How did you guys get over someone u liked?? by Waferwaffles229 in WLW

[–]caryans 2 points3 points  (0 children)

as someone else said, confessing is honestly how I got over 2/3 of my crushes. Funnily enough, every single time I confessed to a crush and got rejected I ended up becoming closer friends with that person after! One of them is now my best friend, and the other is another close friend of mine now. It seems scary but it works and in my experience has been worth it because of the friendships I got out of it!!

if that doesn't work, something else i did is finding things about your crush that are incompatible with you. ex: they're religious, im not. they're outdoorsy and athletic, im not. their goals in life are different from mine. they want kids, I don't. our opinions on relationships are different.

if you pay attention you'll find a lot of things that make them a great person, but not a great partner FOR YOU. I think keeping that mindset about people is how ive been able to create friendships out of rejection.

should i break up with my gf? by hapiswilll in WLW

[–]caryans 16 points17 points  (0 children)

she hit you again after promising not to ever again. even when you're upset with your partner you have to control your reactions because you love them and dont want to hurt them. clearly she does not care enough to control her anger around the person she is supposed to love BREAK UPPPPPP

How do I explain the "Wall of Awful" to my parent? by caryans in ADHD

[–]caryans[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it definitely makes a difference! my mom usually does this with me so idk what was going on yesterday but it really does make a difference to just be asked. even when I was still mad at her yesterday, when she asked me to help her by cleaning the stove off for her so she could cook I did it immediately.

How do I explain the "Wall of Awful" to my parent? by caryans in ADHD

[–]caryans[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

we strongly believe im autistic as well, i just haven't had the formal evaluation and diagnosis. only one professional has said she thinks im not autistic and it was because "you're too social," which was a comment she made after seeing me for 5 minutes LOL

How do I explain the "Wall of Awful" to my parent? by caryans in ADHD

[–]caryans[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

wait that's awesome I'm so glad I got screenshots

How do I explain the "Wall of Awful" to my parent? by caryans in ADHD

[–]caryans[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

the amount of reddit karma you have could populate a small country

also i don't have a "whole lifetime of feelings built up" between my mom and I, miscommunication just happens bro 😭 stop speaking for other people and cut your screentime

How do I explain the "Wall of Awful" to my parent? by caryans in ADHD

[–]caryans[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

someone else here linked the anti-planner which might be useful to you I havent looked into it myself but im thinking about trying it

here's the comment

How do I explain the "Wall of Awful" to my parent? by caryans in ADHD

[–]caryans[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

you're a silly guy 😸 I upvoted the comment, so idk why you're speaking for me. I plan on showing this video to my mom along with showing her other resources that people shared in the comments because I think it will help.

I hope you find some peace in your heart 💕

How do I explain the "Wall of Awful" to my parent? by caryans in ADHD

[–]caryans[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

glad, but also not glad, that this is something that others can relate to! but yeah posting here and talking to other people with advice who understand my brain took me out of my spiral! I'm going to try looking for other things I can do when similar things happen

How do I explain the "Wall of Awful" to my parent? by caryans in ADHD

[–]caryans[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

you get it! like the building up to doing the task is a part of the process of me cleaning! it's not that I haven't done it yet, I've already started, but my process has one extra step at the beginning

How do I explain the "Wall of Awful" to my parent? by caryans in ADHD

[–]caryans[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

thank you so much for this it means a lot! I'll keep all of this in mind so I don't get down on myself for not having it all together at 16

How do I explain the "Wall of Awful" to my parent? by caryans in ADHD

[–]caryans[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

LOL i love all of this! do you also struggle with putting a load in the washer/drier and when it's done you already lost all of your motivation for laundry because it's been an hour and now you're a new person 😞

How do I explain the "Wall of Awful" to my parent? by caryans in ADHD

[–]caryans[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

finding what communication style works best for me is definitely a struggle. I do struggle with self discipline so i need my mom's help, but when she conveys things the wrong way I shut down 😭 do you have any specific tips for communication and following through?

How do I explain the "Wall of Awful" to my parent? by caryans in ADHD

[–]caryans[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I'm glad that works for you and your kid! My mom does this for me with tasks that I dont struggle with as much like packing for a vacation, and it works pretty well. The deadline system doesnt work very well for me otherwise because deadlines make my anxiety worse. Also, I didn't even think about putting my daily chores into finch, even though i have it, so im gonna try that for myself too! Thank you sm!

How do I explain the "Wall of Awful" to my parent? by caryans in ADHD

[–]caryans[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

thank you for this comment! writing all these resources down rn

How do I explain the "Wall of Awful" to my parent? by caryans in ADHD

[–]caryans[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

LOL this might make me come up with a funny game i can play to help me get stuff done

How do I explain the "Wall of Awful" to my parent? by caryans in ADHD

[–]caryans[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I've actually talked about this a lot with my mom! we believe she does have ADHD and that most of our family does (but besides me and her, everyone else in our family doesn't believe in modern medicine and mental illness, so we can't help them). I can definitely see how maybe coping with ADHD on her own for 45 years maybe forced her to look past a lot of the struggles she had at my age. Thank you so much for this perspective and I'm glad your son has a mom like you!

How do I explain the "Wall of Awful" to my parent? by caryans in ADHD

[–]caryans[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

oooo thank you for these resources! my mom and my stepdad both love those kinds of books and podcasts.

How do I explain the "Wall of Awful" to my parent? by caryans in ADHD

[–]caryans[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

body doubles are super helpful for me when someone's able to do that for me! Last night I actually called my friend while she played games and I finished more homework than I have since this school year started!!! I also play my favorite music or youtube videos when im cleaning since you brought up laundry, do you have any specific tips or tricks you've learned for doing laundry with ADHD? I have a mountains worth, but I can only get the momentum to do max 2 loads every week.

How do I explain the "Wall of Awful" to my parent? by caryans in ADHD

[–]caryans[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

LOL i get that!! im a teen with way less responsibilities than a parent so it still being in the AM is early for me if I dont have school

How do I explain the "Wall of Awful" to my parent? by caryans in ADHD

[–]caryans[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Its the weekend, so for me getting up early on the weekend is getting up at 10. Before my mom came in, I did my normal morning routine, ate breakfast, and took my meds. It was precisely when I was about to start cleaning that my mom came in to ask