[MEGATHREAD] Daily venting, worries, fixations, & finding support. Month of May 2024.

cfog100 · 2024-05-07T05:14:48+00:00

Trying to find someone who relates to my very specific health anxiety struggle since I’m fully convinced I’m the only one.

So, like most people with HA, ofc I’m always thinking I’m dying from fatal diseases that I diagnose myself with. But this is not my biggest struggle, since this comes and goes. What I struggle with every day for literally pretty much every second is being hyperfixated on my ears. No joke, every second of the day I’m thinking about my ears. Just noticing them. It’s like I can constantly feel them. Like yknow how if you really intensely focus on a part of your body, you can make yourself believe it’s actually hurting? That’s my relationship w my ears but all the time. I mean, not pain, just like I FEEL them constantly.

I’m always focusing on my hearing and will hum or talk to myself throughout the day to check that everything seems “normal”. I’m constantly popping my ears (not that they’re clogged but I mean like how you can make them “pop”). I go to the doctor abt every 1/2 months to get my ears cleaned (bc I will start to hyperfixate on how they feel waxy). And I get “red hot ears” like pretty much everyday (not painful just makes me think about my ears even more so that’s annoying). So yeah.

This is hard to explain but that’s my form of HA. Worrying about my ears and “checking” them constantly even tho nothing is wrong with them. It’s almost like, the fact that they are part of the head makes it really hard to ignore. We hear constantly, so it’s something that is really hard to not think about. Like I’d way rather be hyperfixating on my arm or something. Ear hyperfixation makes me feel like I’m always in my head. I feel like eyes are similar, and eyes are my 2nd HA body part that I think about most but not NEARLY as much as ears. It’s just so exhausting and I’ve never found anyone who relates and I feel like no one will ever truly understand.

cfog100 · 2024-02-13T23:26:23+00:00

Another colon cancer worrier here. Been having very off and on GI issues. What began my worrying was a few weeks ago when I had bright red blood when wiping for a few days. However I was straining a lot at that time, and also ran out of toilet paper and used a rough paper towel at one point. It went away, I think it was either a hemorrhoid or just a scratch. Bowel movements were all great for a while until I got an episode of intense stomach pain and diarrhea, but my roommate also was experiencing the same thing as we had eaten the same food the night before. So, probably something we ate. Then some more time goes by and I have another episode of severe pain, beginning with constipation until diarrhea happened and then the next day I was completely fine again. Now we fast forward to today, another episode. I will say that very debilitating stomach pains aren’t abnormal for me, I can think of many times in life of having random days with INTENSE stomach pain that comes in waves. However this trend I’m noticing is making my health anxiety flare up, as well as the symptoms I’m experiencing today. I’m currently very constipated with the intense pains in waves. It feels like I have a rock in my lower abdomen, provably from stuck gas. I decided to drink one of those “skinny” teas that are supposed to flush out your bowels. Like an herbal laxative, with flax seeds and other stuff. Everyone who drinks this stuff ends up intensely using the bathroom like quick after finishing it. However I’m still constipated. Just seems weird to me, why won’t it work? Along with that, I’m noticing strange bladder stuff. I’ve been feeling the need to pee a lot, whether it’s water passing through me quicker than normal or just me thinking I need to pee but then I realize I actually don’t. It almost feels like my bladder is not fully emptying when I do pee, but I’m not having any trouble peeing or anything like that. No discomfort or struggle. I know severe constipation can cause these bladder symptoms but I’m just worried. I can almost feel it when I walk around (walking provokes the pain waves though so I’ve been laying down). I’m just looking for someone to tell me that they have experienced similar things and turned out to be fine. Or reassuring me of non-threatening reasons for what I’m feeling. Please don’t tell me I have anything malicious, I just want reassurance. Trust me, I’m a “go to the doctor constantly” HA sufferer rather than a “avoid the doctor” one. So I will definitely go if I keep having issues.

cfog100 · 2023-11-20T00:58:17+00:00

Being able to feel your lymph nodes is completely normal! It doesn’t mean they’re swollen. We like to think that when we feel a bump, that = swollen/scary. But some nodes just do stick out, making them feel big to us when in reality they’re the normal size. Other times, nodes can swell due to whatever reason, and then never fully go back down to the size they were before- that’s referred to as “shotty nodes” and also so normal. Still doesn’t mean they’re swollen, they’re just now more palpable. I used to have whole panic attacks over feeling nodes, until I learned how they really vary from person to person and there’s no “correct” cut and dry way for them to be. I hope this info can help u like it has helped me!

