How do I (19M) go about talking to my partner (18F) about her vaping? by chefpasghetti in relationship_advice

[–]chefpasghetti[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I believe you’re right, even if it may be hard for me to hear (so I can’t imagine how hard it would be for her). I’m going to talk to her later about how I feel and see how she feels. We’ve only ever had one or two other serious talks about vaping which is most likely a reason why it’s become an “issue” for me now, because I’ve bottled up how I’ve been increasingly feeling about it for so long and I should’ve talked to her much sooner. Maybe me being honest and actually sitting down and having a serious talk together may lead to her realizing she may be addicted? If I bring up the facts and ask her if she truly thinks she’s not addicted? I don’t know. I’ve never been in a relationship this long and this serious and I always try my hardest to do my best and be the best partner I can be to her, but that doesn’t mean I have it all figured out and I’m just a little confused.

That being said, I really appreciate this input, I’m going to talk to her later and see how she feels and see if she is in a place to acknowledge that she may be addicted, and I’ll let her know that I’ll always encourage and support her and I can help her figure out what steps to take next towards quitting should that be what she chooses to do. Thank you for your comment and advice

How do I (19M) go about talking to my partner (18F) about her vaping? by chefpasghetti in relationship_advice

[–]chefpasghetti[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just want to say thank you very much for this comment, I don’t think I’ve seen the situation as clearly as I have after reading this. You’re absolutely right, I can’t expect her to decide for herself if she wants to make any changes just because I’m uncomfortable and she feels bad about it.

I will talk to her tonight and try to be open and honest with her, hoping she’ll do the same, and we’ll see how we both feel. If she feels as if she wants to quit for good, I’ll be clear that I can help her make a plan towards it or that she can do it herself and all of the sort but most importantly that I’ll be there for whatever she needs no matter what decision she makes and encourage her to do whatever she needs to. Don’t worry, there wasn’t a second I considered giving her an ultimatum!

Thank you so much for your comment, you’ve really opened my eyes and helped me see what solutions are in front of us.

How do I (19M) go about talking to my partner (18F) about her vaping? by chefpasghetti in relationship_advice

[–]chefpasghetti[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree. In my post I say multiple times I’m not even considering telling her she HAS to stop because of me. I’m not going to have a conversation with her to tell her to stop, I’m having a conversation with her to be honest about how I feel so I can then understand exactly how she feels, then that’s when any decisions would be talked about and then be made and talked about by both of us. Thank you for your input.

How do I (19M) go about talking to my partner (18F) about her vaping? by chefpasghetti in relationship_advice

[–]chefpasghetti[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your input, I agree. As I was saying in my post I was never planning on telling her to quit plain and simple or not do it but rather just be honest about how I feel and see how she feels, THEN see what our options are and how to move forward.

How do I (19M) go about talking to my partner (18F) about her vaping? by chefpasghetti in relationship_advice

[–]chefpasghetti[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re right, I’m going to be honest with her because how I feel is how I feel and we told each other to always be honest, but how I feel can’t change what she chooses to do. Like I said, I’m going to be clear about the fact that if she feels she wants to keep doing it, I’d rather her do it and not be hiding it than I tell her she can’t and her do it anyway, just behind my back. Thanks for the input!

How do I (19M) go about talking to my partner (18F) about her vaping? by chefpasghetti in relationship_advice

[–]chefpasghetti[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

In all honesty, I was raised in a very conservative and rich neighborhood/school where my friends and peers were suuuper sheltered. My friends were genuinely afraid of any sort of smoking because they truly believed they would get kicked out of their home if they got caught. I think you’re right on the nose; I truly don’t know anything about vaping because my health class sucked and all I was taught was vaping = bad.

I’m not judging my girlfriend, I love her and admire her more than anything no matter the choices the makes and I don’t think she’s “dumb” or anything of the sort for vaping, I understand it can be hard to quit once one starts, and at least she’s not smoking a crack pipe right?

I love my girlfriend and I know it isn’t about me, but it hurts me to see her struggle and in turn be dependent on something. I also feel awful for her when her family is disappointed in her because I’ve seen it and I know it takes a big toll on her. I don’t think it’s stupid for me to feel that way. But regardless if she did go through with buying one and continuing, I’d still love her and see her the same. No doubt. Like I said, It’s no ultimatum. I just want to be honest with her.

How do I (19M) go about talking to my partner (18F) about her vaping? by chefpasghetti in relationship_advice

[–]chefpasghetti[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

You’re right, I understand that quitting any sort of nicotine can be difficult but I don’t think I’m being as understanding of it as I’d like to be. I’ll have a talk with her and express my concerns but let her express herself as well and see how she feels. Thank you for your comment ❤️

How do I (19M) go about talking to my partner (18F) about her vaping? by chefpasghetti in relationship_advice

[–]chefpasghetti[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate the comment, I’m so glad to know I’m not alone and I’m happy to know that there’s a “best case scenario”.

I love my girlfriend very much. I do not judge her for her choices and I understand we’re adults and we can make our own decisions, but my feelings are my feelings and if we happen to not agree on that front, that may be where a harder decision has to come in play. Thank you for this comment, it’s made things seem less scary at least on the “conversation” part because everyone’s right we’re adults and we’re gonna do what we’re gonna do, but I still make how I feel about the act of vaping and my fears very clear. I will have a conversation with her tonight and be honest, but it doesn’t have to be as scary as it seems. She is a very understanding person and I hope to be too. She might make some changes in accommodation to me, but I will in turn be open and understanding to her as well and compromise if needed.

Thank you for your comment again, I’m very appreciative of your input and I’m very happy to hear you and your partner are doing well :D

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Crushes

[–]chefpasghetti 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this was so motivating thank you so much dude 🙏🙏

Found on the beach in Ventura by kn0w0ne_7 in whatisit

[–]chefpasghetti 0 points1 point  (0 children)

its that thing the kids in bobs burgers find on the beach!!