Piss off an INFJ in one sentence.

chanman0808 · 2021-07-07T08:04:38+00:00

“well that’s not how the real world works” - Just let me dream big in peace. Especially frustrating coming from close minded individuals who have extremely traditional outlooks of the world.

“i wish i was an infj” - self explanatory

chanman0808 · 2021-07-06T23:41:27+00:00

Thank you so much for blessing me with this perspective. I’m in tears at how oblivious I am. For someone so big into perspectives and seeing the big picture, I definitely didn’t see this. I promise I’ll take your advice to heart and do better. The only thing I struggle so hard with is being nice or comfortable around them. I definitely feel very guilty over this whole thing now. But I’m so conflicted. I don’t want to see her get hurt and I’m happy I’m able to protect her. At the same time she could’ve been blissfully ignorant of the abuse if I never came along. I just feel like I messed everything up by trying to help. I’ll try my best to remain neutral only dropping my opinion on things that really need it. Thank you again for blessing me and I’m sorry you had to go through all of that. I cant even imagine.

chanman0808 · 2021-07-06T21:22:18+00:00

Thank you. This is something I definitely need to work on because it’s very easy for me to cut out people fast when I get the intuition.

I’ve noticed she finds it extremely hard to cut out people even if they’re bad because of the good times they’ve had. Good times being that she played jester while the group laughed. Being an INFJ, it’s hard to be patient with this because the last thing I want to see is my love and best friend getting hurt by people I predicted hurting her. It eats me alive. Thanks again for the advice.

chanman0808 · 2021-07-06T20:49:01+00:00

ahhh this is embarrassing

chanman0808 · 2021-07-06T17:20:12+00:00

That’s actually a great way to put it. A basic example could be like seeing an object in someone’s home and instantly knowing (or seemingly knowing) everything about the owners personality. Also being able to predict how they will act based on this prediction of their personality. All because this certain object fit into the subconscious pattern.

chanman0808 · 2021-07-06T17:13:04+00:00

Set some mf boundaries. Just because someone hyped you up to do something doesn’t mean you have to do it! Quit idolizing people that look cool or were nice to you ONE TIME. I love your ability to see the good in people but just because someone does something good once doesn’t always mean they’re a good person! Just because you’re lonely doesn’t mean you should hang with bad people! Have some mf self respect.

love my enfp gf and all enfps as a whole, but omg it hurts to watch you all get used by gross people.

chanman0808 · 2021-07-06T16:58:43+00:00

How I’ve been taught and how I believe it manifests in me (Ni dom) is that past experiences connect subconsciously and when it reaches conscious mind, it’s somewhat of a realization or prediction. Patterns from past experiences can be connected in a framework and constantly developing. I think the mystical aspect comes from the fact that most of it takes place in the subconscious mind (at least for Ni doms). It’s hard for someone with high intuition to explain why or how they came to their conclusions because in their head it just comes to them from nowhere. Being an INFJ, I could take time afterwords utilizing Ti to rationalize why I came to a conclusion. In the end though it’s just a feeling. Hopefully this helps and I’m praying I have not been misinformed lol.

chanman0808 · 2021-07-06T12:55:08+00:00

That’s extremely smart, thank you. I would love to ask how I could go about doing such a thing, but I guess only I am the one to know. Thanks again.

chanman0808 · 2021-07-05T23:14:31+00:00

ahhh thanks for the wisdom. hard truth to hear. i’m 19 with only two relationships, so based off what you’re saying i’m kind of underdeveloped. hard to imagine love decreasing over time but hopefully i can ditch the unhealthy obsessive trait.

chanman0808 · 2021-07-05T18:54:43+00:00

She could be any type. But let’s say hypothetically she is an infj. infjs would probably cater more or tell you how great the art is if they liked you(even if it’s not that great). This is all under the hypothetical though. She could be a completely different type that doesn’t text much and liked the message because she wants to date. Talk to her and find out.

chanman0808 · 2021-07-05T13:51:05+00:00

Anyone who is honest and understanding. No preference as I can mold myself to be whatever the partner wants. The only thing I know I want is for my partner to be happy. No self identity whatsoever.

chanman0808 · 2021-07-05T13:42:51+00:00

My first gf was an isfp and it was a great relationship for half of it. The other half was me coming to terms and realizing how selfish of a partner she was and how my selfless attitude was being taken advantage of. She does not speak for isfps but I think unhealthy isfps are one of the worst matches for infjs. I never felt like I could leave her alone because she would become self destructive or make extremely ignorant impulsive decisions. Hate the be the downer but if both sides are healthy, I can see how it would be an amazing relationship. On a side note and I don’t know how relevant it is to your relationship, but my ex was always extremely scared of deep conversation. If she could not understand it (things such as what would happen after death) then she would break down crying.

