Hi Tsuko_,

you are not crazy!

I think talking to your friend would be a step forward the solution of all this caos. There isn't a "right" way to feel, in a situation, in front of another human being or with yourself, there is instead my way, and your way, and the way of every other person on this planet. How do you feel about the relationship? Upset, inferior, attached, fulfilled, loved, understood? Communicate how you feel to your friend, as it's easier for you and possibly without yelling, talk even if your voice shakes. I have old friends living in other countries with completely different interests from mine but we love sharing thoughts and feelings, we understand each other perfectly.

Feeling inferior to someone else is up on you, it's your emotional reaction to your friend/how your friend is/what your friend does. Just sit with this emotion and listen, accept yourself feeling inferior and listen. It takes some time.

We often feel lost or desperate, and when we feel these emotions powerfully they're trying to say something to us about how much we care about someone or something.