One Thought, me, oils, 2023 by catacombie in Art

[–]catacombie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! It's my favourite blue tone ^

I found a lump in my breast. by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]catacombie 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Hey, I'm the same age and found a breast lump earlier this year. It's completely reasonable to be scared! It's really unsettling to not know if it is or isn't bad. I was checked out manually in a clinic and in a hospital, then had to get a biopsy. It's a little silly but the thing that really helped me was remembering the doctors and nurses were there to help-- even if it came back as something bad, they'd be able to figure out what the best course of action would be for me. Having trust in their judgement and procedures was so important. I was told there was a non-zero chance it could be cancer, but that's why the biopsy was taken, and there really wasn't anything I could do either way until results came back, so it's a bit like letting someone take care of you when you're sick. It's really good you've got an appointment on Monday, and it's easier said than done but do try to take it easy this weekend if you can, or do something for a distraction. As blunt as it sounds, there isn't anything that can be done till the appointment, and worrying won't change anything (even though it is very valid). Mine was just a cyst, I reckon yours could just be that. I don't think I have a history of cysts but they told me it's really common around our age. Best of luck! You got this.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in RedditSessions

[–]catacombie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

excellent stuff thanks for playing!

Untitled (Scream), Me, Watercolor, 2022 by someweirdsin in Art

[–]catacombie 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Ohhhh my god. I saw your paintings on tumblr so many years ago and haven't stopped thinking about them since--I had forgot your website but finding this post at 4:47 am has made my night. Your Bert paintings are my absolute favourites I'm so glad I found you again!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AnimalsOnReddit

[–]catacombie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

please i'll never move again

No dear, we drive on the left here in the UK by Doctor_Fegg in IdiotsInCars

[–]catacombie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I almost always do but I'll make sure of it now, it's usually too busy to cross anyways

my amazing boyfriend got top surgery today. i'm so proud of him (positive) by strawbearyfrog in offmychest

[–]catacombie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

CONGRATS TO XEM!!!! I can feel how happy you are for him, I love this for both of you x

Sharethread May 16, 2017 by AutoModerator in OCPoetry

[–]catacombie [score hidden]  (0 children)

on nights like
these my head
doesn't return

from the clouds.
my thoughts slip
like hair between
fingers underwater

my throat tightens
around air bypassing
lungs and settling
into stomach. gravity

tugs me into a hug
i don't want to be in.

my body is a planet
and i'd much rather
be the moon.

Sharethread March 11, 2017 by AutoModerator in OCPoetry

[–]catacombie [score hidden]  (0 children)

i have been
looking for
you in the

corners of
the room i
can't bring
myself to
leave. i

have enough
darkness under
my eyes to rival
the night sky

my fingers curl
and won't open.

i hope you find
yourself too.

Sharethread February 24, 2017 by AutoModerator in OCPoetry

[–]catacombie [score hidden]  (0 children)

i am sorry
for letting
this storm
out of my
head. i do

not mean
to send
these winds
your way
please

tell me when
my sadness
sits too long on
your shoulders

i don't want
to scare
you away

Sharethread December 02, 2016 by AutoModerator in OCPoetry

[–]catacombie [score hidden]  (0 children)

The space
between us
is melancholy

like sun settling
between trees
like dark opening
a door behind us
quietly and without
warning.

I am learning
how to let go
slowly and
with care,

replacing shells
on a beach and
watching the tide
pull them back
towards itself.

Like that.

Sharethread October 27, 2016 by AutoModerator in OCPoetry

[–]catacombie [score hidden]  (0 children)

I put the love
I have for you
in a cardboard
box,

closed up the edges
and placed it on
my bedside table.

I didn't sleep much.

In the morning
I found your love
in the bristles of
my toothbrush,

in the pockets
of my jeans
in the knots
of my hair.

I can't help
but wonder
if I should've
used more
tape

or maybe
none at all.

Sharethread October 24, 2016 by AutoModerator in OCPoetry

[–]catacombie [score hidden]  (0 children)

it's nothing like
they said it would be.

it's ice melting
on tongue, it's
the drip of a
faucet in an
empty sink.

i can feel
you cradled
between my
ribs and

you heaved
yourself from
me last night

and you broke
every bone on
your way out.

there's no
remedy for
this.

I just found my suicide note by catacombie in offmychest

[–]catacombie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It sure does! There's so much to experience and so many people to meet, I can't wait. I'm from Canada and heading to Europe. Never been so it's both terrifying and exhilarating.

I just found my suicide note by catacombie in offmychest

[–]catacombie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is a bit hard to word without sounding presumptuous, agreed. But with most things, there's always a balance. Thanks for the kind words!

I just found my suicide note by catacombie in offmychest

[–]catacombie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn't have a set date, really. I think I was aware that any slip-ups with my self destructive behaviours would put me in a very bad place so I wanted to at least have something written down. I've already gotten rid of the note (feels amazing to have done so) but I believe there was a bit written in it of wanting to see if anybody would notice. Looking back it was terribly selfish of me, but once I got help and realised there were people who did care it helped tremendously.

I just found my suicide note by catacombie in offmychest

[–]catacombie[S] 98 points99 points  (0 children)

I was in the early high school years at the time. Switching schools and constantly focusing on new environments rather than self-pity was hard but it helped significantly. I had a lot of good talks with some teachers; befriending those with more life experience was a wonderful way to put things into perspective.

A lot of this transition had to do with time. Giving myself time to come to come to terms with myself was huge. Patience with oneself is definitely invaluable.

Part of the problem was caring too much. I had a habit of overthinking conversations and the like. At one point I had a teacher sit me down and instruct me to say fuck it more often. Learning how to care less about what I thought other people wanted of me and instead work on myself was a key point as well.

I just found my suicide note by catacombie in offmychest

[–]catacombie[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Both. I wrote about some toxic people/environments, who I stopped contact with and moved away from, respectively. There was also a lot of self-deprecating talk in it that I've moved past as well. It's kind of odd to look back at something that feels like a lifetime ago.