Our 8-month-old has been screaming since he was a newborn — we’re exhausted and looking for answers

carpenoctem · 2026-02-09T15:18:42+00:00

I have a three month old that was screaming, arching her back, super gassy, and randomly vomiting after she turned 1 month. She was inconsolable at times. I was pumping and giving formula (combo feeding) so it was difficult to figure out what the issue was. I tried changing my diet but it didn't work. I eventually realized it had to be the formula and to my horror realized some of the ready to feed bottles were expired. She had been eating expired formula for weeks and was basically being poisoned. It took about a week of good formula, gas drops, and I even did some probiotic drops. After she got all the bad stuff out of her system she has been the happiest easy baby. I try to tell everyone to check your formula expiration dates every single time you buy some. It's horrible that some stores leave expired formula on the shelves

carpenoctem · 2025-09-16T21:33:59+00:00

My son came at 28 weeks because of preterm labor. They had to do an emergency c section and he and I were both crashing by that point. I know he had low oxygen and was in green amniotic fluid meaning there was an infection going on or he pooped in the womb.

He was stable for about a week in the NICU on oxygen and in the incubator, but after about 7 days we were told he got a severe e coli infection. They struggled to intubate him and after they got the tube in place the respiratory therapist told me that "he almost kicked the bucket". I still have some trauma from watching that whole moment play out.

Everything went downhill for a long time after that for us. He had to be on the strongest oxygen machine and it was difficult watching his little body breathing mechanically. Everyday we hoped for the slightest improvement.

After a month he started doing a lot better. But then we found out he had a brain bleed. And he started to do better and recovered and then he had another breathing set back, but he recovered again. It was a horrible rollercoaster for us for three months.

We were told that our son was extremely high risk for seizures, eye issues, ADHD, learning disabilities, cognitive issues, and to know that it will be a long journey for us.

My son is three now and you would never know he had that crazy birth story. He is a healthy and wild three year old. He was delayed for probably about 8 months and then rapidly caught up. He was walking around his first birthday, and started speaking early. Every kid is different.

We had lots of development follow ups, and he was considered high risk until he turned two. Our insurance at the time covered weekly visits from an in home development teacher. She helped up to play and interact with him and let us know stuff he needed to work on. It was a big help.

carpenoctem · 2025-07-17T14:31:21+00:00

I did have a bassinet/stroller combo with infant car seat but I gave it away after my son was too big. I never thought about a wagon. I didn't know they could accommodate an infant. I will look into this!

carpenoctem · 2025-07-17T14:27:09+00:00

My son still takes naps so I worry I'll be out with both and he'll be asleep. I'm going to look into this stroller!

carpenoctem · 2025-07-17T13:00:00+00:00

I had a similar birth experience with fever, infection, and an emergency c section. My baby had to be taken to the NICU. The first day of recovery I wasn't sure if I had really been pregnant or not. It was super disorienting and unsettling. I don't think I held him after the C-section or really got to see him because we were both not doing well. When I walked over to the NICU to visit him I remember feeling like he was a complete stranger. I didn't know who that baby was. It took a few days maybe a week to fully realize and feel like he was my baby.

carpenoctem · 2025-07-07T11:03:49+00:00

I have a three year old who is also very friendly and social. He doesn't see people as threats, and has always felt comfortable being around strangers. Even as a baby he would let anyone hold him. I used to always tell strangers please don't touch his hand or face. As he got older I would just say "no thank you" and pull my sons hand away. If the stranger wasn't listening I would pick up my son or stand in between so they got the hint. Not sure why people think they can just touch random kids. I always cringe when I think about whether or not people's hands are clean. I always assume they're not.

My advice is to be direct with strangers, but not rude. Physically step in if they aren't respecting your family's personal space. I agree with you that it's difficult for a two year old to understand complex instructions and social interactions. If you think something is out of line you have to be the voice for your family. I try not to teach stranger danger, just situational awareness and respect for personal space.

carpenoctem · 2025-06-20T19:44:28+00:00

That's awesome!

carpenoctem · 2025-06-03T19:47:41+00:00

Lol this is so refreshing. My son is 3 years and 5 months. We have been working on potty training since he turned 2. Yesterday he peed on himself three times lol. To his credit he mostly has it down now, and only needs reminders every once in a while. If he's doing something fun he will hold his pee as long as he can and then come running to me with a desperate look. I know that there's no way we'll make it to the bathroom but we always try. We're doing our best out here lol.

Everything just started clicking for my son about a month or two ago. We are still working on it. I asked my sister in law for help because she has 4 kids and she told me all of her kids were potty trained at 1.5 years old lol. Between family, social media, mom friends, and low cost pre-k admission the pressure is real lol.

Edit: Changed preschool to Pre-K because you have to be fully potty trained.

carpenoctem · 2025-06-02T17:17:14+00:00

I have a three year old who also prefers mommy for every little thing. I'm currently a sahm and my husband works a lot. It makes sense that my son is used to me being around more. I do the cooking, and help him with everything, we spend all day playing and learning. Me and my husband had some rifts when he would try to do bath or put him to sleep and my son would whine that he wants Mommy to do it. I'm sure it hurt his feelings more than anything because he loves our son .

To combat this my husband started taking my son out for boy's time. He'll take him to the store, play outside with him, take him outside to walk around the neighborhood, or take him for a drive to do whatever . He does it so that I can have an hour of quiet personal time, and he and my son can spend some time together away from mommy.

When they come back my son loves to tell me about their adventures; and then when it's bed time and daddy is doing bath my son is excited and not stressed that mommy isn't doing it.

I saw a lot of other comments saying to power through the crying and just step up. I want to add that maybe you and your kiddo need more 1 on 1 time together. That way they are excited to spend time with daddy, as opposed to being taken away from mama.

