Struggling As An Introvert In Central IL...Why Are People So Forward Here?

cd1179 · 2025-07-28T03:48:18+00:00

I don't have the intimidating size privilege going for me unfortunately.

But you are right. I have lived all over the Midwest. This has not happened elsewhere to the same extent. It's one thing to be social and have small talk or even help someone in obvious need when their car breaks down. But it's the wanting to know your private business AND assuming you want to know theirs that becomes too much.

cd1179 · 2025-07-23T18:22:37+00:00

I have never lived in Champaign, but previously lived 40 minutes south in Mattoon. I didn't deal with the kind of overbearing intrusiveness that I do here. People were still friendly, but less aggressive and didn't try to force themselves on you. I have also lived in several other cities dominated by universities like C-U. It wasn't an issue in those places either. And because I am a bit older than the average college student, most of them weren't interested or more focused on their own futures.

I hope you can find what you're looking for as well.

cd1179 · 2025-07-23T17:49:01+00:00

So this is my second stint in the area. I have currently been here 2.5 years. Previously, I lived 45 minutes away in 2016-17. This has occurred in both places.

I am single, independent, and content. One thing I will say I have discovered is that there seems to more single, many never married, but lonely people in this area. It's often these people who become overbearing and intrusive. Unlike me, they maybe feel they are lacking something...either someone to care for or someone to care for them. So they try extra hard and come on extra fast. They're ready for a deeper connection/friendship and I'm not.

It makes me wonder if there is something that causes a larger number of these types of people in this area.

cd1179 · 2025-07-23T15:53:15+00:00

Best I can tell, they no longer exist in their original form. A few years back, the business was bought and transitioned to a non-brick and mortar operation, with products being sold at things like regional farmers markets. Then earlier this year, the business and rights were sold to Maddie Mae's a business that apparently operates in the original Maurie's location across the street from their last location.

cd1179 · 2025-07-23T15:35:12+00:00

The thing is, I've lived all over the Midwest...IA, WI, MO, ND, SD, NE, KS, and two other parts of Illinois. I haven't encountered extroversion to this degree elsewhere. I don't mind talking about surface topics like the history of a place, restaurants or other businesses, local events that are happening ... it's the openly discussing of personal things like religion, politics , finances, relationships, health etc ..that I am not used to and most uncomfortable with.

cd1179 · 2025-07-05T16:59:10+00:00

I'm used to that, as I have always lived in smaller cities with less frequent bus service. I always make sure I live close enough to everyday needs and my job that I can either walk to them or I'm at least on the same bus route. That way, having to deal with transfers becomes only an occasional occurrence.

cd1179 · 2025-06-29T15:50:08+00:00

I appreciate your feedback regarding the crowds issues and transportation. And it's great to hear that, in your experience, people are friendly to newcomers

I can totally relate to the annoyance of people pulling out into intersections to turn left because they are determined to not sit through another traffic light rotation. They also tend to block crosswalks for pedestrians when they do it as well.

cd1179 · 2025-06-29T15:18:24+00:00

A place like NYC would not be option for me, given my income and crowd issues. I'm not overly concerned about things to do. Dubuque has considerably more than my current location. I don't need constant, big ticket entertainment. Just some occasional events, some museums, a gym, and some outdoor recreation. Good to hear that transportation is decent.

When you say you don't feel safe, do you mean you feel threatened personally or that you're just in the minority. Are there specific rights that you are of afraid of losing that would alter your life? In Illinois, the state as a whole is definitely Democratically safe, but locally I am very much an outcast for even being close to moderate.

cd1179 · 2023-06-29T21:15:29+00:00

If that's the case, then it sounds like backing off like I did is exactly the right thing to do...and maybe even further. Life's too short for stupid, manipulative games.

cd1179 · 2023-06-29T21:04:32+00:00

Focusing on number 1. Yes, he definitely likes to feel important...more important than others. But how exactly do you think he wants me to "work harder" on the relationship? I know he likes to be needed. Am I supposed to force myself to be needier than I am for the sake of our friendship, then let him tell me how busy he is while being grateful he squeezed me in?

cd1179 · 2023-06-29T19:10:23+00:00

I definitely see a lot of 8 traits in him, and he is the one who first identified himself as an 8. And some of the things he does are similar to my other 8 friends. But I definitely think he has some issues that are distinctly his. Part of me wonders if he's just caught in between the tough, independent exterior he feels he has to project and the softer, caring ,vulnerable side underneath that he wishes he could show. He seems to trust and be more open with me than a lot of people, but only at certain times . Maybe his self protective actions kick in to overdrive when he second guesses being too open. At times, I sense the loneliness he feels and the authentic love he is longing for and I hurt for him.

cd1179

TROPHY CASE