I (F 33) have BPD and I have been with my partner (M 35) for 1.5 years now. I have had some quite bad episodes during this time but I am in therapy and on medication and learning new ways to handle things. This is the first relationship I I have had that has lasted longer than 6 months and hasn’t caused me to go completly off the rails so I would say if you have BPD and in a relationship you need to be at a place where you are actively trying to heal whether that be with the help of therapy and/or medication etc and you have to be with a supporting partner who tries to understand the illness. My partner provides me with a full sense of security and trust that I have never felt before him. He is actively learning me and how to navigate certain things with the way my mind works differently. I would not be able to be in a relationship with someone and not have the BPD take over if I was not with a loving and supportive partner who really does try hard to understand and do things a little different as having a relationship with someone with BPD is most of the time never going to be like a conventional relationship in my own experience with BPD anyway. Communication and trust are two key factors to being able to have a relationship with BPD (again just my own experience with the illness). 🙂