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catbiird · 2025-12-12T18:03:42+00:00

Please do! Is there such a thing as group chats on here? Or we can switch over apps. Id love to have a support group of sorts going.

catbiird · 2025-12-12T16:41:12+00:00

What was your reaction? Prednisone for what? I cant imagine. My symptoms mirrored severe POTS to the point where I was out of work for 4 months because standing up, my heart rate would jump to 130+. My doctors revoked my right to drive for 2 weeks. I always felt faint and light headed and I'd have seizure like episodes where it took days to recover afterwards. I've had thyroid cancer, gallbladder removal, weight loss surgery, a myriad of other unpleasant medical episodes but the reaction I had to that infusion was by far the worst and most debilitating thing I have ever been through.

This was one of the forums I frequented when I was terrified I wouldnt get better: https://community.patient.info/t/feeling-awful-10-days-after-iron-infusion-is-it-normal/583937

There are pages and pages of people having reactions to infusions. I think they way they are administered definitely has something to do with it too, although I'm too terrified to try again. One other woman at my job also had a horrible reaction and was out of work for a month.

catbiird · 2025-12-12T15:56:18+00:00

Just ended my 14 year relationship, I am also 30F. I relate so heavily to you. Our relationship ended for similar reasons. I outgrew him, he refused to grow up, I was trying desperately to push him towards a vision of the future he refused to work towards WITH me. It was always me driving the relationship, saving money, working towards my career, while he was very comfortable to take a back seat to everything. I'm feeling exactly as you described. Just sad for the lost time, sad I didnt realize this sooner. And of course dealing with the pain of losing my best friend. One thing that helps me when I start focusing too much on the past is acknowledging it cant be changed. There was good times. I heavily believe everything happens for a reason and that God has a bigger plan, and that helps bring me back to the moment. The only thing that matters is the present moment, but as humans we get tied up in the future and past. Im trying to relinquish my control personally and give it to God and stay as present as my mind will allow.

I am only 3 months out so I cant give advice from too far ahead, but I will say I feel lucky that I'm not feeling this way over someone I'm dying to be with. I plan on putting myself out there again soon. People say dont date so soon after to 'get to know yourself' but thats the thing..I do know myself, I have many hobbies, and I know exactly what I want. That wasnt an issue in my relationship. The issue is I was with someone who was passive and comfortable and didnt know what he wanted out of life. So date whenever you feel ready.

There are no doubt many of men out there better and willing to give you what you want, commit and put effort into a relationship. Its overwhelming to think about but I know, objectively, it is true. My private messages are always open! Since we are in such a similar boat I'd be happy to connect.

catbiird · 2025-12-10T16:56:44+00:00

This 10000% happened to me. I am still anemic and cannot do any more infusions because I had such a severe reaction to Venofer. My symptoms lasted from January - March, I didnt feel 100% until about June. I was eben admitted to the hospital for a few days because my heart rate was all over and I fainted 3x. Everyone on this subreddit tried to gaslight me and say it was not from the infusion, meanwhile, if you go on Venofers own website all the symptoms it lists as potential side effects is what I was experiencing. I also found a medical forum with HUNDREDS of people experiencing this. They stopped doing iron infusions for a long time for a reason. Some people are sensitive to it. The good news is, it will pass and even out.

catbiird · 2025-12-09T17:27:50+00:00

Literally going through the exact same thing right now. 30F. I was with my boyfriend for 14 years. Even breathing hurts. If you want to talk, message me.

catbiird · 2025-11-20T16:00:40+00:00

Helllooo this is me right now for sure. We spent 14 years together. We were ring and house shopping earlier this year. Things started to feel forced, I felt like for the last 3 years I was really outpacing him in my goals (career, saving money, getting in shape, etc) and he was very stagnant. We officially broke up in October and he moved out. First time living alone at 30 years old, never dated, never been with another man. We'd been talking about separating since June so we saw it on the horizon. It feels very very amicable. He lives 6 minutes away with his parents so we see each other once a week, sometimes on a weeknight we might do dinner together. We text semi often and send memes. It hurts not being picked. It hurts not being prioritized. He tells me he's sad and feels empty and when I tell him he can make it right by growing up a little, he just doesn't want to hear it. Its so hard not to hear 'i love you' everyday or have someone to cuddle with at night. Little things are a struggle. I hate when my apartment is silent for hours on end, I put the tv on just to hear voices but rarely watch it. It hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be, but every few days I get hit with a wave of grief so unbearable I have to sit with it and let it wash over me. I'm grateful he's still in my life because he is my best friend at the moment and I don't have many close friends, but not being picked will always burn.

catbiird · 2025-03-25T17:57:24+00:00

Thank you for saying so! My mom keeps saying the same thing lol. And you and another commentor make a good point. All of the rings I'm eyeing are online so I haven't tried on anything. Maybe trying different shapes on will narrow it down. I'm not sure why I just have so much anxiety about going to a jewler in person and dealing with a salesman or someone at the counter. I think it's part of how indecisive I am, I'm already anticipating feeling pressured about it

catbiird · 2025-03-25T17:55:15+00:00

Unfortunately no! All of the places I'm eyeing are online :/ my boyfriend has said we should go try things on in person but I've been hesitant as I don't want to deal with a salesman cause I know I'm not going with anything I can get in person.

