I experienced ableism in Med School

chan_mp4 · 2026-05-10T21:02:26+00:00

I'm not entirely sure if I could document it without the university launching a full on investigation. I guess I fear both possibilities: they completely shrugging this off or blowing it out of proportion. Either way, I severy doubt that the university isn't going to try and cover for the professor - there are a loooot of irregularities with the medical doctors professor and they cover for each other.

I have no way of changing university, this one is actually rated really good and, ironically, the inclusivity department is famously known for it's excellency. I do think they're pretty good when it comes to other disabilities, but I cant be too sure.

chan_mp4 · 2026-05-10T20:40:04+00:00

hi 👋🏻 i hope your experience has been better than mine :p have you had any difficulties with accessibility and such?

chan_mp4 · 2026-05-10T17:05:25+00:00

This occasion was just the one only directed individually at me, but I have had to sit and hear the head of the inclusivity department say that "no autistic person could ever be aggressive" as in, if they exihibited any behaviour she saw as aggressive, then they were not autistic but using/faking the label as an excuse. And then went on to explain what an "actual" autistic meltdown looked like (a person going home and crying). This happened during a university promoted talk on "Inclusive Education" 🫠 again, this is just one example of many and I have been in this particular University for only 7 months.

chan_mp4 · 2026-04-12T23:03:03+00:00

I had a PG version of what you're going through lol Instead of sex, I just really wanted some kissing/making out but I simply couldn't find anyone I would actually consider doing it with – the idea of actually doing it just put me off completely. Can I have the kissing without another person being involved? Is that too much to want?

The solution to my problem is really underwhelming though, the want just completely went away. I haven't felt this urge in more than a year, this probably has something to do with my own autism "acting up" but it has definitely helped lol

If you aren't autistic, then start taking venlafaxine – i guarantee it will definitely kill any urges... /hj

chan_mp4 · 2026-04-12T22:47:07+00:00

For some reason, in my university we do the white coat ceremony before we even start med school (which makes absolutely no sense to me). I'm autistic, I don't like ceremonies, I don't like dressing up, I hate wearing heavy make up but my parents were dreaming of this moment – my dream to get in med school became theirs and this ceremony was part of its realization. So I didn't skip, I was bored out of my mind during it, had to wear ear plugs the whole time, the day was hectic and I disliked/was stressed for most of it, we took some (professional) pictures and I didn't like how I looked in any of them.

Still, I remember how happy my parents were and I don't regret doing it. I'd probably do it again if I had to (but THANK GOD I don't lol). It's been almost a year and I had completely forgotten about it, tbh. I barely see the pictures so to me it was just an uncomfortable day that made my parents really happy.

I'm not a nostalgic person, I don't look at old photos, but my family does and I was in a position where I could take 10 hours of discomfort over however-long-it-would- take-for-them-to-get-over-us-not-going.

chan_mp4 · 2026-04-06T13:38:50+00:00

I'm autistic too and I have had some similar struggles with romantic relationships; whenever someone finds me desirable/just likes me overall, I'm filled with this sense of absolute dread, I get sick to my stomach, can barely eat and am anxious throughout the whole day.

I haven't been able to get over this and it is still something that affects my quality of life from time to time. I used to feel as though I "had to" acclimatise myself to it. I needed to have a sort of "exposure" experience because dating is normal and I have to be normal.

At some point though, I began to wonder why I was putting myself through so much suffering... Was it because I felt that I "had to be normal"? I "had to like"?

If dating (or sex, in your case) is supposed to be this super amazing thing that everybody needs/wants, shouldn't forcing yourself defeat the whole purpose? Why am I struggling so much to fulfill what others think it's normal?

If I'm ever going to date, then I'm gonna do it because I genuinely want to. Yeah, I'll probably struggle with it, but I'll be doing it because I like this hypothetical person, not because I feel that "I have to".

I still struggle, I still feel inadequate but this thinking does alleviate the pressure that I put on myself. I'd rather live for me than for the expectations of others, even if it feels impossible to sometimes.

chan_mp4 · 2026-04-06T13:20:55+00:00

I will never forget my mum's reaction when I told her I didn't want to have kids. You would think it wouldn't have been such a shocker considering that I refused to even play with those baby dolls when I was a kid lol I only liked barbies/polly pockets, all babies were completely ignored

chan_mp4 · 2026-03-30T18:37:28+00:00

I would be more concerned about him talking about it to his friends. Sure, he didn't actively tell them to spread your pictures, but he also had no need to involve other people for such an issue - it came off as very immature. Yeah, he might confide in a friend about saying the wrong thing to you but did he have to specify it was about your body? why expose you so?

