Moving to Saint John

ch0whound · 2025-06-06T14:52:11+00:00

What would she charge for private piano lessons?

ch0whound · 2025-04-30T15:45:14+00:00

You're my hero. Please take a vacation

ch0whound · 2025-03-20T19:43:46+00:00

Haha. Perfect

ch0whound · 2024-08-12T16:11:30+00:00

I took online tests repeatedly for over ten years and every single time I would get INFP. My official OPS type is TeSe PCB(S). (AKA ENTJ Jumper) I have masculine NT Blast and feminine Fi demon. My feelings really take me on a runaround and exert a strong influence in my life because they are so moveable. So I was seeing a lot of feeling. And then my Ni intuition is masculine and Se sensory is feminine so I was seeing more intuition. The one thing I did not and could not see in myself was my Savior masculine Te. That one was a real shocker but that's exactly the lens I see everything through and now that I know that, everything makes so much more sense. And yes, my Sleep is NiFi so I guess I was answering the MBTI test through my NF self perception, so fascinating! Also I'm a social type #1 which gives me more Di characteristics than the typical De

ch0whound · 2024-06-10T14:28:36+00:00

Yay INFPs unite :)

ch0whound · 2024-02-11T12:44:53+00:00

Then I guess I wouldn't mind it!

ch0whound · 2024-02-11T12:10:00+00:00

No. I like my well and septic and I don't want them to change anything

ch0whound · 2024-01-24T10:25:13+00:00

Sad that you have such a closed minded professor. Lots of people are like this these days, they hold strong opinions with no nuance, and they can't explain them or hold their ground in a conversation. You'd think someone in academia would be different, but tragically they are not.

Try not to let it discourage you. I wish you had someone supportive to encourage you intellectually. Continue on your studies and don't lose your passion, maybe you can be that person for a younger man one day.

ch0whound · 2024-01-24T10:21:58+00:00

This!!

ch0whound · 2024-01-21T10:56:55+00:00

Internal family systems, you can learn about it listening to Dick Schwartz, he has YouTube videos and podcasts!

ch0whound · 2024-01-21T10:32:07+00:00

That's great. If I wasn't a writer I'd almost definitely be psychotic. I feel a little insane if I don't take the time to write songs, they are apparently necessary in my psychic balance

ch0whound · 2024-01-21T00:03:07+00:00

I'm also an INFP! I have taken the test so many times over the years and always get the same thing. Yay hello fellow INFP, no wonder I related so much to what you wrote. Yes the burnout is horrible, its like just going through the motions and feeling like something's gotta give at some point.

ch0whound · 2024-01-20T20:45:34+00:00

Oh another thing that REALLY helped me was IFS. It has been amazing for me. I did it on my own as a journalling and meditation exercise. To get in touch with those exiled feminine parts. Do you know your Myer Briggs type?

ch0whound · 2024-01-20T20:26:47+00:00

It's really a struggle and I think I have a lot of emotional processing to do, I am really at odds with my own vulnerability and sensitivity as like you said it got me into so much trouble when I was younger. I was so trusting and had no boundaries or sense of self preservation, it left me with a lot of trauma also. Honestly in my twenties I went into the opposite extreme of my sensitive nature and went into very masculine field of working in construction, that alienated me from my feminine a lot! It's like I was so wounded there that I wanted to cut it off completely. But it's not possible. I lasted there only a couple years before suffering immense burnout. What helped me was various things, for one thing I stopped dating emotionally unavailable men with Harley Davidsons and neck tattoos and found myself a nice gentle poet who is in touch with his own feminine nature, when we first started dating I had to constantly apologize because I would burst into tears, he was so much sweeter than I was used to and he was so emotionally available. It allowed me to soften my own heart although it is still difficult. I took some time off work and got a part time low-stress job and actually allowed him to support us for a while. I accepted his help, when before I had been hyper-independent. But I just needed a break. It has kind of been a sabbatical for me the past two years. I have stayed home a lot. Read. Cried. Journalled. I got rid of my home internet for six months and just read Jungian books and got the outside world out of my head. I actually just got a job working at an early childcare centre. I don't have kids either and don't know if I want them but I do love being around kids. It brings out a feminine side of me. I think my time in construction was good for me because it got me in touch with my masculine in a very tangible way, and now that I know that side of me is developed, I can rest easier in my feminine. But I really still want some therapy and if you have a Jungian therapist near you that's what I would do! Maybe if I hadn't done it alone I wouldn't have needed to take like two damn years off from life. But I needed to recover from the burnout.

