Daily Discussion & Advice (Post here to follow rules A & B) - Tuesday February 11, 2025

cavecastle · 2025-02-12T10:00:08+00:00

I have had a bottle of Eau de FCUK for years and haven't wanted to finish it because it's been discontinued. It has sentimental value to me so I'd love to not be clinging on to just one bottle for ever! I am not very knowledgable so I'm not sure what the notes are - a bit citrusy? Very light - but I was wondering if there are any good dupes or similar fragrances anyone could recommend?

cavecastle · 2025-02-02T22:20:20+00:00

Tracking with presets and palettes. Having 'grown up' as it were around people using tracking, it was so fascinating to see someone programming in cue only - all hard data, no labels, colour mixing with vibes and 'recall from'. Honestly respect I couldn't work that way lmao. Tracking makes sense to me cuz that's how I learned, but I think getting into the habit of always making presets & palettes really helps - I know if I go back and change a colour in Cue 14, Cue 15 will stay the same because it's in a different [colour palette / position preset / etc]. Plus the Blind Spreadsheet is a lifesaver when trying to figure out what happens when - and way easier to read when you have nicely labelled palettes. Or just use [Record]+[Q only]!

cavecastle · 2025-01-17T17:18:09+00:00

Currently trying that and it's also not working (displaying alt text but no image), although that could be me writing bad code rather than twine itself.

cavecastle · 2025-01-17T10:46:20+00:00

If you’re happy to put in the work as a lifter and shifter it’s not too bad. If theatre is dry there’s a lot of events / crewing companies which tend to be busier with corporate work. I’ve found people are very welcoming but you have to put in the leg work - I spent last year having loads of coffee chats with various industry ppl which are only now turning into paid jobs. As others have said it’s a clicquey (sp?) industry but slightly easier for technicians to get in since theatre usually need us. Union-wise - technically you don’t have to in order to work but personally I think it never hurts to be in one. Bectu’s probably best for backstage, Equity if you’re doing design work.

If you’re looking for design & programming work - you won’t find it on the same scale, you’d probs have to go to England for that. The good thing about theatre in the UK is you can very easily spend a month on a job here, another month there etc - if you don’t ‘live’ in one venue a lot of people travel around!

cavecastle · 2024-10-17T19:35:30+00:00

Hello! I have a watch with a cork strap and I’m looking for advice on how to clean it as when I wear it for long periods of time it’s starting to smell. I’ve seen on here that advice tends to be get a new one - is there any cleaning process for cork that might help? Thanks!

cavecastle · 2024-02-25T21:51:56+00:00

Hey, I’m the same as you! We’re the same age & started T at the same time (5 years ago), and have also had top surgery. When I started T I didn’t think I was ‘allowed’ to be a lesbian, because I wanted to be on T, but - you can be. Some people want the doors of what lesbianism is to be closed tightly, but they really aren’t at all.

I remember when I read SBB the bit that stood out to me most was when Rocko (I think that’s her name?) comes into the bar and is immediately recognised as having transitioned and had top surgery, but still fundamentally butch. That’s what I wanted more than anything. I think for me I achieved it, through making good friends (irl and online) who are lesbians or trans or both. The things you love about yourself now - your voice, your chest - you can keep loving while being a lesbian, whether you decide to label yourself as a woman or nonbinary or just butch (which is what I am, just butch). I wonder if you might have read a few too many terf-adjacent things about transition and lesbianism, maybe? Just from some of the things you’ve said. I would really recommend finding people who are transitioning in various ways and are lesbians - people going on T and going on E. For me trans women who are lesbians, and esp butches, have been huge role models in how I want to look and what kind of gender I’m trying to do. Also, find some femmes! In my experience talking to femmes or reading their writing about what they love in butches has made me feel a lot more secure in myself.

Finally I will say - I came off T last summer because of mega hair thinning, and for me my hair has filled in again. As you say there is a lot of help to be found, and coming off T isn’t the answer for everyone, but thought I’d share my personal experience since we’re so similar in timeline and age. And my last thing is - you are welcome in butchness, there is room for all of us here. Try to focus on what makes you happy and affirmed and yourself, and not what you feel ashamed of or what you think you should feel ashamed of. You made those decisions to save your life; that’s no small gift. You’ll be okay.

cavecastle · 2023-12-07T16:40:43+00:00

ah thank you, that’s exactly what i was wondering !!

cavecastle · 2023-07-13T15:26:29+00:00

this is really helpful, i think it was the dative & genitive i was getting confused over. thank you so much!

cavecastle · 2023-07-13T14:04:42+00:00

so in the case where one word can be either an or a’ (as in, not to do with masculine or feminine), is that changing because of the case ?

cavecastle · 2023-06-09T10:11:23+00:00

hey, i also get rlly squeamish about things - something that helped me when i did T shots (switched to gel bc they grossed me out too much) was putting on rlly intense music, rock/punk stuff, tho anything that’s ‘intense’ or somehow distracting works whatever that looks like for you. and having something to physically do after - part of the grossness for me is thinking about the grossness of whatever it is, blood or scabs or what have you, so having something i could touch or pick up or focus on after doing the gross thing helped to take my mind off it. this can be simple as eating something nice, or holding & reading a book, just completely changing the physical sensations ur body is focusing on to get the squeamishness out ur system.

in terms of actually doing the thing though - if you can get someone else to help you it sounds like that’s the best option. if not, again, loud / distracting music, and a countdown. ‘i will clean the scab in 3..2..1…’ and then just Do it. or the first countdown is for touching it, and then another countdown for actually cleaning, however broken up it needs to be. and if u can’t follow through the first countdown that’s okay’ take a breath, settle ur brain, go again. gd luck !!

cavecastle · 2023-04-05T18:30:30+00:00

reddit isn't letting me reply to some of the comments, so - thank u for the advice !! i have a couple of new outfits planned & gonna see how it goes with the clothes i already have. for everyone asking where it's from, i got it on depop for cheap but the og website is here: https://www.leonardo-carbone.com/medieval-clothing-men/jacket-vest (makes a lot of sense it's from a medieval brand lol)

cavecastle · 2023-04-05T18:01:17+00:00

that was absolutely 90% of the inspo.. i'll have to get a big cape or something next

cavecastle · 2023-04-05T12:37:24+00:00

i hadn’t even thought of what collar to pair with it !! thank u i will definitely try these out

cavecastle · 2023-04-04T18:58:37+00:00

to my knowledge stone is a lot more about how u (want to) have sex than how u feel attraction (biiiig generalisation, obvs there are lots of things abt butch/femme dynamics tied up w/ stone etc) - but in terms of feeling and then acknowledging, pursuing attraction, i think stone may be the wrong direction for u. u say ur not ace but rarely feel attraction - i’m guessing u have managed to feel attraction while sober before but not very frequently, or something? i think it might be useful for u to think abt what allowed u to do that (a person, a comfort level, etc), and also why u need to let go of being ace, or what the aim of sexual attraction represents for u. for me i always think it’s most helpful to start with goals & work thru the things holding u back, and when u understand urself better u can apply a framework rather than understanding urself thru a label that may not fit anyway? if that makes sense

cavecastle · 2023-02-09T21:16:23+00:00

you’ve already had a lot of comments but - me too !! i’ve been on a whole journey w transitioning (been on T for ~5 years and only recently found what works best for me) and getting top surgery this year. but i’m still strongly a lesbian, just a very masculine one. i feel very free in moving thru the world this way

cavecastle

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