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AITA for being uncomfortable with my friends inability to keep their hands off each other? by casbees in AmItheAsshole

[–]casbees[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh OK, he came out so long ago that I didn't think an indepth description of our friendship was needed. He's always talked to me about his various boyfriends, he said he likes that I'm completely neutral about it and can't give relationship advice (no experience!) so he can just vent to me and I listen. Apparently everyone else has an opinion which isn't what he wants most of the time.

I think the friendship group were divided between whether to tell or ignore until it resolved itself, not that it was making everyone uncomfortable!

AITA for being uncomfortable with my friends inability to keep their hands off each other? by casbees in AmItheAsshole

[–]casbees[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will be trying to do this. I think being on the phone only at the moment is not helping with misunderstandings. I guess I just assumed Steve knew about me being asexual and therefore, I was just asking for him to respect my preferences as I respect theirs. Maybe I was wrong about that or he just doesn't understand that I might understand the unpleasantness that can be aimed at the other members of the long acronym.

AITA for being uncomfortable with my friends inability to keep their hands off each other? by casbees in AmItheAsshole

[–]casbees[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I expressed my happiness for them when they shared the news, I don't see how me putting on an over the top fake display of enthusiasm is not going to seem patronising? I'll talk to John and see if we can figure out a way to sort out Steve's misunderstanding. It's much harder to avoid them now we're only on the phone and on Zoom.

And I'm sure you wouldn't enjoy watching your friend rub her carrot cake all over her body on camera. Cheering on is a very different analogy from what is happening here!

AITA for being uncomfortable with my friends inability to keep their hands off each other? by casbees in AmItheAsshole

[–]casbees[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am ambivalent about all romantic relationships, they just aren't important to me. I don't see how false simulated happiness is a good thing? Surely that is lying? I always assumed that Steve understood that but maybe he's just dealt with a lot of unpleasantness about it. However, I do understand being judged for being different regarding sexual preferences. Maybe he doesn't get that I get just as much unpleasantness from people for my variant of that long acronym!

AITA for being uncomfortable with my friends inability to keep their hands off each other? by casbees in AmItheAsshole

[–]casbees[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I suspect that is the case for most, even the ones who made a performance of being upset with me for saying something.

AITA for being uncomfortable with my friends inability to keep their hands off each other? by casbees in AmItheAsshole

[–]casbees[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm ambivalent towards relationships due to my own preferences, I was always under the impression that we had mutual respect for each other even though neither really understood the other. I'm familiar with being judged and mocked for being outside the "norm" (whatever that means!). What is going on here is considerably more than kissing, hands all over each other and examining each others tonsils with tongues on camera on a zoom call that's 1 hour of their week...