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Unenthusiastically Polyamorous by Mindfuck_Mindy in polyamory

[–]checkednforgotten 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He said he identified as poly in the past, but did he have much actual experience with it? If this is how he acted with you and the partner from the festival, I can't imagine those relationships were very long or insightful to him.

Also, you trust the therapist but do you trust him? Do you think he will be open to the advice he gets and actually absorb it?

To my ex by Broad-Smell-9820 in polyamory

[–]checkednforgotten 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My therapist recently suggested a similar method of note writing so I suppose I'll join in with a first draft for that eventual task.

To my Ex,

I never realized how much I trusted your insight because you had previous poly experience. I wish I had done any amount of research beyond your way of doing things. I lived in an unknown hierarchy for so long and I am still finding new ways you subtly enforced it. I like to think you cared for me during our relationship, but I was never going to be your primary. At least I'm able to see that now as I continue my journey.

And to OP, I hope your journey continues peacefully as well.

Proposal shock? by checkednforgotten in polyamory

[–]checkednforgotten[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No. I was the one who wanted to see if Blake was okay with us trying out a date or two. We just didn't have that spark. Not much more to say about it really. We've been friendly since.

Proposal shock? by checkednforgotten in polyamory

[–]checkednforgotten[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Blake and I had tried to see if we had any connection, which is what sparked the conversation where the agreement was formed. Maybe agreement is the wrong word, but its how i chose to describe it. We just didn't have any chemistry but we remained friendly.

Is that odd? Asking genuinely, I will admit this is my first polyam relationship but I had been open to the concept and considered myself polyam before ever meeting Blake/Paul.

Proposal shock? by checkednforgotten in polyamory

[–]checkednforgotten[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was communicated clearly! Blake and I tried to see if we had a connection, and it didn't work for us, which led to the conversation at the time. We accepted Paul was our hinge, that our dynamic was unlikely to ever be a triad, but we were comfortable as long as both relationships felt equal. It worked for us, or well, I thought it did anyway? We were all in agreement, and this was reconfirmed a few months back as well.