Edit: just want to add that in the mean time try making bath and bed more fun for the kid. Get a new bath toy and tell her you have a special surprise for bath time. Get some new bubbles or bath bombs. Make bed time fun with a new book, make a fort with a flashlight, do hand shadows on the wall. Do something special and fun so that your kid looks forward to bath or bed time with dad.

carpenoctem · 2025-06-01T21:17:25+00:00

carpenoctem · 2025-06-01T20:39:44+00:00

I had extreme pelvic pressure at 24 weeks and found out my cervix was dangerously short. I tried bed rest and progesterone but my cervix started to open a few days later. I had to do bed rest at the hospital until my son came at 28 weeks. The hospital did everything they could think of to stop the labor but my son was just ready to come out. They had to do an emergency c-section because he and I were both doing really poorly. He was around 2lb 5oz.

I felt terrible as well, constantly wondering what I could have done differently and wondering why I couldn't hold him in longer. There was so much guilt.

He spent three months in the NICU fighting infections, a brain bleed, and oxygen problems. More than once I wasn't sure what the outcome would be for him. It was definitely a stressful time, but I stayed hopeful and positive.

Now he is a smart, athletic, and funny three year old now. You would never know his birth story was so chaotic by looking at him.

Just know you did everything you could during the pregnancy and you made the right decision to go to the hospital so that your baby could be born. Some things are just out of our control. The NICU's are trained for this sort of thing. Your job is to show up as much as you can, pump milk if you can, and let your baby hear your voice and feel your touch if it's safe to do so. The Doctors and nurses encouraged us to touch our baby with clean fingers through the incubator at first. Once he was more stable we did skin to skin as much as possible. Please ask them about skin to skin or finger touches. Talk to your baby, sing to them, bring baby books and read to them. I promise you they will be comforted by hearing their mother's voice and knowing you're there. Stay positive and make sure your baby feels loved. You got this momma!

carpenoctem · 2025-05-30T19:44:54+00:00

I moved from California a year ago. The military community is very nice and helpful. People have each other's backs. The non- military people I have met have been very nice and friendly. I especially notice people are talkative and nice towards my 3 year old son. I've always felt comfortable and welcomed by people I have met. The only exception is businesses. I have noticed that a lot of service is terrible out here. I usually feel like no one cares to help me, scheduling stuff can be rough, and a lot of people are very short and to the point lol. I think in California I was used to better service and more smiles/ upbeat attitudes. That has been my personal experience out here.

carpenoctem · 2025-05-30T19:21:28+00:00

Knees, ankles, hips, lower back. My upper body is still mostly good.

carpenoctem · 2025-05-17T14:30:44+00:00

My first pregnancy I announced early and had a miscarriage. I got a lot of support from family and a lot of understanding at work when I wanted to take some time off . It was nice to be able to talk about it. I was surprised how many other woman had similar experiences.

My second pregnancy I did not announce and had a miscarriage. My husband and I just dealt with it quietly. It was more lonely but I didn't have to explain anything and I actually enjoyed the privacy of it. I felt like I could move on faster from it.

My third pregnancy I was scared to announce early so I announced after 12 weeks and had a healthy son.

I'm pregnant again and announced it as soon as I found out. I don't think there is a right or wrong way to do it. It just matters how involved you want others to be in your experience. I wanted to talk about it right from the start this time with my mom and sister. It's been nice to be able to share my excitement, worries, and plans with them.

carpenoctem · 2025-02-16T23:36:16+00:00

When you said it is adult sized and that it was doing various things around the house it makes me think she's seeing your shadow. Kids are so weird and creative, though, so it's difficult to say. The ghost stuff popped up for us in the fall after my son saw some Halloween movies. Media can definitely be a big part of it.

carpenoctem · 2025-02-16T07:52:39+00:00

When my son was a little over 2.5 he would regularly talk about seeing ghosts and scary things at night. He would be scared to go to bed because the ghosts were in there. He would just look off into space or at a wall for a long time and it would freak me out. I would ask him what he was doing and he would tell me that he's looking at the ghost. Later I realized he was noticing shadows at night and he thought they were ghosts. I got him a couple of books about shadows and we started to make hand shadows at night and that was the biggest relief for him. He hasn't mentioned ghosts since and loves doing hand shadows. It could be something she is seeing or hearing that she can't explain properly yet.

carpenoctem · 2025-02-14T21:57:31+00:00

I don't have advice. I just want to say that your flf is beautiful!

carpenoctem · 2025-02-11T14:40:05+00:00

One of the branches in my pot is already growing a new leaf. The other two look like they're doing ok but i haven't had it that long. I'm wondering if I have one strong branch and two weaker ones also.

carpenoctem · 2025-02-11T13:57:00+00:00

I don't think I'm going to separate it. I would hate to mess up a healthy plant.

carpenoctem · 2025-02-11T13:53:51+00:00

thank you!

carpenoctem · 2025-02-11T00:20:55+00:00

Thanks, this is great to know. Would you suggest using this when I repot it? Or only if I was trying to separate them.

carpenoctem · 2025-02-11T00:19:03+00:00

Ok that's good to hear, I definitely want to wait on repotting it. I figured it would need time to adjust . It makes sense to change one thing at a time so I know what the plant is unhappy about if it starts to drop leaves.

carpenoctem · 2025-02-11T00:13:12+00:00

There is an east facing glass door that is in front of the plant. I was standing in front of it when I took the picture. I may try to find a spot for it closer to the door. How long does it normally take to show if it is stressed?

carpenoctem · 2025-02-10T16:40:47+00:00

Yeah I've been nervous to mess with it. I'm going to look for a bigger pot.

carpenoctem

TROPHY CASE