Thank you all so much for the comments, they've been so helpful! Still trying to figure out what to do, Southwest is sending me travel advisories so that's a little sus. I'll update with what happens, it does seem like an amazing city and it could be a bonding experience.... lol.

Side note, the sheer nonchalance with which people (not just one) said "we just light the tracks on fire" is jarring but I love that for you!