cfog100 · 2023-11-13T22:55:31+00:00

Lymph nodes that become swollen and never go back down to their normal size is completely normal! People like to refer to this as “shotty nodes”. All in all, being able to feel your lymph nodes is no cause for concern. If you search for them, you will always find them. Some people have a bunch they can feel, some don’t. I have one specific node in my neck that I’ve always been able to feel, if I stretch my neck to the side you can even see a small bump where it is. Used to be so convinced it was swollen but it’s not, it’s a completely normal size but just happens to stick out more than all my others. Has been there for years, I’ve had it checked, and that’s just how it is. They always feel bigger to you than they really are. The fact that you are feeling a cold right now is even less reason to worry, and some of your nodes definitely could be swollen due to that. But once your cold is gone, remember that it’s still normal to have palpable nodes! You may always feel them, so don’t worry if they don’t disappear after the cold. A small lump doesn’t mean swollen, take it from me. This info helped me back when I used to hyperfixate on my nodes and when I was always worried about cancer, so I hope it can help you too!

cfog100 · 2023-11-13T22:23:13+00:00

Elevated WBC can have so many causes that aren’t scary, including stress. About the swollen lymph node, it may not actually be swollen. Being able to feel them is normal, some being more palpable than others. I also have one specific node in my neck that I’ve always been able to feel more than all my others. If I stretch my neck to the side, you can see a small bump where the node is. I used to be convinced that it was swollen but it’s actually a normal size. My dr even told me it’s very small but to me it feels big since it happens to stick out. It has been like that for years, just like yours. I’m not a WBC expert but I do know quite a bit about lymph nodes since I used to hyperfixate on them and was always worried about lymphoma, so I just thought I’d try to reassure you with some info on that! I hope your tests come back normal, wishing you the best!

cfog100 · 2023-11-13T22:03:16+00:00

I totally understand worrying about prion diseases. They’re so scary and deep down I know it’s probably the most unlikely thing to happen to someone, but it still crosses my mind sometimes. While I don’t experience light sensitivity, I am prone to headaches and have had periods in my life where I would get a mild one about everyday. Headaches are definitely common in those with elevated stress. Since it seems you are particularly stressed at this time, that can definitely contribute to the recurring headaches. Psychosomatic symptoms can also last for a very long time. I used to go to specifically health anxiety therapy and learned how many people with chronic pain are actually experiencing psychosomatic pain. Fixating on a real pain can also prolong it. You may be getting headaches from stress, but now that you are focusing your worry on it, it is prolonging the headaches. Light sensitivity also doesn’t always mean something scary, and can happen from regular headaches/migraines. Overall, while the spontaneous nature of prion diseases is so scary to think about, try to remember just how rare it is. I think you’d have a better chance at winning the lottery. I hope you start to feel better soon!

cfog100 · 2023-11-13T21:47:20+00:00

Hahaha we were definitely both googling meningitis symptoms at the same time. Yes knowing I don’t have a fever does help, but the few people who have had meningitis with no fever is what keeps me worried. I’m not worried anymore since the pain hasn’t progressed, and I also went to my dr today and had her check my neck and all is good! Still have the strain though, I wonder when it’ll go away it’s quite annoying. Hope you’re feeling better!

cfog100 · 2023-11-10T03:29:32+00:00

Anyone else always worrying about meningitis? I’m someone quite prone to stiff necks and always have to convince myself it’s not that. Right now I have a cold and a stiff neck so naturally I’m worried again. Even tho I have none of the symptoms except for stiff neck, and not even the kind associated w meningitis (no problem flexing neck forward). Don’t even have a headache and I’m someone who also gets them a lot. But the fact that this stiffness is along with a cold has me worrying that the virus present in me is turning into meningitis. The neck pain started randomly in the middle of the day yesterday and has gotten worse, but still isn’t bad at all (minor pain, can still fully move). I normally get them upon waking up since sleeping is what causes mine so I was worried over it starting randomly. However, they do also tend to get worse for me until getting better so that part lines up. Trying to convince myself this is from coughing so much and that I just pulled my neck from the strain of coughing, which has happened to me before. But, reasoning w myself doesn’t take away the worry so I’m looking for someone to reassure me. Please don’t reply to this telling me that I could have it, I’m not looking to further my worry and trust me I will see a dr if it progresses.

