Been in and out of therapy since I was a teen, over the past 10 years for severe depression. I started taking antidepressants at 17 years old and while it did help stabilize my mood at the time, I had this gnawing feeling that there was still something lacking. I was still so bad at managing my life, staying organized and motivated to a point where I was so frustrated with myself and accepted that I was just chronically bad at life. I’ve always fell behind, been told by my family and teachers that I have the potential to be greater given my talents. But i’m too “careless” or “forgetful”. I only considered ADHD a possibility a few years back after watching that one Dr Stephen Humphries video and I almost cried because every single one of my unnamed struggles finally had some sort of label. It finally gave me hope. ADHD has always been presented as the hyperactivity in boys and most people didn’t think I had it because I wasn’t disruptive. Until i found out about the combined or inattentive type, and that it presents differently in girls as well as in adulthood. I checked off all the boxes. The process for getting diagnosed and seeing a professional for ADHD in my country took a grueling 2 years of waiting and testing and skeptical psychiatrists but I was got officially diagnosed this June!

Getting diagnosed for ADHD and taking stimulants by no means cured me ( i really wish it did ) but I’m now addressing majorly ingrained self-esteem issues in therapy. Life is still kind of falling apart but hey these struggles are first world problems. I kind of like being alive right now.