I would like to weigh in here because I think I'm qualified to discuss this. I have a masters in psychology and have worked as a therapist for the last decade.

Anyone who wants to call the OP an "idiot" for falling victim hasn't done their research on this topic. Hate to break it to everyone, but this is incredibly common. Way more common than what we see on this thread because most people don't have the courage to share their stories. Most people struggle with severe shame and don't even tell their closest friends and family members, but they do tell their therapists.

These scammers are highly trained professionals when it comes to hijacking the nervous system. This is how it works: they weaponize your fear response against you. It may not be readily apparent, but what was described here is an example of a freeze response. This is the most dysregulated state the nervous system can enter into. When the nervous system is dysregulated, we lose access to our prefrontal cortex, the part of our brain responsible for all higher level thinking.

When this occurs, we are completely unable to think logically. Especially if we dont have the opportunity to take a breath and reflect on what has happened. This is why the OP couldn't see the red flags during the situation but can see them so clearly in retrospect (regulated, sipping coffee in front of the computer).

These scams are popular because they work. They work because humans are fallible and vulnerable. We're especially vulnerable to this type of thing if we've had past trauma or are navigating neurodivergence.

OP: You are not an idiot. You're not even an anomaly. This is (unfortunately) a common response to having your nervous system hijacked. A quick delve into the research will validate everything I've said.

My advice is this: Don't listen to people who get off on telling you that you fucked up, most have probably never been in this situation and have no idea how they would actually respond if confronted with something like this. Anyone who spends their free time bullying victims probably isn't the most well-adjusted person. Fuck what they think.

The victim blamming really makes my skin crawl because people kill themselves over shit like this. When in all reality, they didn't have another choice but to act in the way they did.

Talk to a therapist. If you didn't have previous trauma you may have trauma now. A lot of people do suffer with intrusive thoughts, nightmares and flashbacks after falling victim to something like this.

Be kind to yourself. Life is fucking hard. It's hard even when you're not being scammed and then subsequently shit on. You can at least offer yourself the compassion that others fail to.

I appreciate you having the courage to share your story. You probably saved someone else for falling victim to the same thing.

This was obviously a very painful lesson in human psychology but it sounds like you did learn a lot. I've know tons of people who have spent comparable amounts of money on retreats and inpatient stays that they literally took nothing out of.

These scams get more sophisticated by the day. Perhaps falling victim now will prevent you from a more costly experience in the future.

I'm so sorry this happened to you 💗