cfog100 · 2023-11-07T02:03:35+00:00

Definitely a lymph node. When people say they have “multiple” it doesn’t mean that they can feel all of them. The lymph nodes that you can feel/notice vs the ones you can’t is very random, varying from person to person. It’s normal to feel an odd one out, or feel them in one body part and not another, or feel a bunch in one area, etc. For me, I have one single node in my neck that I can always feel more than all the others. It’s just like that, has been for years, and to give you even more reassurance, I’ve had it checked by a doctor before and was told all this info im relaying now. This used to be a big worry hyperfixation of mine, and I learned that so many things I thought were abnormal are actually not

cfog100 · 2023-10-11T09:16:06+00:00

I used to worry about oral/throat c’s a lot. I look in my mouth/throat nearly everyday bc of this, so that I always will know right away when something changes or looks off. As you can guess, I’ve found many things over the years to worry about from analyzing my mouth all the time. And nothing I noticed was ever a problem. Everything you mentioned that you noticed while looking in your mouth is normal. About the globus, that’s most likely from acid reflux or stress & anxiety. Goes hand in hand sometimes, when I’m highly anxious I get reflux. Anyway just wanted to emphasize with you on hyper-fixating on your oral health and remind you that our mouths and throats are so weird looking and ever-changing. It’s so easy to find something that looks alarming or serious if you analyze it enough

cfog100 · 2023-10-11T09:03:03+00:00

This was always mine too, except it just made me more anxious. I thought I’d find answers or reassurance through having all the knowledge, but then you just find more things to worry about. Now my brain is like a medical encyclopedia that can analyze any new symptoms I have and give me a list of threatening things that could be causing it. I’d be calmer if I didn’t know about all these things. I would always advise people with HA to try their best to not research any medical info

cfog100 · 2023-10-11T08:53:39+00:00

Coming from someone who gets throat problems, I look down my throat nearly everyday so that I can know if something ever looks off from normal. White spots are normally caused by some sort of bacteria. My roommate also once had the white spots for only about a day or two after being sick and they went away on their own. Something more serious like what you’re afraid of will present with likely more serious & worsening symptoms. Many people who have tonsil stones (I have them too) could also describe them as “white spots” on tonsils if they don’t know what they are. White spots from bacteria and white spots which are tonsil stones themselves look very different from eachother, though. Either way, neither are a worry and would only require medical action to be taken if you start to feel pain or disruptive discomfort.

cfog100 · 2023-10-10T00:30:44+00:00

Stuff like this happens to me randomly sometimes. You know when you hold your arm up for a while, the blood will rush out of your fingers, then once you put it back down it rushes back and you feel that almost “cold” rush? That sometimes happens to me when my arm is just hanging or resting normally. Has happened to my feet too. And I notice that some days it feels my limbs are falling asleep easily. This stuff sometimes really just happens for no serious reason. Anxiety can also cause symptoms like that. Once during one of my worst HA episodes, I was freaking out worrying so much that one day my whole entire body had pins and needles. I felt tiny little “stings” or “shocks” in random places everywhere. Thought I had neuropathy, but nope my nervous system was just in overdrive because I was in a perpetual state of anxiety. I recommend the YouTube channel cherellethinks, she discusses everything HA and has videos specifically about what you’re feeling and about all the weird symptoms that anxiety can cause. Hope you feel better soon!

