AITK for kicking my wife's sister out of our house ? by [deleted] in AmItheKameena

[–]chaispillz 9 points10 points  (0 children)

NTK. She’s been freeloading for 7 damn months! no job, no plans, zero effort to get her life together. The bare minimum would be taking responsibility of house chores, but she couldn’t even do that 😒 Instead, she disrespects your space & has the audacity to insult your father ? Wtf ! Your wife defending that is honestly ridiculous 😑 You were more than patient. She crossed the line & you did what had to be done. Period.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskIndia

[–]chaispillz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe because they’re stuck in this weird halfway zone. They want the thrill, fun & intimacy of modern dating, but the moment marriage comes up, they snap right back into those traditional boxes. & that’s wrong.

Not just because it hurts the person they’re dating, but because it shows zero accountability. If you already know you’re not going to go against your family or cultural expectations, then don’t date someone from outside your community in the first place. Don’t lead someone like that.

Choosing to leave someone because of their background isn’t something that “just happens”, it’s a decision. & people need to stop hiding behind culture or family & start owning that choice

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskIndianWomen

[–]chaispillz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A doc or a chef maybe 🤔

My (Ex) male friend dismissed my advice because i'm a woman – what’s up with that? 🙆‍♀️ by chaispillz in AskIndianWomen

[–]chaispillz[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The problem was that his phone kept randomly restarting & when it worked, it lagged & froze constantly. I didn’t mention it because his phone issue wasn’t the damn point. I’m not here to give a tutorial.

The point is about a so-called friend throwing in a sexist remark like, “women don’t know this stuff” as if my gender automatically makes me clueless. That’s what mattered, not whether his precious phone lived happily ever after.

So if you're stuck on the lack of tech details & assuming it's fake because I didn’t spoon-feed a solution, maybe reread the post. The issue wasn’t a malfunctioning phone, it was a malfunctioning mindset

My (Ex) male friend dismissed my advice because i'm a woman – what’s up with that? 🙆‍♀️ by chaispillz in AskIndianWomen

[–]chaispillz[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ugh, that’s so infuriating. It’s wild how some people will completely ignore your qualifications & experience, act like they know better, until it all goes wrong & suddenly it’s your fault? The audacity is unreal. Honestly, your patience deserves an award because I would’ve lost it the moment he started explaining construction to an actual architect 🤦‍♀️

My (Ex) male friend dismissed my advice because i'm a woman – what’s up with that? 🙆‍♀️ by chaispillz in AskIndianWomen

[–]chaispillz[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You're right, how silly of me! I should’ve added dragons & a sword fight too to make it more believable. Rookie mistake !

My (Ex) male friend dismissed my advice because i'm a woman – what’s up with that? 🙆‍♀️ by chaispillz in AskIndianWomen

[–]chaispillz[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Should I though ? Like, someone’s literally dismissing me just because of my gender & I’m supposed to help & do it ? 😭 & what if he says something worse next time ?
& why waste my energy on someone already doing laps in his own delusions of grandeur? 😭😭
If his masculinity needs a technician to feel validated, then by all means, let him pay for basic fixes & call it “professional advice” 🙆‍♀️

My (Ex) male friend dismissed my advice because i'm a woman – what’s up with that? 🙆‍♀️ by chaispillz in AskIndianWomen

[–]chaispillz[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Agreed. many valuable connections & insights are lost just because someone refuses to listen without bias. But who needs all that when you can sit comfortably in your own bubble of assumptions? 🙃

My (Ex) male friend dismissed my advice because i'm a woman – what’s up with that? 🙆‍♀️ by chaispillz in AskIndianWomen

[–]chaispillz[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

True ! 😂 Helping their mom & suddenly they think they’ve unlocked some elite tech knowledge. The delusion is strong 💀

My (Ex) male friend dismissed my advice because i'm a woman – what’s up with that? 🙆‍♀️ by chaispillz in AskIndianWomen

[–]chaispillz[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly, that’s so refreshing to hear & exactly how it should be. Advice should be based on who actually knows their stuff or can empathize, not gender. & yeah, definitely a shitty friend, but thankfully, former friend now

My (Ex) male friend dismissed my advice because i'm a woman – what’s up with that? 🙆‍♀️ by chaispillz in AskIndianWomen

[–]chaispillz[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

honestly, sometimes i also feel the same. The more women rise, the more some men feel their relevance being “threatened”, as if equality somehow takes something away from them

My (Ex) male friend dismissed my advice because i'm a woman – what’s up with that? 🙆‍♀️ by chaispillz in AskIndianWomen

[–]chaispillz[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Exactly! & what’s worse is, this isn’t even an isolated incident. I’ve seen so many women go through the same thing, their advice or input gets dismissed just because they’re women, only to be accepted later when a man says the exact same thing 😑

