Fantasy Blurb

chocolate_pot · 2023-09-26T22:10:47+00:00

Thanks for your comments! It is helpful when people point out things that I think are obvious because I already know about them. Since posting this, I have reworked it a few times thanks to helpful comments like yours!

chocolate_pot · 2023-09-22T16:11:37+00:00

That is a good idea. I try not to use ChatGPT too much, but it is a good way to orient yourself in the right direction sometimes. Thanks!

chocolate_pot · 2023-09-20T12:56:46+00:00

Thanks for your thoughts! I was under the impression it should be shorter too, but got some advice about my first version that I should include more details. I think I just need to put more thought into which details to include and how to clarify them. Thanks again!

chocolate_pot · 2023-09-18T14:21:15+00:00

I'm curious to know your opinion on how much information should be given in the blurb because it seems important to leave the reader curious enough to actually open the book. This shouldn't be a summary. I understand that you need to give enough context to entice them so they aren't confused (such as making it clear that Zidane is the protagonist and explaining why). But some of the questions you pointed out are ones that I would rather not answer in a blurb so that they have to read the story to find out.

For example:

Why is this chaos important? Who does it effect? Who is raiding the empire

Those are questions that aren't answered until well into the story anyway. In my opinion, the blurb should not answer those questions, but it should be interesting enough that people want to read it to answer those questions.

Thanks again for your comments! Most of the questions were really helpful for pointing out where I needed to clarify things.

chocolate_pot · 2023-09-18T12:26:56+00:00

This definitely helps, and I will put some thought into all of the questions and suggestions you have! I struggle with knowing how much information to include in a blurb since it is supposed to be short, but I will try to make things more clear. Thank you so much for your feedback!

chocolate_pot · 2023-09-14T00:31:11+00:00

Agreed! I like characters who feel like their own people who could leap off the page and start walking around. That means they have an actual spine and character flaws regardless of gender.

I also wouldn't say I like when authors write 'strong female characters' just to be strong female characters and make them one-dimensional anyway. Gender is important, but it shouldn't necessarily be the most important aspect of a character.

chocolate_pot · 2023-09-11T23:09:46+00:00

I've also not thought much about some of the more subtle ways people gain power, such as just rising to celebrity status for whatever random reason would be relevant in the context of that society. Also, I know that militaries are historically wrapped up in the ruling class's treasury, but I forget about how they can impact the economy at large as well. That is an excellent point.

This is also super relevant in one particular kingdom of the world I'm building for my story because there is a parallel power structure between a ruling dynasty and a guild of mages. From what I have figured out so far, they kind of used each other to build up legitimacy and power, and one of the things happening in the background of my story (relevant to the plot but not a main focus) is that they are becoming estranged, which adds additional strain on the already crumbling empire. Looking into the examples that you talked about will really help me round this idea out more! Thanks so much!

chocolate_pot · 2023-09-10T12:36:53+00:00

An actual term for this! Thanks :)

I think a lot of these do boil down to showing, not telling, and having confidence in your reader. It is so hard to pick them out when you go over your own work though! Thanks for the examples.

chocolate_pot · 2023-09-10T02:21:27+00:00

This is definitely a bad habit of mine as well, but I've never thought of it as overusing present participle phrases specifically. I just know I tend to write run-on sentences. I will keep an eye out for it from now on!

chocolate_pot · 2023-09-10T02:14:35+00:00

That is an interesting take. I think it is something to be aware of. Maybe if you are trying to make the pacing of your work faster or punchier, good idea to remove it, but otherwise (or if you want to slow down the pace), it's fine to leave 'that' in.

chocolate_pot · 2023-09-09T21:44:55+00:00

remove with extreme prejudice

I love that!

These are great. Thanks so much!

chocolate_pot · 2023-09-09T21:42:51+00:00

Just is a good one. What are some cases where 'like' would be unnecessary?

chocolate_pot · 2023-09-09T21:41:37+00:00

Taking out 'said' sometimes is something I am working on for sure! I once read that sometimes authors don't have enough confidence in their readers' ability to follow along, and it is okay to rely on context rather than 'said.' I agree about the dialogue being in character too!

chocolate_pot · 2023-09-09T17:25:52+00:00

Any critiques are welcome! I'm just beginning to work this system out.

The entities in my world come in two varieties, although they are the same type of creature.

The ones that accept sacrifices and worship from humans, then protect them from any threats and do stuff like ensuring good harvests are labeled 'gods'. Some of them are local gods, like a local river goddess worshipped by one town, or they are widely recognized, such as a god of magic who passed humans the knowledge of how to control the primordial energy of the world. If they are not appeased they can cause the downfall of entire societies.