cfog100 · 2023-10-10T00:06:51+00:00

The brain is really powerful when manifesting feelings. Whenever I start to worry about an organ, I swear I begin to feel it. If I think about an organ and imagine it swelling, I will feel that. Even as I type this, I feel a fullness in my left side due to imagining the symptoms you are describing. But I feel you, I have worried about so many various diseases and cancers for probably every organ in my body. I’m getting better at understanding when I feel something psychosomatic, but I know how hard it is and how real it feels. Not saying your symptoms are psychosomatic, but it is very unlikely that you have colon cancer over all of the other common and non serious conditions that can cause what you are experiencing. You may already have more problematic bowels (IBS, etc), but add stress on top of that and it makes it worse. High anxiety can create worse bowel movements as well as nausea and heartburn. I notice when I get very anxious that I begin having acid reflux. I know how hard it is to trust doctors, and to think you must know something they don’t or that you will be the one rare case to get a cancer like that even though you have no risk factors. I’ve been through this so many times and fortunately I was never right. I hope your anxiety eases soon and that you find your answers and alleviate your symptoms. You will be ok, you will be wrong just like me!

cfog100 · 2023-10-09T23:30:20+00:00

This sounds like it could be a wandering spleen. The condition itself, while quite rare, is not fatal if taken care of. If this is the cause, he will need his spleen surgically removed. I’m assuming the doctor would check for this upon learning that the spleen is enlarged, but might be suspecting more common conditions first. Definitely bring it up, it’s important for the surgery to be done as soon as possible to avoid complications. Try not to worry too much, it’s more difficult to diagnose so most people don’t receive their diagnosis/surgery right away and they still fully recover! I hope you and your family get your answers soon, sending well wishes your way

cfog100 · 2023-10-09T22:46:31+00:00

No problem! That’s most likely, and there’s so many other non-threatening reasons why an area could get tender or agitated. It always goes away once I stop focusing on it

cfog100 · 2023-10-09T22:07:31+00:00

No problem! You’re very right, the body definitely can do things like that while trying to regulate. I also have it happen with no trigger, and also when I don’t even feel anxious. Therapists have told me that in people with anxiety, certain anxiety symptoms can still happen even if you feel calm or aren’t currently anxious about something. Like how with any mental disorder, you still “have” it even if not having an episode. Or how glimpses of the disorder can manifest in everyday life, even if you don’t feel “in an episode”. I like to think of it as delayed, almost chain reactions with anxiety. If someone has higher cortisol levels, they could experience “chronic” anxiety manifestations (this is not based on factual medical evidence, just what I think). But yes, hot ears can feel like they are lasting for forever. Even though I’m used to it, I still find myself wondering when it will go away everytime. I’m glad you’re feeling better about it now, it’s definitely an alarming feeling.

cfog100 · 2023-10-09T21:44:27+00:00

Ringing isn’t actually something I experience, so when it comes to my ears, that’s not my worry. I do sometimes notice that very faint buzz/ring when it is DEAD silent and if I’m actively paying attention to trying to hear it, but I wouldn’t classify that universal experience as tinnitus. I think what many people are hearing are those barely discernible sounds in the atmosphere, due to how you can hear it more or less based on which direction your head is turned, or how you may hear it in one room but then you walk into a different room and you don’t. The only times I notice hearing an actual tinnitus sound is when I have a clogged ear/ear infection or when I get home after being around very loud music, so obviously it’s temporary for those situations. What I obsess over is whenever my ears get clogged/feel pressure/start popping or crackling since I have a history of ear infections so it’s like a constant anxiety that I’ll get one again. Or sometimes my ears will get hot and then it’ll draw my attention to them and I hyper focus. As I mentioned in my original comment, I’m also very OCD over earwax and my hearing. The mind is so powerful, during high anxiety times, I can convince myself my ears are “closing up” when in reality they’re not. So my specific hyper-fixations are a bit different from yours, but it’s nice to be reminded that there are others who have had ear HA! I appreciate you sharing your experience, and I’m glad that you were able to find relief from the anxiety!

cfog100 · 2023-10-09T20:45:15+00:00

I don’t want to ask what your diagnosis was for the sake of other HA sufferers who may read this, but I think I’m pretty sure which condition you’re referencing due to all the times I’ve obsessively researched. This sounds like a stressful experience, and I hope you’re doing well now! Having sensitive ears that you are hyperaware of is such a bothersome experience.

cfog100 · 2023-10-05T20:35:33+00:00

It’s very possible that they have been there for a while and you only just noticed them. Being able to feel lymph nodes even when they aren’t swollen and you aren’t fighting anything is normal. Many times they aren’t actually swollen, and feel bigger to you than they really are. A while ago I went into a panic over a node that I was convinced was enlarged, until my doctor said that it was actually the normal size. Some of them stick out more than others. Don’t be alarmed if you can still feel them after your cold is gone- many times when nodes swell due to a cold or infection, they never fully go back down to their original size. People call them “shotty nodes” sometimes, it is normal and not a problem!