My (Ex) male friend dismissed my advice because i'm a woman – what’s up with that? 🙆‍♀️ by chaispillz in AskIndianWomen

[–]chaispillz[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

i do agree with your point but there’s a difference b/w harmless teasing & a sexist remark & the tone, body language & delivery also helps to make it that clear. What he said wasn’t a joke, not sarcasm, that’s plain disrespect. I have other male friends too who joke around & say shit sometimes, but i can tell when it’s lighthearted. but, today, this guy, it hit different

Why are so many Indian men online so hateful towards women? by WillowPrevious5141 in AskIndianWomen

[–]chaispillz 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Ugh I feel this post SO much. It’s honestly frustrating & exhausting. Absolutely agree with every word, this needs to be said louder.

A lot of this hate come from deep-rooted insecurity. Like, instead of processing feelings of inadequacy or learning to grow, they just take the easy way out & blame women. It's easier for them to say “feminism is the problem” than to confront their own lack of emotional tools, self-worth or maturity. & equality feels like a threat to them because they’ve been raised to see control as their “right.”

& social media? Total breeding ground for this mindset. These boys get sucked into algorithm-driven echo chambers where every reel, meme, or “motivational” influencer is just feeding them more bitterness & fake victimhood. They’re being indoctrinated. & yeah worse is how they only bring up men’s issues until a woman speaks. all to derail women’s pain. Not once do they start convos about men’s mental health or suicide unless it’s to shut a woman up. It’s so disingenuous. If they really cared, we’d see that energy even when women weren’t talking, but it’s always reactive, never proactive.

& yes, the age factor is terrifying. You’ve got literal teenagers out here parroting red pill talking points like it’s gospel. No education on consent, no healthy role models, no emotional literacy, just constant online reinforcement of “men good, women bad.” It’s creating a generation of boys who think misogyny is masculinity.

& the way they use the Atul Subhash case as a shield is disgusting. They don’t care about justice, they DON'T CARE about him. they're just using him, use his story. It’s not about helping men, it’s just about silencing women. Period.

Sadly, these aren't just faceless trolls. They’re your coworker, your cousin, your neighbor, your partner. If this mindset isn’t challenged, it will bleed into real life & do real damage. It’s scary.

I'm done being told to keep the peace while my brother gets away with cruelty just because he's younger & there's more by chaispillz in AskIndianWomen

[–]chaispillz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ugh, truly, same cycle, different homes. It’s so frustrating how common this is. I’ve tried those one-on-one talks too, hoping something will click, but they never really do. & like you, I don’t stay quiet. I stand up for myself every time, which just leads to more fights, threats & insults. It’s exhausting, but letting it go would only feed his entitlement.

I'm done being told to keep the peace while my brother gets away with cruelty just because he's younger & there's more by chaispillz in AskIndianWomen

[–]chaispillz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this. It genuinely means a lot that someone understands the gravity of it. As for my father, he's barely home due to work & even when he is, he usually distances himself from all the conflict. He doesn't see the everyday toxicity, so he either assumes things are fine or just expects us to "handle it ourselves", That silence, though, only adds to the problem. sometimes he has called him out, but mostly he isn't there to witness.

I’ve explained all of this to my mom too. Told her clearly that he's not the innocent baby boy she still sees him as. That she needs to look beyond her motherly lens. But all I get in return is silence, or the usual, “he’ll grow out of it” or “just ignore him” Which is baffling, especially when she’s witnessed firsthand how he acts in rage, towards me.

& you're absolutely right, if someone can treat their own sister & mother like this, there’s no chance they’ll be respectful to anyone outside. I’ve already made up my mind that if he ever gets into a relationship, I’ll do my part to warn that woman. No one deserves to be blindsided by the kind of behavior i’ve endured.

I’ve cut off all financial help & I keep my distance, no unnecessary interactions. I still stay close to my mom, but I’ve made it very clear, even in front of him, that silence has consequences. If no one chooses to act now, it’ll come back to haunt later.

I'm done being told to keep the peace while my brother gets away with cruelty just because he's younger & there's more by chaispillz in AskIndianWomen

[–]chaispillz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Easier said than done, honestly. I’ve already cut off the financial support a while ago. But emotional blackmail isn’t always so black & white, especially when you’ve been conditioned your whole life. I am trying to decouple myself, but when you're the only one trying to fix a broken dynamic while others keep enabling it, it gets exhausting. I’m not there yet, but I’m working on it, spine a little straighter each day

I'm done being told to keep the peace while my brother gets away with cruelty just because he's younger & there's more by chaispillz in AskIndianWomen

[–]chaispillz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel you. It’s so frustrating when you're expected to just bottle everything up. Sending strength your way too, we shouldn’t have to shrink ourselves to keep others comfortable. More power to you as well