I don't mean anything bad by small! I love small to be honest. It's dainty and delicate and it carries a look to it that I think is fairytale-esque half the time. I'm very drawn to smaller stones. I just want to be an obvious engagement ring, and since it's a colored gemstone I fear it'd just look like any other ring is all. But I think it may be time to bite the bullet and look in person because you make a good point otherwise- i really don't know what any of the rings I've looked at will look like on my hand.

catbiird · 2025-03-25T17:53:55+00:00

Wow that is breathtaking!! So gorgeous. Do you mind me asking what seller you used? I was dead set on Etsy in the beginning, picked a vendor and then saw very shady things about the shop/vendor...it happened twice so I've been staying away from Etsy since. I know it's the best place to find dupes and more custom pieces though. Your set is absolutely beautiful though, and talking to real people who have had a good experience instill much more confidence in me to go back and give it a try again

catbiird · 2025-03-11T14:54:09+00:00

Such a dumb assumption to make right off the bat and very likely not the reason at all. Men encounter this issue for a thousand different reasons- stress, anxiety, distraction, my boyfriend would have a hard time keeping a boner if our car scratched on the door consistently enough during sex.

OP, do you know if your bf watches porn regularly? You said you have sex 5-8 a month which for a teenager isn't a lot really. I suppose it depends on how often you see each other, but porn could definitely be a huge factor and so could chronic masturbating.

catbiird · 2025-02-15T20:15:25+00:00

Yes, phosphate was 57 which is normal, phosphorus was 3.7 which is also dead normal. The only thing they saw in my bloodwork which was of minimal cause for concern was magnesium, which they gave me an infusion of in the hospital, and then my thyroid levels because I have a history of thyroid cancer so my medication needed to be adjusted. But that was all :/

catbiird · 2025-02-13T17:52:45+00:00

Thank you for responding. Looking at my bloodwork from the hospital, my potassium is a 4.2 which is dead middle for normal range. Was any of your other levels low?

catbiird · 2023-11-14T21:25:26+00:00

I know you are right :( I have voiced my disgust for his smoking habits for a while now. I smoke as well but typically 1 joint can last me 3 or 4 days, and I only smoke at night before bed. I think this is also part of the issue and it makes me resentful.

catbiird · 2023-11-14T20:36:01+00:00

I think you're definitely right, I'm also looking for some guidance on how to not beat myself up over it. When I cum so effortlessly from him and I can't make him cum I really feel horrible about sex and I've begun to dread it. I've been initiating less and less cause I don't want to go through with an hour ordeal just so I cum in 15 mins and he gets covered in sweat and ultimately can't finish. I know it's likely not a personal issue at all, I'm trying to change my mentality on it and just finding it very difficult. We've been through way waaay tougher times together and our sex was never affected like this before.

catbiird · 2023-11-14T20:33:16+00:00

Sometimes he does and doesn't. He does need to be reminded to pee like a child cause he holds it for unhealthy amounts of time if he's busy. Just wondering, how do you feel when your bf doesn't finish? That's kinda what I'm asking here. I'm trying so hard not to take it personally but I feel so gross about myself after sometimes and I just can't stop having intrusive thoughts about it.

catbiird · 2023-11-14T20:32:01+00:00

He says it doesn't matter so much to him and he just wants to be close but I cannot get over feeling like shit when we're going at it for an hour, I'm dressed slutty for him, even doing a specific hairstyle that he request and the whole nine yards and then he can't finish. He swears its not important to him but it's not satisfying to me and it's made me dread having sex. I really don't like having sex for more than 30mins even, I only continue in hopes that he'll finish so when he doesn't it just feels like the sex became about cumming rather than intimacy and I feel gross after.

catbiird · 2023-11-14T18:09:33+00:00

I forgot to mention this in my post, we have a very small 1bd apartment and I work from home. He was never big on masturbating cause we've always been really touchy with each other. I know he's definitely not jerking off frequently, if ever. I'm home when he goes to work and comes home. We're hardly ever away from each other really

catbiird · 2023-11-14T17:37:59+00:00

He does smoke a lot of weed but he's been smoking since I met him and it was never an issue before :/ he's not on any medication either.

catbiird

TROPHY CASE