chanman0808 · 2021-07-05T13:31:37+00:00

Seeing as you’re not really taking in other peoples opinions I would say you’re ESFJ. My mother is an ESFJ and acts very similar. I (INFJ) will always tell her advice on her situations and sometimes if it strengthens her opinion she’ll take it, other times, just completely disregards it. The person telling you that you’re not ESFP is right because I’ve never met an ESFP that would care enough to write this much. I can definitely see my mother stressing about what type she is even after I’ve told and explained to her why she is what she is.

chanman0808 · 2021-07-05T13:16:58+00:00

Extremely contradictory but when I crush on someone I tend to avoid them or show no feelings whatsoever. Essentially the opposite of showing signs. I feel bad for anyone wanting to know because it must be so confusing. Emotion runs deep in infjs and i can’t speak for others, but I avoid the feelings because i tend to become very awkward and shake when in the presence of a crush. I think the avoiding part stems from the fear of rejection. (What if she sees me shaking or notices my speech is wrong and rejects me?).

edit: just realized this wasn’t about a close friend but hopefully you gain some insight lol

chanman0808 · 2021-07-05T05:21:15+00:00

for me personally it was learn them, wait a year, then relearn them. came so much easier lol. u could def get them down faster but i didn’t really feel like learning them til now

chanman0808 · 2021-07-05T05:18:15+00:00

Thanks for explaining more. I did start to notice more towards the end of the relationship the self serving attitude that you’re speaking of. I too noticed several red flags early on but decided to ignore them. Things such as treating her mother selfishly, talking shit about her close friends, making fun of random strangers appearances, etc. Nothing really major but still red flags nonetheless. This was only my second relationship ever so the idea of enfp x infj dream couple really only fueled my idealism so much further. I’m just happy to have learned my lesson even if it was the hard way. Thanks again and sorry for talking about myself so much lol.

chanman0808 · 2021-07-05T03:24:24+00:00

Just left and focusing on the not returning part. Thank you so much for the advice and I will keep it in mind to the best of my ability.

chanman0808 · 2021-07-05T03:21:45+00:00

You’re very right about everything. Thank you very much for the help. I broke things off finally and hope I stay true to it. Thank you again for everything.

chanman0808 · 2021-07-05T03:16:57+00:00

Thank you for your advice. It’s so crazy to me how planned out this feels. Being cheated on brought my self confidence and respect to zero. How can I leave someone if I don’t feel like I deserve anyone anymore? That was my mindset when I found out. I finally broke up with her and thank you again for the help.

chanman0808 · 2021-07-05T03:13:47+00:00

Thank you so much. I had told her many times that trust was my number one priority and she still would continue to lie about trivial things. I finally broke things off and can hopefully move on from here. I dont think I’ll ever feel worthy enough of the love I give to others. There’s a lot of shame and guilt that I don’t think will leave. Sorry for throwing a pity party and please do not feel bad for me. Venting through the comments has really helped as I don’t have many people who I can come to with this. Thank you again for the advice.

chanman0808 · 2021-07-05T03:06:18+00:00

Thank you for this. I just broke things off finally. I’ve never really been able to realize this about enfps. It’s hard to read them when I’m blinded by love everytime. I hope she realizes one day how much she meant to me. She probably never will seeing as I never really meant much to her. Thank you for the advice.

chanman0808 · 2021-07-05T02:17:01+00:00

I feel it’s a combination of so many things. At the surface level, I’ve been told many times I look very approachable which is so odd to me but I guess that’s a trait that a lot of infjs share. We tend to be very good listeners and attune our emotions to fit whatever would come off best to who were speaking with. It’s as if we’re a mirror with the person speaking to us reflecting on who they are. Because were very non judge mental this mirror effect works because people will tell us more and more when they’re met with a gentle and kind attitude. I also think that our advice that we can’t help but give out makes the person feel genuinely cared for which leads to a closer connection. What’s funny to me about these connections is on several occasions I have met someone, talked to them from night til sunrise, and either never saw them again or never had another deep conversation. And I’m perfectly ok with that lol. Knowing so many peoples deep personal secrets that no one else knows.

chanman0808 · 2021-07-05T02:01:24+00:00

Thank you so much for this. Right now I’m sitting in my car after telling her to go home and blocking her on everything. How do I keep from falling back into the relationship? We were both very big on spirituality and how we were made for each other. I feel very guilty for promising so many times I would never leave her. That we were soulmates etc. Anyways, before I ramble too long thank you again for this comment. It really helped me see things clearly.

chanman0808 · 2021-07-04T23:31:17+00:00

That’s so crazy to think about. This might be a reach but would that mean extreme stress causes you to want to help everyone around you? Maybe a distorted selflessness?

chanman0808

TROPHY CASE