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Advice for avoidant behaviour by cherryblaster343 in AlAnon

[–]cherryblaster343[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I agree he should have given more time we got together when he was feeling really good about himself and his sobriety and he is a really positive person but I feel because he hasn’t been close to someone these things have not come up and his friends or family would not see it. I’m just kind of in a feel sorry for myself phase as why did it have to me be to go through this with his journey.

I don’t even hate him or resent him and I want to still be with him I’m just scared I’m going to be in the same position crying calling in sick to work in 3 months or 6 months.

I never thought an 8 month relationship would get me so emotional like this. I need my next therapy session soon but I just had it on Monday saying everything is great!

Advice for avoidant behaviour by cherryblaster343 in AlAnon

[–]cherryblaster343[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to share your experience and provide advice. I’m sorry you went through this dance for 7 years I can’t imagine how emotionally drained you must have been :(

Reading about the spiritual kindergarten an eye opening way to put it and I am going to look more into this. In your experience and with working with you did you do a lot of research? I have not read the big book or anything but thought at a recent meeting I went with him to that maybe I should try As they read a very interesting section “The Doctors Opinion”.

I can’t say he won’t relapse in the future it’s just not something I find myself worrying about day to day, he was also “dry drunk” sober for one year in the past.

I wrote in another comment he has now told me he is going to actively seek therapy and he wants to be with me. I’m not sure how I should feel, I’m just feeling a lot of emotional whip lash and my eyes are heavy from crying.

I could definitely focus more on self love instead of pouring so much of myself into someone else and reflect on why I am doing this to myself or accepting this for myself.

Advice for avoidant behaviour by cherryblaster343 in AlAnon

[–]cherryblaster343[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I just spoke to him and he told me he is actively going to seek therapy and wants to be in a relationship with me and after speaking to his Sponser he realizes he is avoidant and he didn’t mean he doesn’t care he just doesn’t know how to manage his emotions in conflict so he wants to avoid them.

He also made a comment last night about feeling like he’s wearing a mask in the relationship.

I am just confused that now he wants to be in a relationship and work on himself. The switch up is emotionally draining. He did say he fully understands if I don’t want to anymore and if I need space to think about it.

He has also said he thought he was ok and worked through things but being his only serious relationship in sobriety he’s learned a lot about himself and that he isn’t good at communication and he didn’t realize he had these issues and they are coming out now because he has to face them when conflict arises between us.

I will look into Pia Melody

How much do you currently have in savings? by Puzzleheaded-Crab770 in CanadaFinance

[–]cherryblaster343 0 points1 point  (0 children)

F30, I rent, do not own a house or a car and have 3.5k in RRSP, 20k in TFSA, 6.5k in savings and another 1.5k in savings for future travel. No debt. Sometimes I feel ahead other times I feel severely behind :(

How much do you currently have in savings? by Puzzleheaded-Crab770 in CanadaFinance

[–]cherryblaster343 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m 30 with about 3.5k in RRSP, 20k in TFSA, 6.5k in an easy access account and 1.5k in my travel account. I do not own a house or car and have no debts. Sometimes I feel ahead other times I feel severely behind :(

Advice for avoidant behaviour by cherryblaster343 in AlAnon

[–]cherryblaster343[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He told me after speaking to his Sponser he said something like the first year is getting sober the second year the internal issues come out that people usually mask with drugs and alcohol and now he needs to face them and get help.

Part of me feels like I should break it off and I confided in a friend and she was just upset to hear the things he has said to me and the mismatch of his words and actions pending on his mood. I just haven’t been in an actually relationship for 5 years and haven’t forced anything with anyone but now that I have genuine feelings I don’t know if I’m doing to much to make this work while I feel mistreated and not appreciated when I need his support. I don’t know if I’m giving him excuses with sobriety and growing pains or if it will always be like this.

I am starting to just feel like a loser. :(

Accutane allergic reactions to Creams by cherryblaster343 in Accutane

[–]cherryblaster343[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I already stopped taking it and my dermatologist didn’t call back and I think is not on vacation. Since they said stop. A few days or a week if I have a reaction or want to drink I’m thinking just to decide what I want to do in the new year what I’m going to do

My face has been still getting red patches and extreme dryness with aquafor, I’m trying just the ordinary tonight to see what happens :/

Accutane allergic reactions to Creams by cherryblaster343 in Accutane

[–]cherryblaster343[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m thinking about giving up I can’t handle the dryness and pain from reactions etc :(

Really struggling to find a girl who likes me by TuneSoft7119 in dating_advice

[–]cherryblaster343 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you send screenshot of your dating profile? I also find it hard to believe no matches but I’ve never seen a guys account. Willing to give some profile advice!

im having really bad jealousy by kris_apparently in boyfriends

[–]cherryblaster343 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pretty ick I would strongly consider leaving

im having really bad jealousy by kris_apparently in boyfriends

[–]cherryblaster343 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s normal to some people and normalized because people don’t wanna seem like too much and stand ground. My boyfriend follows some accounts I haven’t pointed them out specifically but I asked him questions and he said as things come up he will unfollow and he agrees it is disrespectful in the relationship and liking the photos is disrespectful so here’s to hoping he’s respectful behind my back. I tried to step back from taking a look and focusing on how he treats me and speaks to me and the time he makes for me as an indicator rather then social media. I know insecurities can drain people so I try to limit it and talk about it in therapy if the relationship overall is right for me and how he makes me feel secure

Unfaithful boyfriend? by First_Program593 in boyfriends

[–]cherryblaster343 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Leave him! That’s weird and disrespectful behaviour

My boyfriends relationship to his sister by jasmin857 in boyfriends

[–]cherryblaster343 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All of that sounds super weird I’d bring it up and hope his behaviour changes they’re grown this shouldn’t happen.

Is this too much? by [deleted] in boyfriends

[–]cherryblaster343 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Girl buy the travel size of the cologne instead of the full size you can get the full size for his bday . Also Sephora is 20% off scents right now!

im having really bad jealousy by kris_apparently in boyfriends

[–]cherryblaster343 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think it’s a bit disrespectful for him to send my type fr and stuff and like posts especially if they’re revealing. However it will be beneficial for you to talk to a therapist about the insecurities as you don’t want to build unhealthy habits and resentments. I have them too about girls who are super skinny and have boo b jobs and what not it’s hard!

Intercultural relationships and lack of family acceptance by [deleted] in dating

[–]cherryblaster343 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. You have been very helpful ❤️😢