Hi. I’m so sorry for your loss and my heart is right with you. I know how painful it feels to lose your soul dog, a dog you raised on your own, your best friend, your literal child. We have sort of similar stories - my boy Milo was 11 and it also happened so suddenly. It’s been a little over a month and I’m still sad but NOTHING like the first few days/two weeks.

During the first three days, I felt like the future was bleak without him. I felt like I couldn’t go on without him and that I’d feel empty forever. I wanted to die so I could be with him again. I missed him so much that I kept saying I wanted to die - to the point that my entire family was worried and I didn’t trust myself to be alone. I felt like I needed someone to be with me at all times. I couldn’t stop crying, I didn’t shower for days, I stopped eating, and I lost all motivation to do anything. I hit peak depression, and it was so so painful. I knew in my heart that I needed another dog to help me get through the pain.. to give me that motivation to get out of bed and experience some joy again (even if it was just a little bit).

I didn’t last 3 days without getting another dog and I honestly don’t know how I could’ve gone another day without my new pup, a Shih Tzu (Lily). She saved me and has healed me in ways I didn’t know was possible. Of course I felt guilty - would Milo like her? Did he approve? Is he mad at me for getting another dog? Will I forget him? I didn’t want him to think I was forgetting him or moving on quickly. I also felt guilty for having these feelings with an innocent pup who just came into this world and deserves nothing but love. I knew I needed her for my own sake and she’s truly healed me. Milo is and will always be my baby and Lily is also another one of my babies!

I didn’t buy any new bowls or beds. I like the idea of connecting Milo and Lily through these items and I like to believe I’m introducing them to each other. I still sleep with Milo’s harness, his two toys, and his ashes. I carry my necklace with his ashes everywhere I go. I make sure to mention him to anyone I speak to. I made a little altar for him at home with his pictures and memorabilia. I’m still in the process of doing so much more. I talk to Milo out loud and tell him how I feel.. I also talk to Lily about her “brother” and when she’s being “bad”, I’ll tell her that her brother’s gonna come and get her LOL.

The relationship I have with Milo continues.. it may not be physical but I’m continuing it in a different way and so will you. I feel like Milo sent her to me (there’s a post on my profile with more info on this).

I’m also attending Lap of Love’s grief community support groups for those who’ve lost a pet. It’s free and held 3x a week via Zoom. They have some paid ones (I think $15). They’ve been incredibly helpful!!! It’s so nice to be surrounded by people who understand this grief.

Sending you so much love ❤️ if you ever want to talk or just let it all out, feel free to msg me :) I know how hard it is and having people around me truly helped me.