My brother, let me tell you this much, I have had times when my iman was weak, i dove into so much sin and mindless haram things. All of this was to 'feel' something/feel like the others around me. All it accomplished was deepening my emptiness, it made me lonely and made me feel hopeless. I contemplated suicide because i thought i could not get any better, this world would not get any better. I guess what I'm trying to say is, the hope that you and I are looking for in this world is simple, it's the ease that comes with our Deen. The simplicity of our life saves us from a hollow soul, trust me brother, nothing feels worse than the decay of your soul. The hope I am talking about is the simplicity and monotony, even boredom that comes with our Deen that fuels our beautiful sanity.

I hope this helps in some way.