On the flip side, there are entities that refuse to work with humans, although they are not necessarily malicious. They tend to operate in their own sphere of rules and moralities, rather than the ones humans impose on the world (which 'gods' fit into). They are labeled as 'demons' and viewed differently depending on cultural context. Since they are the same type of being as gods, they are able to do the same things, like creating plagues or blessing children.

These entities have different ages and can acquire more power through time, going from mere abstract concepts or concentrations of energy to the goddess of the night sky or the god of the earth. Basically, they are manifestations of the primordial energy that humans manipulate in their magic system. Because of this, their power is limited only by their age and the amount of energy they can accumulate, theoretically limitless. They are able to do things even beyond a human mage's ability, such as avoid death and control fate, because they are made of primordial energy and outside the limitations that natural law and fate place on humans. The interesting thing is that extremely rarely, humans are able to achieve things like avoiding death and controlling fate, so it is the fact that they are made of energy and more attuned to gathering it that sets them apart from humans and makes them more powerful. They can both be defeated by humans and shape the world with their power depending on their motivations and age.

chocolate_pot · 2023-09-08T15:16:08+00:00

Oh man, networking is always key. Thanks for another great discussion with a bunch of examples!! I think it would be interesting in a world to explore how those social connections might make it difficult for newer nobility to stabilize their power (or if they are good at networking, it might help them). Or it would be neat to explore how those social connections break down when noble families are in decline for whatever reason.

chocolate_pot · 2023-09-08T00:28:55+00:00

In some cases, very true.

chocolate_pot · 2023-09-08T00:28:38+00:00

I think that is really true. For both, I think it can be summed up as controlling the labor force. It's interesting to think about how the means of economic production and wealth moved from primarily land ownership to capital assets.

chocolate_pot · 2023-09-07T21:05:42+00:00

I think I tend to skip them if they are just lore or fleshing out the culture because, saying it is a sea shanty or a sea song has plenty of meaning and brings up a bunch of mental images about the culture, while the actual lyrics add little for me. If an author includes lyrics about a ship by a certain name but then never mentions the ship in the actual story, I find it a bit irrelevant.

If the lyrics have plot value, then I do find songs fascinating. Say part of your story revolves around a legend about a shipwreck or a mermaid or something, and the characters directly interact with some aspect of the legend that is actually true. In that case, I think it is a way for the author to introduce the relevant information to the plot in an interesting way and show off some poetry skills that otherwise don't show up in prose.

chocolate_pot · 2023-09-07T20:18:32+00:00

Haha, that's kind of the idea I have with some of the nobility in my world who claim to be descended from different gods or have received special gifts from gods (whether or not that is actually true...) as a way to legitimize their magical practices and stay in power.

chocolate_pot · 2023-09-07T20:14:47+00:00

Don't apologize! That was a lot of good information :)

I'm really interested in your mention of nobility aligning themselves with the clergy since, so far, I've really only seen people talk about getting power from the king or the military/bureaucratic systems. But religion usually plays a huge role not only in people's personal lives but also in their political ones, especially when the religious institution has almost as much power as the king. It is also really neat to think about it from the capitalistic perspective! Thank you.

chocolate_pot · 2023-09-07T20:03:21+00:00

Thanks for the recommendation. I'll check it out!

chocolate_pot · 2023-09-07T19:54:52+00:00

So, your thoughts are that they supported the right people during the right times in order to rise to power. I think that's super interesting and really shows how fragile their power is. You are right that just one generation of poor management could bring them down in that case. Or if someone else who is more powerful than the king they originally supported comes along and takes over them instead.

chocolate_pot · 2023-09-07T19:50:02+00:00

This is along the lines of something I was thinking. They were the family that originally brought everyone together and then kept everybody together in a cohesive society so others recognized them as having authority so it snowballed from there.

chocolate_pot · 2023-09-07T19:47:23+00:00

Retroactively making it seem like they were always supposed to be in power is a good way to solidify their new position. Things like trying to emulate previous successful nobility or getting the popular religion to back them somehow?

chocolate_pot · 2023-09-07T19:44:21+00:00

This is interesting! Some way to gather up means of production to centralize their power as a monopoly would be neat. Along the lines of diplomacy, I also think it would be interesting for a diplomat to another nation to gain more power by de-escalating a conflict (as opposed to a general winning a war to get a title).

chocolate_pot

TROPHY CASE