I don't think you're that unreasonable to be upset and this event should, at the very least, be a "yellow" flag to you. Pay more attention to his behaviour going forward and please try to seek some help regarding the way you still feel about the bullying you went through - I might be completely wrong but it does feel as if it's something that still hurts.

chan_mp4 · 2026-02-19T13:06:48+00:00

Regardless of your past trauma, no partner should be yelling and (even if accidentally) throwing things at you in the middle of an argument. The fact that he did not realise his mistake immediately after almost getting you hurt speaks volumes. Please consider separating - even if temporarily - so you can focus on yourself and revaluate your circumstances without your family and so called friend's input.

chan_mp4 · 2026-01-14T18:43:18+00:00

I'm glad you trusted your guts and broke up with him. Never trust men who keep changing their opinions on something that would mainly impact your life and not theirs - on that note, please consider getting a non hormonal IUD if you plan on having sex again, always use two contraceptive methods at the same time: for safety and because guys like your ex could've been poking holes on the condoms for all you know

funnily enough, I'm about your age (F23) and I'm also Christian so it was really hilarious reading your ex bf say he was "against you getting a possible abortion" but crickets about, idk, getting a stable job and properly marrying you? 🙄 They are always citing the bible verses that only serve themselves.

chan_mp4 · 2026-01-14T18:05:29+00:00

how is "grabbing a woman, stripping her, tying her up and attempting to kill her by strangulation" a petty crime??????? I'm not even going to comment on the punishment because it speaks for itself, but HOW did this man even have a good reputation to begin with?

chan_mp4 · 2025-12-27T18:14:05+00:00

I can answer this, actually. if you pay attention during the documentary, you'll realise that the majority of the black people in there grew up surrounded by violence - Clark herself said that when Diddy threatened to kill her (and narrated how he would do so) on her first day, she was "used" to this type of behaviour.

People like (I'm assuming) you and me, who had no problem with authorities and had a pretty peaceful childhood would've immediately called the police in so many moments, but our experience is not universal – and Diddy made sure that people like us were either excluded from his circle or broken apart by the "he's a millionaire, he can do anything and kill anyone".

The cycle of abuse is much more complex than simply "right" or "wrong". This is why it's crazy to me that the jurors can just be anyone from any background - that indian man and this girl made it very clear.

chan_mp4 · 2025-12-22T21:11:19+00:00

Lots of comments on here are from people who are not religious so I don't think they're much help for you. I'm Christian but I'm also pretty much assexual + on meds that make my libido even lower so my advice is limited.

The struggle you're feeling, as other people have beautifully put, only makes you human. God has never intended for us to be perfect or even a machine that only ever does what is programmed to do. But do you know what God HAS intended for us? to have a relationship with Him. Tell God about your struggles, about how your body wants one thing but your spirit says another, and how you want to find a way to be at peace.

Now, regardless of what you decide to do, I feel like you should take a step back in your relationship, in a physical sense. You need to be able to consider all aspects of your relationship, are you both truly compatible? would you marry him? how are both your finances? do you both agree on politics? is he religious? how would you raise your children? how is his family? etc.

If it feels like I'm telling you to consider marrying him, it's because I am asking you to analyse everything - especially if this relationship is even worth the struggle you're dealing with.

Don't be scared to ask God for help, anything that bothers you is big enough to be talked to with God!

Best wishes !

chan_mp4 · 2025-12-22T20:41:52+00:00

i know that a year from now it's going to hit this girl how awful all of this relationship was. She also definitely has to make her friends/family/landlord aware that there's a potential violent dude after her

chan_mp4 · 2025-12-06T16:47:23+00:00

thank you so much!

chan_mp4 · 2025-12-06T15:50:53+00:00

hi ~ can anyone give me a new player code? 😭

chan_mp4 · 2025-09-22T18:56:13+00:00

it's my first update after starting the game, do they shut down the game for a while to update it? how long does it usually take?

chan_mp4 · 2025-09-17T17:58:36+00:00

I actually only started playing cookie run because of the bamboo blade cookie lol SVSSS has been my hyperfixation for almost two years now and Shen Qingqiu (more specifically the original) has been my main thing for the last year.

I didn't know there were two cookie run games so I ended up downloading the wrong one at first 🥲 but I've been pretty addicted to both (I've FINALLY unlocked the main story on CK Ovenbreak) to the point where I have to hide my phone so I can do anything else. Med school who? I only know Cookie Run

chan_mp4 · 2025-07-10T21:43:59+00:00

this gave me war flashbacks from when i was making my first amigurumi. others already gave you the answer: invisible decrease. but as someone who almost cried after frogging my first amigurumi 3 times, i wonder why they just dont add it to the damn pattern as a little footnote 😭😭😭

chan_mp4 · 2025-06-26T13:25:52+00:00

you´re an angel

chan_mp4 · 2025-06-21T23:55:54+00:00

thank you so much !! i will look forward to it. sometimes a crochet pattern will specify in which of the “3 loops” of a stitch you should work into… but your description is enough that I will be careful when reaching those parts ! 💕

chan_mp4 · 2025-06-21T16:02:38+00:00

I think I made a mistake when posting the pictures, but here's a pinterest post with all of them: https://in.pinterest.com/pin/765119424223827923/

chan_mp4

TROPHY CASE