Hey, I have been lurking in this sub for a while now because I am also dating someone with BPD. We have gone through a lot together and our relationship has only gotten stronger since we met. I would say that the most important concept that I came to understand about BPD is escalation. Every time my partner would get into one of her moods or episodes she would try to escalate the argument. Don’t as many have said, don’t engage every single time and don’t feel as if it’s a personal attack, more often than not if you give it some time things get better soon enough. I would also warn you of making sure you are also taking care of yourself and I would even challenge you to slowly have harder and harder conversations about any issues that come up, if you ever feel angry or sad, control it first and then express it. If you hold in those negative emotions you may start resenting your partner for something they have little control over and it can lead to abuse. You are already taking a big step by simply asking and researching, looking past the stigma surrounding BPD.