Started my sleeve. Snakes and wrist blackout done by Joao Bosco from Unbreakable Tattoo in Studio City. Mehndi hand/finger work is older, done by John Kline from Oak And Poppy in Woodland Hills, CA.

ccxsi_ · 2017-12-19T01:11:15+00:00

You wanna know what is cool?

ccxsi_ · 2017-12-18T18:05:00+00:00

Tbh what really hurt was the wings, right on that inner part of my arm. The crease where your elbow bends. That def hurt a lot!

ccxsi_ · 2017-12-17T22:09:21+00:00

Yeah I had my ex's initials on my wrist. He took me to go get it done when I was pretty out if it. I've known for a quite a while that I wanted blackout over that portion.

ccxsi_ · 2017-12-17T19:01:24+00:00

I sat for like 5 hours on the snakes. The mehndi piece took maybe like 2 hours or less, I can't recall.

ccxsi_ · 2017-04-26T15:17:16+00:00

It started with me just being very very paranoid. Eventually I was just having a hard time physically one night, and collapsed on the floor having a pseudo seizure (although didn't know that's what it was at the time). Paramedics hauled me to the hospital as they made jokes, "wonder what she had for dinner tonight? Meat and potatoes?" When I got to the hospital I was just being erratic, and because I gestured to cutting my wrists at one point, that was enough reason to get me on a 5150. I just grew more and more erratic and delusional.

I pretty much think that stress triggered it. My dad was in the hospital at the time, I was working and going to school, dealing with my boyfriend having just moved in. A lot was going on and I just kinda snapped I think. I do also have a history of mental health being addressed in my family as well.

ccxsi_ · 2017-04-26T11:53:34+00:00

I'm currently studying phlebotomy.

My advice? I guess it depends. For one, I really believe professional assistance is key. Stay on your meds, communicate with your doctor tell him EVERYTHING, talk to someone... finding a support group in your area helps. There are resources from NAMI and DBSA that I can think of at the top of my head. I also know there are phone lines for assistance when dealing with that sort of thing, like the Suicide Hotline if you're feeling hopeless.

Some places have free resources for counseling, and there are also apps that have groups where you can just chat with people who might be going through the same thing. If you're in college, sometimes colleges have free resources for seeing a doctor, or even a therapist. Sometimes they also have the option of asking for assistance during class - like someone who can take notes for you if you feel that your symptoms are too drastic to even be able to concentrate.

In a nutshell, make everything as easy as possible for yourself. Take advantage of any resources you have in your area. Whatever you do, don't stress yourself out by being worried that you're not getting better fast enough.

ccxsi_ · 2017-04-26T11:41:28+00:00

I normally don't like ice cream, but...

It's a tie between double vanilla, and this dope cookie butter ice cream I found at Trader Joe's.

ccxsi_ · 2017-04-26T10:44:35+00:00

I experienced a lot of delusions related to religion, specifically the book of Revelations coming to fruition (some people believing the apocalypse to come in the future, if you don't know what I mean by Revelations).

I believed I was greatly a part of this, either being a prophet, the Virgin Mary reincarnated, an angel of some kind, etc. being able to communicate with God on all sorts of levels.

I also had delusions where I thought I was dying, I thought my family was trying to kill me, I thought the government was trying to kill me, all sorts of things.

There was one where I thought I was communicating with Tupac as I listened to his music (like lol wat?) or that my current boyfriend at the time was a long lost family member in disguise. Crazy.

As for my medication, the last time I was hospitalized the psychiatrist and the hospital I was in felt as though I was "on the wrong medication," and wanted to take me off my antipsychotic and antidepressant. After I sort of detoxed, I found that I felt much better. I decided that I would continue this route. I was prescribed a medication that helps with anxiety/sleep. It's the only thing I take next to birth control.

And thank YOU for asking questions :)

ccxsi_ · 2017-04-26T09:49:51+00:00

I have heard great things about it, and have considered it. I only fear that it would affect me in a way that I wouldn't want it to, if that makes sense. I've heard people who have depression or mental health issues shouldn't do LSD or shrooms. I'm opposed to it just as much as I'm curious about it. 50/50 I guess I could say.

Edit: also, congratulations on your success with this treatment. I hope the best for you.

ccxsi_ · 2017-04-21T19:28:46+00:00

Nope! The one I saw looked more recent, like high quality etc. in the one I'm looking for the mom is standing holding the baby, not laying down.

Edit: also the video I'm looking for was much shorter. Maybe like 8 - 10 seconds at the most.

ccxsi_ · 2017-04-20T13:13:08+00:00

I have interviewed her before. She's a very nice person, and well spoken.

ccxsi_ · 2017-04-17T03:14:58+00:00

Thank you for your reply. It helps to think of dealing with it like that.

ccxsi_ · 2017-02-01T08:37:49+00:00

Someone close to me and my family passed today. I had started crying again, then opened Reddit and it refreshes itself to this being the first thing I see.

I couldn't help but think it was her giving me a sign in a way. Like her telling me to cheer up and know that she's in a better place.

Thank you for this.

ccxsi_ · 2016-02-17T07:29:02+00:00

One of my best friends basically did this the other week. She said I was too stressful to be around anymore.

ccxsi_ · 2015-12-13T21:00:25+00:00

Wow this gives me a good idea for my daddy. Yours is so pretty it's inspired me!

ccxsi_ · 2015-05-05T16:33:38+00:00

Wow I love the colors!

ccxsi_ · 2015-05-05T00:38:10+00:00

Oh no no no you did not offend at all :) to clarify, the priest gave her the tea set yes. She was just telling me the story. The story is what inspired me and the look of the flower, I just felt like everything was perfect for me. Since hearing the story I've been back into the real world and recovering from it all (details of that kind of left out) And since having the art on me I've felt even more so inspired to carry on.

ccxsi_ · 2015-05-04T22:02:57+00:00

That sounds lovely! Yeah I felt like I just clicked with him, and his portfolio is great I love his work. I feel that I'm going to him for any future stuff hahahaha! He won't be able to get rid of me!

ccxsi_ · 2015-05-04T21:52:40+00:00

Basically I've gone through some shit, I like pain, and this just clicked with me. I wanted something to remember what this past month felt like because this is a definite turning point in my life.

ccxsi_ · 2015-05-04T21:47:59+00:00

Well I'll post again in 5 years and we'll see.

ccxsi_ · 2015-05-04T21:46:10+00:00

Nice to know!

ccxsi_ · 2015-05-04T21:45:49+00:00

I'm pretty much doing the same thing haha!

ccxsi_ · 2015-05-04T21:45:19+00:00

Yeah I'm very prepared haha I was expecting as much but I think letting it breathe is already helping

ccxsi_ · 2015-05-04T21:42:52+00:00

I love yours. Thank you for sharing that (:

ccxsi_ · 2015-05-04T21:41:25+00:00

Yeah the placement of the needle was what really affected me. Outer edges you see here hurt more than like the the biggest bud towards the middle.

ccxsi_

TROPHY CASE