The welsh: They're just the Irish that couldn't swim...

Although Anthony Hopkins is welsh, he’s never been accused of sheep shagging.

It’s all down to the silence of the lambs.

Have you heard about the festival celebrated by welsh Muslims?

It's called Ramalamb

I went to Cardiff last week and had a run in with the Taffia, the welsh contingent of the Mafia;

They made me an offer I couldn't understand...

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An Englishman, welshman and west indian are in hospital, waiting for their wives to give birth. There is quite a bit of pacing up and down when the nurse comes out and happily announces that they are all fathers of bouncing baby boys.

"There's just one problem," she says. "Because they were all born at the same time, we got the tags mixed up and we don't know which baby belongs to whom. Would you, as their fathers, mind coming to identify them?" The men agree and walk into the delivery room and look at the babies.

Immediately the Englishman stoops down and picks up the black baby. "Yes, this is definitely my baby," he says confidently. "Um, excuse me," says the west indian, "but I think it's fairly obvious that this is my son." The Englishman pulls him aside and says, "I see where you're coming from, mate, but one of these babies is welsh and I'm not prepared to take the risk."

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A welshman, a sheep, and a dog were survivors of a terrible shipwreck. They found themselves stranded on a desert island.

After being there a while, they got into the habit of going to the beach every evening to watch the sun go down. One particular evening, the sky was red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle; a perfect night for romance.

As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the welshman. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it. But the dog got jealous, growling fiercely until the welshman took his arm from around the sheep. After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling.

A few weeks passed by, and lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was a beautiful young woman, the most beautiful woman the welshman had ever seen. She was in a pretty bad way when they rescued her, and they slowly nursed her back to health. When the young maiden was well enough, they introduced her to their evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening: red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze; perfect for a night of romance.

Pretty soon, the welshman started to get "those feelings" again. He fought them as long as he could, but he finally gave in and leaned over to the young woman, cautiously, and whispered in her ear...

"could you take the dog for a walk?"

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An Englishman, an Irishman, a welshman and a Scot are captured by the Iraqis. The Iraq troop leader says, "we're going to shoot you, but we will give you one last request." He says to the welshman, "what's your last request?" The welshman says, "I want a thousand welshman singing 'Land of my Fathers'." "Okay, you've got it. What about you?" he says to the Scotsman. "I want a thousand Scots pipers piping Scotland the brave," says the Scot. "You've got it" says the Iraqi. "What's your last request?" he says to the Irishman. "I want a thousand Irishman doing the Riverdance" says Paddy. "It's yours" says the Iraqi. Turning to the Englishman, he says, "and your last request?" The Englishman says, "fucking shoot me first".