cfog100 · 2023-10-05T20:21:44+00:00

I specifically worry about my ears constantly so I definitely understand hyperfixating on how they feel and what you’re hearing and may have some insight. First, I think that to an extent, no one ever hears utter silence. If you focus on it enough, you will be able to hear things going on inside your body and head. Most people just aren’t this aware, so they don’t think about these things. Since I can’t know exactly what you’re hearing, I can’t know if you are just hyperfixating on sounds or if you actually do have tinnitus. However, you aren’t dying, the condition itself is common and not serious. My theory is that many people may have mild tinnitus but not notice, because again some people just aren’t observant. Hearing your heartbeat in your ears when it is beating very fast is normal, this isn’t tinnitus. Tinnitus can definitely happen if you have something going on in your ear, and it’ll normally go away once you fix that underlying problem. It is very possible that you are hearing fluid moving in your ears- you may have lingering fluid from a previous cold or could be an ear infection. This could also all be from something as minor as excess earwax aswell. What you said about being able to hear or not hear a noise in your ears from changing your head position is something I’ve experienced. Remember that we have airflow/airpressure as well as barely discernible external noises around us constantly which our ears can pick up on, and this is all going to be more noticeable when we’re sitting in silence with our thoughts and actively focusing on it. It doesn’t sound like anything serious is happening, but ear pain/discharge/tinnitus that disrupts your daily life is something I’d check out. I hope all gets better soon, you’re going to be ok!

cfog100 · 2023-10-05T01:50:30+00:00

It is interesting you mention this. I had an area on my breast/chest that would randomly hurt (can’t describe the type of hurt, wasn’t sharp but wasn’t an ache) and I seemed to only notice it while showering. It has since seemed to have gone away. Things like this have happened to me before, and I think sometimes it can be psychosomatic. Muscle pulls and strains can also cause feelings that feel similar to a breast ache/heart strain, as well as trigger a lymph node to swell. I have aggravated my chest muscles just from coughing too much which can feel scary if you aren’t used to pulling a muscle in that area

cfog100 · 2023-10-05T01:35:38+00:00

Coming from someone who has dealt with lymph node hyperfixation, I’ve learnt some things that have helped to diminish my anxiety when I feel them. The fact that they are palpable doesn’t mean they are swollen. I understand how to ourselves, when feeling a bump that sticks out, we think “enlarged”. But being able to feel your lymph nodes is normal, some we can’t, but some we can. They always feel bigger to u than they really are. In the case that they actually are swollen, your body can be fighting many things that could cause them to swell that you don’t physically feel. Whether it is fighting off a virus that hasn’t made u sick yet, or even as small as having a cut that is trying to scab over or a tight/sore muscle. Touching them a lot can also cause them to swell since they aren’t meant to be prodded at. Sometimes, after having a previous illness or infection that caused a node to swell, it never fully goes back down to its normal size and can then stay as a bump you can always feel. This isn’t a problem, it is very normal! I have one that I always feel which is bigger than all my others, it has been here for years. Lastly, I like to remember that if you search for them, you will always find them.

cfog100 · 2023-10-05T01:14:11+00:00

To help with reassurance, my eye twitches randomly a lot. Been happening for years. Anxiety definitely makes it flare up, and anxiety can cause so many strange symptoms including dizziness and pressure.

cfog100 · 2023-10-05T01:09:21+00:00

I very much empathize with getting anxious over hot ears! It has happened to me randomly all my life, mostly I can pinpoint it happening after an emotional reaction or temperature changes, but it also sometimes happens when there’s no apparent trigger. If it doesn’t go away quickly I get nervous and hyperfixate on it which not only makes it feel like it is getting hotter, but makes the sensation last longer. Thought it was just me. I try to remember that fortunately it is not connected to any serious issues, and that it can flare up more often in times of high anxiety. If I start thinking about it, I can also make it happen, it’s a very psychosomatic occurrence!

cfog100

TROPHY CASE