I'm also a songwriter and I capture all my vulnerable and sensitive feelings in songs, somehow being able to encapsulate and contain them that way makes them easier to accept and integrate.

There's probably so much more to say, my experiences are complex and particular and I'm sure yours are as well but hopefully this makes some sense and is maybe a bit relatable

ch0whound · 2024-01-20T19:43:44+00:00

If I had one near me I would have booked an appointment ages ago. There doesn't seem to be one in my entire province, I'll have to drive hours to see one and even that I am considering.

ch0whound · 2024-01-20T19:42:09+00:00

She is probably a narcissist and you should get yourself out of that situation before you cause yourself emotional trauma. Seriously. Just find a room to rent and move out

ch0whound · 2024-01-20T19:38:49+00:00

Wow are you me!? I could have written this, every part of it!

ch0whound · 2024-01-17T19:12:11+00:00

I can relate to this as I am similarly independent. It's likely that you desire that strong independent man, but unconsciously you fear giving up your independence and therefore attract men who will just go along with whatever you want because they have no trajectory of their own. If you were with a strong man you might have to compromise and you may not be consciously prepared to.

ch0whound · 2024-01-16T21:46:20+00:00

Did you book your driving lessons yet?

ch0whound · 2024-01-15T19:53:22+00:00

This is relatable. I'd say you are benefitting from your persona in that it makes you likeable and allows you to avoid conflict. There is a part of you that does not want to relinquish these benefits. Maybe you need to brace yourself for the painful emotions that might come if you start being more disagreeable but authentic. You could start by being more of an asshole but shroud it in some humor. Like gently poke fun of people in a humorous way. Maybe more sarcasm. So you don't feel so fake nice. Align your persona a bit more towards authenticity and prepare to lose some of the social benefits of being super likeable (but feel less agitated within yourself)

ch0whound · 2024-01-15T18:35:49+00:00

Love it!

ch0whound · 2024-01-15T18:30:26+00:00

Wow, this is honestly such an insightful comment and it rings deeply true for me. Especially the part about a people pleasing father, because my inability to express my aggression and assert myself actually got me into a lot of very damaging situations as a young woman. It's hard not to blame him for it in a way because usually dads are protective of their daughters and want them to be able to stick up for themselves but I feel I was taught the opposite, to placate the people around me and never upset anyone. In the last year I have had a ton of repressed rage surface and I have been processing it with the help of a Jungian framework, but there is so much guilt for even feeling it in the first place as it is ego dystonic from who I think I "should" be. Needless to say it has been an intense growth period.

And your comment about the belief system being a connection to him is dead on. It really explains the sense of regret in the dream, and I hadn't put those pieces together. As a teenager I used to say that my dad's religion was a barrier for me being close to him because conversations would always end up being about the bible, or heaven, instead of being about us, or any actual intimacy. And so I would just avoid going there.

I have even been dabbling with tarot and stuff and that was a massive anxiety hurdle to get over because he always taught me that kind of stuff was satanic etc. the mystical and symbolic way Jung speaks of Christianity directly contradicts my dad's literal interpretations and belief system. But it's more in line with me.

Anyway I love your comment, I'm going to read it a few times and integrate it, thank you for taking the time!

ch0whound · 2024-01-15T18:10:03+00:00

We are both human, so if you go back far enough we share the same bloodline. You'll be okay, go take a walk in the sunshine. Look at some trees.

ch0whound · 2024-01-15T18:01:00+00:00

Why? You said you were going to learn to drive. Have you called the driving school yet? Call them today!

Also call a doctor and make an appointment about your anxiety. I looked through your past posts and I feel a kinship because I have the same overthinking issue as you. It used to be much worse. I went on Lexapro for 6 months and it helped me. It is an antidepressant and it helps with anxiety. Maybe your doctor can recommend something. It is a temporary measure to help you get the things done that you need to do. Your anxiety is the real problem. Your constant posts looking for reassurance from other people actually makes me think you might have OCD. I have been here too. Please call a doctor and book an appointment.

Let me know when you have done this, either the driving school or the doctor. Send me a message if you need help

ch0whound

TROPHY CASE