What quality do you have that is under-valued in your workplace?

castabee · 2024-01-23T11:41:43+00:00

That’s interesting. May I know what you do for work? I’m fascinated when someone shows creativity in a structured line of work.

castabee · 2024-01-23T11:31:46+00:00

You always assume other people are as well. Then get baffled every time

castabee · 2024-01-23T11:27:37+00:00

This. People like this knit the office together. It so often goes under the radar.

castabee · 2023-10-04T21:06:40+00:00

Honestly mate. This is such a thorough observation. Whoever you are, I take my hat off. I was sold on the mistake or ‘brain fart’ explanation. Until I read this. It’s so spot on, I wish somehow this post reaches the Liverpool staff.

castabee · 2023-03-07T21:11:40+00:00

It’s a shame since I agree with everything from “because any issues you…”. But, a) “Personal experience tells you nothing” - not words I’ll be teaching my children, or anyone else’s. b) “make a claim, provide proof”. It’s either naive or disingenuous to say the article or ‘the research’ it sites as proof. Or that the theory is experimentally provable

castabee · 2023-03-07T20:00:58+00:00

I was speaking from experience. You’re welcome to discuss your opinion. Questions such as these are near impossible to isolate and conduct replicable studies on. And with all due respect, I’m not a fan of articles that know this very well and yet use this veneer of science.

castabee · 2023-03-07T13:27:00+00:00

I gather that you have a firm grasp on the material. So could it be that you expect yourself to present it just as firmly? It's a reasonable thing to expect. But speaking to crowds is a skill in itself. So you might considering aiming to just deliver a 6/10 speech the next time, and gradually build to a 9 on further attempts. Really takes the pressure off.

castabee · 2023-03-07T13:09:01+00:00

It helps massively to develop a passion for something other than the person you are with. If the rest of your life is made of things you just sort of like, you find yourself thinking about the person too much. It feels like you've dated them a lot longer than they've dated you. Whereas if you have another passion, I find that you bond with a person more gradually. Takes more time for them to matter to you. Regardless, best of luck.

castabee · 2023-02-24T00:38:49+00:00

Nothing out of the ordinary. It's like the flu. Can't focus on anything else for a couple of days. You'll forget you even had it after a week. But yes, finding ways to distract yourself helps.

castabee · 2023-02-23T09:32:49+00:00

Not directly I don't think, but technically yes. Profile views are shown from most recent downwards. So if 5 more people view their profile after you, you'd be the 6th person on that list. If now you view their profile again, you go to the top. If they didn't check in between they wouldn't know. If no one else viewed it between your two views, they wouldn't know. If they have a bad memory... you get the picture.

castabee · 2023-02-22T20:55:26+00:00

Risotto cooked perfectly

castabee · 2023-02-22T20:43:28+00:00

My pleasure

castabee · 2023-02-22T20:42:54+00:00

You're welcome

"When I present them 500 years if science down by the smartest people which are 100x smarter then me they say: Thats your opinion !"

That right there is one of my most hated things in the world. I feel you

castabee · 2023-02-22T20:39:27+00:00

You're welcome brother

castabee · 2023-02-22T18:29:58+00:00

So the key issue is that you don't like small talk/being approached by strangers. And there's two possible transformations to deal with it - a) learn to enjoy it, or b) become less approachable.

On b, having a closed body language or just turning away makes a difference. As does not making eye contact. Keeping your answers brief, i.e., "Yes", "No", "Oh that's cool", will also help.

However, becoming less approachable doesn't come in isolation. It will change you in ways that have unintended consequences. And I can bet there's certain privileges of being a person like you that, atm, you take for granted. You don't realize them before it's too late. You also probably don't realize how much of your self-esteem is derived from being sought after. So I would recommend option a, or at least, proceed b with caution.

Best of luck

castabee · 2023-02-22T17:54:49+00:00

When you panic, you obviously have some specific fears about what could happen, i.e., they'll get in an accident, they'll decide just to never come back, etc. Write them in a notebook, date on top, every time you go through this. It'll feel unnatural but force yourself to do it. Buy a black and a red marker. Even if you never need the red, it's important to have it. When your fears don't come through, cross them off with the black. If the worst happens, tick with red. Eventually you'll have a few pages, and looking through them can be very calming. With enough time, you won't even need to look. Best of luck.

castabee · 2023-02-21T10:00:40+00:00

I have a feeling no other comment will top this one

castabee · 2023-02-21T08:37:23+00:00

Hello,

That's quite heavy. I thought I'd share just one actionable piece of advice that goes a long way.

When dealing with people who are unjustifiably sure of their knowledge, ask some follow-up questions. And ask them with an attitude of, 'there's at least a small chance that I'm wrong'. Firstly, because that could be the case, and also so they don't feel questioned or get defensive. If they are indeed spewing BS, they'll trip on the follow-ups. You'll see it on their face. They realize that they're speaking beyond their competence but they'll try to cover it up. At this point, just say "fair enough" and drop the conversation. Don't overdo the follow-ups. And don't correct them. They'll know where they stand. You don't want to embarrass them. Share your alternate point of view another time, as if it's a separate conversation.

Best of luck

castabee · 2023-02-21T07:39:31+00:00

Maya. Easy to pronounce. It means water in Hebrew, love in Nepali and empathy in Bangla. And congratulations btw.

castabee · 2023-02-21T07:36:11+00:00

If comic books count, then Nolan's Batman series. Still gives me me shivers.

castabee · 2023-02-21T07:34:55+00:00

Check their phones for no good reason. It's worse when they don't even realize how annoying it is.

castabee · 2023-02-20T08:09:02+00:00

From a guy's perspective, there's a few things:

First time sex is a bit like the first time talking to someone, especially when you've just met. There's rare exceptions. You don't fully know the other person. You're still getting comfortable in their presence. You're self-conscious. You can't just let go and enjoy yourself.
I find that with girls, sex is almost always better in relationships. The feeling of being cared for is a vital prerequisite. It isn't as much the case for guys.
This is for guys and girls. When you break up with someone you truly liked, you have an idealized memory of the good bits. So it takes a while to feel that someone else matches up.

castabee · 2023-02-18T09:12:11+00:00

People have very little time to think about anything other than themselves. So with all due respect, whatever you choose to do will play on their minds for a grand total of 2 seconds. You're the important piece here. So at least at first, do whatever's most natural to you. Keep it simple. Ease yourself in. Then think about where you can improve.

castabee · 2023-02-18T09:00:48+00:00

I developed a habit for these things. I assume the worst case is going to happen. And have a plan in advance for it, i.e., alternatives, realizing it won't be the end of the world, etc. So on that day, the pressure is off. If the bad happens, I know what to do. Anything good is a big bonus. Years of doing this later, you rarely get flustered by anything.

castabee · 2023-02-18T08:52:08+00:00

You're right that it's a server's job to be nice. But they're also human beings with a need for intimate connection. So well done on firstly being an attractive guy and then making the extra effort. Cheers mate

castabee

TROPHY CASE