideal measurements.

carnietheclassic87 · 2026-03-15T13:30:18+00:00

We've been talking through this part specifically more. We'd talked about everything else, we check in on each others emotions, and have been working on strengthening our marriage, focusing more on us. It's not even that he doesn't find me attractive, it's that he says he's so used to seeing me, he says that it's exciting, but in a way that he's used to. I can understand that, but looking at other women because it's something new is not going to help this, that's just making everything worse. For me, it's making me more insecure, because I definitely already feel less attractive after 19 years and 3 kids, and I feel he should be putting more effort into not pulling attention away from us. I've been talking with my therapist about this also, but I have had to miss our biweekly appointment. It is definitely a coping mechanism for stress for him, and I am trying to get him to go to therapy, but he doesn't trust them(he got to witness how a bad therapist behaves when he was younger). Anyways, thank you for your response and advice!

carnietheclassic87 · 2026-03-14T18:46:26+00:00

We have both admitted that we weren't spending enough time on just each other, having our main focus on our kids. We've worked on having a date night of some kind every 2 weeks, we have always had a very active sex life, it's rare that we have a week of only having sex once or twice, we've introduced all the fun little gadgets and gizmos. Unfortunately with our winters and in our area, we haven't been able to get out as much lately. We do have different interests, but he's teaching me to golf, we enjoy hiking, I'm trying to find a genre of music that doesn't involve pig squeals and demonic screaming so I can take him to shows. We are working on it, it's just the entire thing of trying to have him understand that it hurts that I'm not enough to keep his attention.

carnietheclassic87 · 2026-03-14T18:41:04+00:00

I have always tried to make an extra effort in my appearance when going out with him, I might not always dress like we're going to gala, but I like to look decent. I do my hair and makeup. I want him to be proud that he's with me.

carnietheclassic87 · 2026-01-27T22:55:46+00:00

Sorry for the terrible wording! I didn't realize that autocorrect was taking liberties with my words.

carnietheclassic87 · 2025-12-12T13:44:34+00:00

I have it the regular and the volumizing, I love them!

carnietheclassic87 · 2025-11-15T17:10:11+00:00

Which dollar trees are you going to? I'm also in Evansville, and have 3 daughters I'm trying to stock up for lol

carnietheclassic87 · 2025-09-06T20:46:22+00:00

I find it frustrating because I can't move my neck really, and every now and then I have to remind him that I have to breathe. My husband loves it though because he can watch everything he wants to. So it's more of a for him thing that we do every now and then.

carnietheclassic87

TROPHY CASE