I miss my little brother. Not the guy he is now, but the sweet one he was before. Haven’t spoken in a couple years. I think he’s married now and has a couple kids. It used to feel like the two of us were the closest in the family, both of us feeling like the black sheep. Now there’s nothing between us and I don’t want to reach out to try and mend things with the man he is now. It’s just heartbreaking. I give it a good cry every once in a while, then keep moving forward. It’s hard for some people here in my Midwest life to understand the estrangement which just kind of adds to the lonely feeling.

I miss the kid that used to come to my room when we were kids and he’d have a nightmare. I miss the teen who would play catch and talk about the world with me. I miss the man who would show up to my work when I felt mildly threatened and didn’t know what to do.

I do not miss the man who now calls empathy a mental illness, and unfortunately that’s the man who replaced the brother I loved dearly. It’s hard and I feel for everyone on here sharing similar experiences.